Are military personnel less faithful compared to civilians? (girlfriend, married, men)

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by mir86

And like someone said, there's no opportunities for men to cheat in Afghanistan/kuwait/Iraq and so on! seriously..those guys are rarely attracted to the female soldiers anyways (which being in the opposite sex's room isn't allowed anyways). I don't really know how TDY works, but aren't they mostly on the base, doing training? so once again, not much time for them to go out and cheat.

There are always opportunities to cheat. True that in recent years the DoD has made it more difficult with some of the rules they've put in place, but it happens, even in Iraq. The standards of attraction start to get compromised when people go without sex for months on end, so using the argument that soldiers aren't attracted to other female soldiers is false. Most TDY's allow the member to have lot's of free time on their hands after their normal duty day.

[Coolhand68]

Originally Posted by miu

Is that you only rationale for thinking that those in the military don't cheat these days? There have been serious sexual assaults on our female personnel by their male counterparts.

Sexual assault in military 'jaw-dropping,' lawmaker says - CNN.com

Sexual Assaults In Army On Rise (washingtonpost.com)
And many think that these numbers of assaults and rapes are much higher and many women are afraid to report them because of having to be stuck still in the same troop afterwards as the rapist.

As to where the assaults occurred, I read one female soldier saying that the women were afraid to use the toilet facilities, and some women would try to avoid drinking beverages to the point of severe dehydration. And roofies exist in the military as well as civilian life. Then many women in the military talk about the men classifying them in one of three categories, a b*tch, a ho and a dyke. The b*tch doesn't put out and the men think that it's because she thinks herself better than them (maybe they are used to FWB's in civilian life), the ho is a sleaze that sleeps with everyone, and the dyke label is self explanatory. Many woman try to pass themselves off as lesbians, or better yet, crazy lesbians in an effort to keep the male attention away from them. Some women keep a knife on themselves at all times in an effort for self protection. Many of these assault victims develop PTSD.
t r u t h o u t | For Female Soldiers, Sexual Assault Remains a Danger

I take issue with some of these articles. The part about 41% of women in the military that have been sexually assualted while serving doesn't specify by whom....other military members, spouses, family members, dates from the civilian sector, strangers, other women? Not to mention the false accusations that occur by jilted lovers. I can't speak for the other branches of service and how they handle sexual assualt and battery cases, but in the Air Force I can tell you there is a zero tolerance policy and members are briefed about awareness annually and just before and during their deployments. Most members won't approach one another of the opposite sex just for fear of the perception that it may be construed as harassment. These articles are also written by biased news sources which historically have not been kind to the military.

I won't deny that there are rapes that occur within the military by military members, but it's not as common as these articles would have the reader believe.

[Glitterific]

Perhaps the Air Force handles it much better than the Army does, but from what I have seen-they certainly can and do drop the ball when it comes to protecting female soldiers from assault.

Coolhand68, it isn't easy to judge how often a sexual assault takes place. Many victims do not speak out. Sometimes people think because it hasn't happened to them or to someone they know, it rarely happens. I worked alongside MPs at one of the largest bases in the U.S. The amount of things we were told about (only because we worked at HQ) was alarming.

I spoke with a woman who was assaulted by her coworker not too long after the unit had a briefing on sexual assault awareness. That isn't what stuck out to me when she said that, since I've been to those briefing and most people just zone out while being talked to- she said how hard it would be to have to go over to Iraq with the same person who attacked her. I think about her from time to time and I hope she gets help when she returns stateside.

[Glitterific]

Originally Posted by mir86

And like someone said, there's no opportunities for men to cheat in Afghanistan/kuwait/Iraq and so on! seriously..those guys are rarely attracted to the female soldiers anyways (which being in the opposite sex's room isn't allowed anyways). I don't really know how TDY works, but aren't they mostly on the base, doing training? so once again, not much time for them to go out and cheat.

I can't believe I missed this. You are entirely wrong. There are opportunities to have sex when deployed. You certainly can't lay around and share a smoke afterward, but that doesn't mean it can't happen. Also your comment about being attracted to other soldiers is just ridiculous. Whoever told you that bull is full of it.

We didn't share rooms, but we shared floors. Do you really think men and women stayed out of each others rooms just because it was a rule? I know people who had their bf/gf spend the night even with a roomate in there.

[mir86]

You guys are all right about the fact that people will cheat no matter what, regardless of attraction and deployments.

I guess I haven't met too many people in the military (female included) who have wanted to cheat while deployed or whom have been raped while serving. Maybe these service members I know are fully aware of the consequences in the event they got caught (which they will!), nor do they have a desire to do these things. I just forgot about the facts so don't get all angry at me! I am aware that these things happen, but the bottom line; I think cheating happens the same in civilization or in military.

[Glitterific]

I apologize if I came off as harsh. I have seen a few people cross the line when I was enlisted. It wasn't so much the cheating, which really was just gossip fodder when we found out about it, but the rape issue is a sore subject with me. I've helped others in their time of need yet still feel helpless that I couldn't do more for them.

I would be upset if my children wanted to enlist. I would fear for their safety whether deployed or stateside!

[mir86]

Originally Posted by Glitterific

I apologize if I came off as harsh. I have seen a few people cross the line when I was enlisted. It wasn't so much the cheating, which really was just gossip fodder when we found out about it, but the rape issue is a sore subject with me. I've helped others in their time of need yet still feel helpless that I couldn't do more for them.

I would be upset if my children wanted to enlist. I would fear for their safety whether deployed or stateside!

The rape thing is a scary issue in and of itself. I have female friends in the military and I'm relieved that they're safe and are having a good experience so far. The men I know that are serving even tell me about the creepy guys who try to rape the tech school girls that come here to D.M. or just in general (I'm from Tucson) and they're disgusted by it. The higher ups need to do more regulating with the enforcing of rules.

I'm sorry you had to see so much nastiness in your career.

[miu]

Originally Posted by Coolhand68

I take issue with some of these articles. The part about 41% of women in the military that have been sexually assualted while serving doesn't specify by whom....other military members, spouses, family members, dates from the civilian sector, strangers, other women? Not to mention the false accusations that occur by jilted lovers. I can't speak for the other branches of service and how they handle sexual assualt and battery cases, but in the Air Force I can tell you there is a zero tolerance policy and members are briefed about awareness annually and just before and during their deployments. Most members won't approach one another of the opposite sex just for fear of the perception that it may be construed as harassment. These articles are also written by biased news sources which historically have not been kind to the military.

I won't deny that there are rapes that occur within the military by military members, but it's not as common as these articles would have the reader believe.

I'll have to disagree with you on this. There are many many articles about sexual assault in the military, and the scenario sounds all too possible to me. Especially the assaults in Iraq and Afghanistan. In other conflicts, the men had outlets for sexual release in the local brothels and bars in Asia and Europe. But not so in the Muslim countries. Plus factor in the prevalence back home of the FWB concept. I think that the men on deployment feel that the female soldiers that are their comrades ought to put out, take one for the team so to speak.

And I can see why these assaults would be under reported for fear of retribution.

Even only one assault would be one assault too many imo.

Anyway, it's one of the reasons why I would never want any of my female friends to enlist in the military.

[thatguy1]

Originally Posted by miu

I'll have to disagree with you on this. There are many many articles about sexual assault in the military, and the scenario sounds all too possible to me. Especially the assaults in Iraq and Afghanistan. In other conflicts, the men had outlets for sexual release in the local brothels and bars in Asia and Europe. But not so in the Muslim countries. Plus factor in the prevalence back home of the FWB concept. I think that the men on deployment feel that the female soldiers that are their comrades ought to put out, take one for the team so to speak.

And I can see why these assaults would be under reported for fear of retribution.

Even only one assault would be one assault too many imo.

Anyway, it's one of the reasons why I would never want any of my female friends to enlist in the military.

Can you explain that in a more intellectual fashion for us?

[WestCobb]

As a soldier currently on duty, I'm going to say "hell yes, cheating is WAY more rampant in the military than in the civilian world." And this goes both ways, as others have noted .. spouses cheat more too.