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Old 04-10-2010, 06:41 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,438,093 times
Reputation: 14692

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Quote:
Originally Posted by HansProof View Post
Maybe a weekend mother? The supporting reasoning holds up real well in court.



Yeah, just that simple. We all know single moms are prime real estate on the dating market



Wow...you have this all planned out. I just saw my bud through his divorce and the woman thought she had it all planned out with collecting big checks for their two kids, alimony, the works. What a kick in the jaw she got with no kids and her paying. Why I love this state. You bring the simple notion of "lack of trust" to court and the judge will die laughing Self incrimination as a wack job is the best defense Already saw it...
The only way he's turning me into a weekend mother is to prove I'm unfit to have my own children. No judge will take a baby away from it's mother without darned good reason. I've given no reason I'm not fit to raise my own children. Worst case scenario would be joint physical custody but that is very hard on children and since he couldn't nurse, they'd have been with me. There would have been no hesitation on my part to file for divorce as soon as he asked for a DNA test. I owe it to my daughters to not model staying in a relationship with a man who thinks I'm a lying ho. I would hope my daughters would grow up to have more self esteem than to settle for that.

I simply see no reason to stay with someone who has so little faith in me. I'd have to have very low self esteem to cling to a man who has, openly, declared he thinks I'm a ****.

 
Old 04-10-2010, 06:44 AM
 
Location: Homeless
1,203 posts, read 1,978,186 times
Reputation: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by chanceryan View Post
A College class mate of mine in Florida was telling us his story in "Child Development class" about how he and his wife when they had their first child together, how shocked and elated he was to be having a son.

He went on to tell us that while out doing some shoping one day w/ his little boy, now a yr old, he was in line at a store and looked at his son to be hit w/ a wave of "What if He's Not Mine". He said for days it consumed him, his wife had done nothing to make him suspect anything, nor had he learned or heard anything.

Since he couldn't get it out his head he secretly scheduled a paternity test, a few weeks later when he went in to get the results at the Ped's Doc he was met in the office w/ the Doctor and a rep for Child Services, and he found out it wasn't his kid.

The story of course went on from there but the core is he found out his wife was having an affair the entire 2yrs they were married, but when she got pregnant called it off. He obviously divorced her, but unfortunately for him he's stuck paying child support for a kid that is not his. He says he can't even look at the boy anymore and has nothing to do w/ him or the mother, w/ exception to the $500mth he sends in support each month.
That would make me want to hire OJ Simpson on her.

 
Old 04-10-2010, 06:54 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,137,989 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
I owe it to my daughters to not model staying in a relationship with a man who thinks I'm a lying ho.
That's what it comes down to and it looks like some are having a difficult time grasping the point. That, and they don't realize threats and/or mandates fall on deaf ears for some. I would never put on with such boloney from any person. There wouldn't be any reason to.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:01 AM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,901 posts, read 42,593,756 times
Reputation: 42767
Morning, everyone! I see the battle wages on.

I didn't realize Gwynedd is in the UK, but it makes sense now because he links to a lot of British publications. I don't know how the law is over there, but of course the Constitution, Bill of Rights, etc., wouldn't apply to him. Whatever they want to do over there is up to them!

And now ... I have a busy day ahead of me. Play nice, people.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:05 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,137,989 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Morning, everyone! I see the battle wages on.

I didn't realize Gwynedd is in the UK, but it makes sense now because he links to a lot of British publications. I don't know how the law is over there, but of course the Constitution, Bill of Rights, etc., wouldn't apply to him. Whatever they want to do over there is up to them!

And now ... I have a busy day ahead of me. Play nice, people.
I don't think he's from the UK. Either way, you're motivating me to get off my but and do some yard work.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:17 AM
 
Location: Homeless
1,203 posts, read 1,978,186 times
Reputation: 516
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post

I really don't get why guys are sleeping with women they can't trust. If you can't trust her, keep it in your pants. It really is that simple.

Thats the catch 22.
If he does trust her, and after 5 years they get divorced and the child is not his, he still has to support the child financially for 18+(end of college in some states)
So he loses money.

If he asks for a test up front, since she feels he does not trust her, he loses her.


Knowing this the most practical course for men to take.

1. Remain celibate.
2. Get sterilized as early as possible.
3. Be promiscuous but make sure they she does not know your actual identification, Of course if you are sterilized this does not matter.
4. Get married and accept that there is a slight the child(ren) you raise might not be yours , but you are being generous by doing so.

I am not saying women cannot be trusted.
But one can never tell.
And sometimes the signs of infidelity are not so easy to read.

Which means the most well meaning guys have the most risk of getting screwed.
just like the most well meaning women have the same risk of getting left to raise a child on their own.

Looking at the situation objectively without throwing in emotions, its hard to see why we even get together at all.

lolz.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:25 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,438,093 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
That's what it comes down to and it looks like some are having a difficult time grasping the point. That, and they don't realize threats and/or mandates fall on deaf ears for some. I would never put on with such boloney from any person. There wouldn't be any reason to.
Yup. I have, ZERO, motive to stay in a relationship with someone who thinks I'm a lying ho. There's just nothing in such a relationship for me. I'd rather be with someone who loves me, cares for me and trusts me.

Honestly, I would have been devestated if my dh asked for paternity tests on our kids. It would have shattered everything I've ever believed about him and our marriage. There wouldn't be any way to put the pieces back together. This is a HUGE betrayal of trust. Finding out he never trusted me and never will would be a mountain we could never climb and get over.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:31 AM
 
19,045 posts, read 25,137,989 times
Reputation: 13485
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Honestly, I would have been devestated if my dh asked for paternity tests on our kids. It would have shattered everything I've ever believed about him and our marriage. There wouldn't be any way to put the pieces back together. This is a HUGE betrayal of trust. Finding out he never trusted me and never will would be a mountain we could never climb and get over.
The same would be true for me. Gosh, I don't know what I'd do, but there's no way he could ever think that of me. Put him through school, buy us a home, then take on the significant burden of carrying a fetus to term and all the havoc that goes along with it, only to have some kind of assinine charge result in the end? HA HA. OTOH, I have never dated, let alone marry, stupid men, only the best, so this type of garbage wouldn't be an issue.
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:32 AM
 
Location: Whoville....
25,386 posts, read 35,438,093 times
Reputation: 14692
Quote:
Originally Posted by nichirenx View Post
Thats the catch 22.
If he does trust her, and after 5 years they get divorced and the child is not his, he still has to support the child financially for 18+(end of college in some states)
So he loses money.

If he asks for a test up front, since she feels he does not trust her, he loses her.


Knowing this the most practical course for men to take.

1. Remain celibate.
2. Get sterilized as early as possible.
3. Be promiscuous but make sure they she does not know your actual identification, Of course if you are sterilized this does not matter.
4. Get married and accept that there is a slight the child(ren) you raise might not be yours , but you are being generous by doing so.

I am not saying women cannot be trusted.
But one can never tell.
And sometimes the signs of infidelity are not so easy to read.

Which means the most well meaning guys have the most risk of getting screwed.
just like the most well meaning women have the same risk of getting left to raise a child on their own.

Looking at the situation objectively without throwing in emotions, its hard to see why we even get together at all.

lolz.
Once he has established himself as the legal father, he's the legal father. There is no, it's five years later so I think I'll have a DNA test now because we're getting a divorce. I'm sorry if you were stupid enough to trust someone whom you shouldn't have trusted. Obviously, you should have picked better but once your bed is made, or should I say the child's bed, it's made. What kind of man puts a child through that?

Children are not trash to be taken out in a divorce. Being a father is more than one sperm. Honestly, if they came to me today and told me one of my kids might not be mine, I would not have the test. I would want to meet the other child (since in my case it would have to be a baby mix up) but I would never take away being my children's mother from them or take away from the other child they have a mother. I would leave that hope until they were adults. I probably wouldn't even tell the children. We'd just have this family we know that we go to see now and again who happen to have a daughter born on the same day in the same hospital. I'd probably lie to my kids and say we met in Lamaze class and found each other again.

My kids have grown in my heart. There was no walking away or giving them back after 5 years. I can't even wrap my brain around how a man can do this. Honestly, I woudln't want to know once I'd established myself as the child's mother. It would be too painful for all to find out the child really wasn't mine and the child's world would be shattered beyond repair.

I have a deep respect for my husband for raising a child who is not his as his own. The only reason my ss was ever told was that we, mistakenly, thought it might help him understand why his mother abandoned him. Unfortunately, it just alienated him from his father so now he has no family. I'd take that one back in a heart beat if I could.

Why don't these "fathers" (I use the term lightly here) care about these children? Can they only care about a child who has their DNA?
 
Old 04-10-2010, 07:57 AM
 
1,342 posts, read 2,158,111 times
Reputation: 1037
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler View Post
Once he has established himself as the legal father, he's the legal father. There is no, it's five years later so I think I'll have a DNA test now because we're getting a divorce. I'm sorry if you were stupid enough to trust someone whom you shouldn't have trusted. Obviously, you should have picked better but once your bed is made, or should I say the child's bed, it's made. What kind of man puts a child through that?
This is the most vile excuse for cuckolding and infidelity I've ever seen. Imagine the shoe on the other foot:

"Oh, so sorry we switched your baby up in the hospital 5 years ago and now your child is sick and will die in a few weeks/months because the genetic disorder runs in the family and you had no idea. :shrugs shoulders: Oh well, sorry you were stupid enough to trust us. So sad, too bad."

You going to tolerate that? Yeah, didn't think so.
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