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One must be careful when asking women this question, since they usually answer from the self-centered perspective of how the man makes them feel, and what he does for them. Little or no attention is given to what what more accurately reflects his true nature: His character outside of that woman-centered conceptual framework, i.e., what makes him a real man *without* any consideration for her.
Honesty, integrity, loyalty are used to describe real man, without placing them within a meaningful context. A man's integrity, honesty and loyalty will make a woman very unhappy if upholding them means not surrendering to her desires or opinions, e.g., when they conflict with his values, principles, and self-respect. A real man would prefer to lose a woman rather than compromise his values, dignity or self-respect and many women do not appreciate that, and will say he is not a real man (because he made her unhappy).
Absolutely. I know I've mentioned way back when I would browse POF and see all the divorced mothers who desired a "devout Christian man". That's great and all, but I don't really know too many devout Christian fellas (myself included) who are really jumping at the thought of dating someone who is divorced (and shows cleavage with a freshly installed boob job in most of the profile pics). You know...because the Bible says what it says regarding that subject and also says to "judge righteously", to boot. Funny (not really, I reckon) how that all works itself out. I've found that most women who "want a REAL man" online don't really bring anything to the table, to put it politely. I don't run a charity, I don't volunteer my maintenance duties and I don't do women for "fix it" projects.
Having principles makes for slim pickings, but I'll live.
One must be careful when asking women this question, since they usually answer from the self-centered perspective of how the man makes them feel, and what he does for them. Little or no attention is given to what what more accurately reflects his true nature: His character outside of that woman-centered conceptual framework, i.e., what makes him a real man *without* any consideration for her.
Honesty, integrity, loyalty are used to describe real man, without placing them within a meaningful context. A man's integrity, honesty and loyalty will make a woman very unhappy if upholding them means not surrendering to her desires or opinions, e.g., when they conflict with his values, principles, and self-respect. A real man would prefer to lose a woman rather than compromise his values, dignity or self-respect and many women do not appreciate that, and will say he is not a real man (because he made her unhappy).
A real man is one that is monogamous not because he is afraid of getting caught cheating or losing half of his stuff in a divorce but because he absolutely loves and adores the woman he is with and couldn't even think of being with another woman intimately.
A real man is one that loves and protects the woman he is with and treats her like a princess while being wise enough to know that as a human being she could never live up to the idealized and over-valued version of herself that he sees in his eyes, but makes her feel that way because she deserves it and he would never trade her for the world. He loves her despite any character flaws she might have and does so unconditinally. And not because he has to, but because he wants to.
A real man protects the woman he is with even though she might be capable of taking care of and protecting herself and realizes that his purpose in life while in a relationship with her is to evolve and become the man that she deserves to be with despite and and all flaws and imperfections he might percieve in himself.
And a real man that is also a wise man, is one that realizes that love never really lasts and if the point in time comes that she starts to wander and eventually leaves, he must ignore the very real and almost primitive male instinct to want to kill whatever guy got her attention and ultimately body and took away the most precious thing he ever held and be mature enough to realize that in order to truly love her, that it also includes letting her fly free whenever she decides that is time. And to conclude - in a situation like that. A real man does not betray the love he once had or claim to not love her anymore, but rather makes her memory and her life force that was once shared with him a part of his soul from that point forward, well into eternity.
Yea sign me up for being a "real man" then...(maybe when hell freezes over).
One must be careful when asking women this question, since they usually answer from the self-centered perspective of how the man makes them feel, and what he does for them. Little or no attention is given to what what more accurately reflects his true nature: His character outside of that woman-centered conceptual framework, i.e., what makes him a real man *without* any consideration for her.
Honesty, integrity, loyalty are used to describe real man, without placing them within a meaningful context. A man's integrity, honesty and loyalty will make a woman very unhappy if upholding them means not surrendering to her desires or opinions, e.g., when they conflict with his values, principles, and self-respect. A real man would prefer to lose a woman rather than compromise his values, dignity or self-respect and many women do not appreciate that, and will say he is not a real man (because he made her unhappy).
Same thing can apply when asking what makes a woman, a real woman. These traits are not gender specific.
so will i, im a man because i call myself one... its easy
if someone else doesnt want to admit that I'm a man, they need therapy to figure out how to accept it because im not changing
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86
a "real man" is one who has integrity, respectful, responsible, secure in his own skin enough to not need to put others down to feel better, rational, strong decision maker, etc.
so women lack integrity, respect, and are irresponsible and unsecured?
Neither imaginary nor fictitious nor theoretical nor made of plastic or metal or cardboard. An actual organic biological being who was born, lived, and has died or will die, made up of bones and blood and organs and such.
Man:
An individual homo sapiens who identifies as male and is an adult.
No, I'm pretty sure that most of the men portrayed on the Hallmark Channel are fictitious.
Therefore...not real.
Seriously if you wanted to ask, "To women, what characteristics do you value and respect in a man?" then, OP, that's probably what you should have asked.
I like a smart and curious mind, a playful but wise spirit, Good/Giving/Game in bed, authenticity, self control, and a good balance of knowing how to live for today, yet preparing for tomorrow. Not easily threatened by other people, not wasteful, not petty, not pretentious. A quieter and deeper kind of inner strength rather than an exuberant need to self promote. Sensitivity without melodrama. A "Real" Man lives his truth, yet has nothing to prove.
No, I'm pretty sure that most of the men portrayed on the Hallmark Channel are fictitious.
Therefore...not real.
Seriously if you wanted to ask, "To women, what characteristics do you value and respect in a man?" then, OP, that's probably what you should have asked.
I like a smart and curious mind, a playful but wise spirit, Good/Giving/Game in bed, authenticity, self control, and a good balance of knowing how to live for today, yet preparing for tomorrow. Not easily threatened by other people, not wasteful, not petty, not pretentious. A quieter and deeper kind of inner strength rather than an exuberant need to self promote. Sensitivity without melodrama. A "Real" Man lives his truth, yet has nothing to prove.
The majority of women anymore are attracted to the fantasy portrayed on TV.. as is the case with many men.
From reading your posts, you seem a lot more grounded in reality and mature than many I've come across.
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