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Would you be put off if "your guy" asked for a DNA test of your baby?
Personally, I believe ALL babies should be given mandatory DNA tests for paternity. That way nothing can be hidden and she can't pull the "don't you trust me" card.
We have 10+% of births happen with the father never knowing the kid isn't his. WOW!
I mean babies are ran through a myriad of simple tests before they leave the hospital, you'd think knowing who the father was might rank up there a little higher
Just like getting a blood test before marriage. How many people get an incurable disease because they were in love and "trusted" the other person?
I say on the birth certificate beside the father's name it should read:
"Proven Father via DNA Testing"
or
"Father by Law Only. Full Responsibility Acknowledged & Accepted"
I'd submit to the test, pack up and move out. I have no desire to be with someone who doesn't trust me. He has every right to ask for the test and I have every right not to stay with someone who thinks I sleep around on him.
If it were automatic, I'd have no issue with it but I'd know my relationship was in the toilet if my husband asked for a DNA test.
Hmmm...I wonder how the courts would act if I got married and then got my mistress preggers. Could I collect child support from my wife for my kid that isn't hers? I wonder
No, because you'd have a hard time establishing she's the mother. It's a question of whether someone is established as a child's parent. Once established as a parent, you get the bill.
I'm not a cheating *****. I would be very insulted if my boyfriend/husband asked for a DNA paternity test. If you're even contemplating asking, maybe you should re-evaluate your relationship.
To me, him asking would be proof we don't belong together. I'd submit because I won't have my child's paternity challenged but the relationship would be over. I deserve better than someone who thinks I'm a *****.
What I don't get is why men are having babies with women they don't trust?
Isn't it amazing how some women blow something so little and trivial into BAMM, something that will affect their child FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIVES! CLEARLY not thinking of the child first and CLEARLY only thinking of themselves first. But hey, that's what a REAL mother does right?
I know a friend that had a secret paternity test ran on his first son. Why? He could not grasp the fact that this little person came from him. This little life, HE made. This perfect little miracle, was a little him, a little mini-me. He got the test back and sure enough, 99% it was his. He looked at it, even showed me, and said, "I guess that settles that."
On the flip side, what if he threw those test results away? What if his wife found them and chimped out because "he didn't trust her?" File for divorce, sell the home, move away, kid growing up with no dad, the works. All over a little piece of carbon paper. I think we all know who is only thinking of themselves in this thread
Little Jimmy grows up and turns 18, searches for his father, finds his father. Very down to earth, soft spoken, well-to-do man...certainly not the wife beating devil his mother made him out to be. Jimmy asks him his side of the story and all he mentions is "I had a paternity test ran on you and your mother kicked me out of you two's lives."
Jimmy comes back with "And...."
"And...and what? You were mine."
"And...there had to be something more, right?"
"Nah...that was it"
"There HAD to be more. Why would you leave us..."
"You were born in this town right? You traveled to this town to find me right? I'm not the one that moved away."
Looks like moma hen has some explaining to do...
Last edited by HansProof; 07-31-2009 at 08:34 AM..
You should never ask for "explaining", HansProof, unless you are prepared to handle the "explaining" being handed to you -- which, I'm guessing, you are not. In your purely hypothetical scenario, if I was the "moma hen", first, I would never believe the man did the DNA test because he had a hard time comprehending how he could have begotten a human being. That just requires a suspension of disbelief that I would not be willing to accord to anyone who is over the age of 6. Second, while I would not automatically divorce a man over this, it would certainly degrade our relationship in a major way, thereby increasing the chances of divorce in the future.
As for the "explanation" for my son, it would be this:
When a man who married you and has no reason whatsoever to suspect you of infidelity, suspects you anyway, nothing good can come out of it. Today, he's doing a DNA test on his son. Next year, he'll plant a tracker in my car, spend the afternoons staring at the clock, and accuse me of having an affair if I am even 1 minute late coming home from work. This is the kind of man who will demand to know my e-mail password, who will raid my computer and scan my cell phone memory. This is the kind of man who will spend a week pouting in stony silence after seeing me being merely courteous to another man. This is the kind of man who will constantly be suspicious of my clothes, my make-up, my hair, and obsessively look for proof of infidelity that he is convinced I am engaged in. In other words, a man incapable of having a relationship founded on trust. No proof will ever be enough. I, the wife, could never be loyal enough, trustworthy enough. No matter what I did or how I lived, he would always assume that I am unfaithful. In other words, he is a misogynist. This is no way to live, having to prove each and every day that you aren't a green elephant. And it doesn't matter how soft-spoken he is.
Doesn't mean much coming from a woman. Even I had a preggers scare but she ended up just lieing to me.
Still, I thought like many men, how can I get someone preggers? You're not a guy so you don't understand it. There is that thought of being totally unable to reproduce for some reason. It might even be hardwired into us. We can sew our seeds across a country and not feel the need to take responcability for anything. The thought of "Well I can't have a kid" sure makes it easy.
As for putting a tracker in your car, spying on you, and cracking into emails for lovers, why would I go to such an extent? If you're going to cheat, you're going to cheat. In the end, it all comes up in the paternity test. Seems like a lot of hard work when I can send a test away and get real proof in two days Or is that your irrational/jump to conclusions thinking again...
Still, I thought like many men, how can I get someone preggers? You're not a guy so you don't understand it. There is that thought of being totally unable to reproduce for some reason. It might even be hardwired into us. We can sew our seeds across a country and not feel the need to take responcability for anything. The thought of "Well I can't have a kid" sure makes it easy.
Doesn't mean much coming from a woman. Even I had a preggers scare but she ended up just lieing to me.
Still, I thought like many men, how can I get someone preggers? You're not a guy so you don't understand it. There is that thought of being totally unable to reproduce for some reason. It might even be hardwired into us. We can sew our seeds across a country and not feel the need to take responcability for anything. The thought of "Well I can't have a kid" sure makes it easy.
Did you not know that engaging in sexual intercourse often results in pregnancy, even if you use protection? Or are you sterile?
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To me, him asking would be proof we don't belong together. I'd submit because I won't have my child's paternity challenged but the relationship would be over. I deserve better than someone who thinks I'm a *****. 
