A Question About Confidence (women, love, attractive, advice)
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The other day, I met up with some friends at the bar. One friend, who was a woman, got hit on by some guy when she went up to the bartender to get a drink. They seemed to really hit it off. After a while, she brought the guy back to our table to hang out with the rest of us. All the women in the group seemed to be into him. He was tall, good-looking, etc. But what I noticed most of all was that he was very confident in himself, especially on the subject of his work, investment banking. None of us work in anything like that so we knew little about the subject. So he kind of dominated the conversation. We all listened intently. Finally, I asked a question. I wasn't trying to trip him up. I just got confused by something he said. What happened next was rather amusing. My question wasn't a difficult one, but it seemed to confuse him. The more he answered, the more he contradicted himself and the more questions it raised, which he also couldn't answer. After a while, it became obvious that he wasn't an investment banker at all. Before long, he got up to go the bathroom, but he never came back to the table.
Obviously, there are plenty of guys like this. They may dress fancy to make you think they make a lot of money when they don't. They may stick their chest out and suck in their gut to make you think they're buff (those guys really make me laugh). Or like the guy I mentioned above, they pretend to be something they're not.
My question is for the women. Most women I've met say they find confidence very attractive. And guys know this, which is why most will try to act confident, even though, deep down, they're full of insecurities. They like to act like they're tough and in control. As a guy, I find it both entertaining and a little disappointing how easily some guys fool women into thinking they're confident men when they're really not. So my question is how do you handle it when you discover a guy isn't as confident as you thought? Do you just laugh it off? Has it happened to you at a point that was far too late? Does it change the way you look at other guys? Any interesting stories to share?
You just start a conversation, and see how long it takes them to start bragging, offering up personal details you never asked about.
Good question though, I've long struggled to understand why so many otherwise picky women will buy into a guy's flagrant lies. I've had this discussion recently, and the answer I got was: "We just want to believe it's true."
The other day, I met up with some friends at the bar. One friend, who was a woman, got hit on by some guy when she went up to the bartender to get a drink. They seemed to really hit it off. After a while, she brought the guy back to our table to hang out with the rest of us. All the women in the group seemed to be into him. He was tall, good-looking, etc. But what I noticed most of all was that he was very confident in himself, especially on the subject of his work, investment banking. None of us work in anything like that so we knew little about the subject. So he kind of dominated the conversation. We all listened intently. Finally, I asked a question. I wasn't trying to trip him up. I just got confused by something he said. What happened next was rather amusing. My question wasn't a difficult one, but it seemed to confuse him. The more he answered, the more he contradicted himself and the more questions it raised, which he also couldn't answer. After a while, it became obvious that he wasn't an investment banker at all. Before long, he got up to go the bathroom, but he never came back to the table.
Obviously, there are plenty of guys like this. They may dress fancy to make you think they make a lot of money when they don't. They may stick their chest out and suck in their gut to make you think they're buff (those guys really make me laugh). Or like the guy I mentioned above, they pretend to be something they're not.
My question is for the women. Most women I've met say they find confidence very attractive. And guys know this, which is why most will try to act confident, even though, deep down, they're full of insecurities. They like to act like they're tough and in control. As a guy, I find it both entertaining and a little disappointing how easily some guys fool women into thinking they're confident men when they're really not. So my question is how do you handle it when you discover a guy isn't as confident as you thought? Do you just laugh it off? Has it happened to you at a point that was far too late? Does it change the way you look at other guys? Any interesting stories to share?
I don't mind if a man isn't confident, what I mind and loath is when a man/guy, lies and pretends he is something he is not, like your friend here who you met at the bar.
This is why I love to ask people questions. I like to hear reasons behind their thoughts and opinions and especially to see if they're just blowing smoke.
Unfortunately theres tons of women out there who are all about image and what a guys status is,so if you can convince them and sell them that image you got a decent chance to get her..
But i agree theres allot of phonies out there unfortuantely theres women who fall for it..
Someone said it in the quotes/advice thread; be outstanding without standing out. Hard to explain, and it's not always one thing but a combination of several. I can usually tell when guy is lacking confidence. It's like class, you can't fake it. You either have it or you don't.
These days, it's pretty much a party-pooper. I'll politely pull back. That brings with it a laundry list of problems.
Unfortunately theres tons of women out there who are all about image and what a guys status is,so if you can convince them and sell them that image you got a decent chance to get her..
But i agree theres allot of phonies out there unfortuantely theres women who fall for it..
Im just talking about guys into one night stands..Though if he ever hides it logn enough to get into a relationship the owmen may feel she can fix him
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