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I have been married for 17 years. I recently received an out-of-the-blue phone call from a former boyfriend. He left his phone number and email address and after a week or so of thinking about it, I emailed him.
He is married with two kids as am I. Our emails border on flirty but are we both say the same things about being content with our marriages and having no desire to hurt anyone (especially our kids).
Neither of us has told our spouses about our emails. We "talk" about everything from work, to extended family, to parenting. In some ways it is a lot like my email relationships with other friends except for the past history.
Is this cheating? Should I tell my husband? I have no intention of anything more than an email friendship.
I have been married for 17 years. I recently received an out-of-the-blue phone call from a former boyfriend. He left his phone number and email address and after a week or so of thinking about it, I emailed him.
He is married with two kids as am I. Our emails border on flirty but are we both say the same things about being content with our marriages and having no desire to hurt anyone (especially our kids).
Neither of us has told our spouses about our emails. We "talk" about everything from work, to extended family, to parenting. In some ways it is a lot like my email relationships with other friends except for the past history.
Is this cheating? Should I tell my husband? I have no intention of anything more than an email friendship.
It's probably fascinating to talk to someone in the past, and see what they're doing. Now that both of you have children you are relating better, or maybe feeling like you are younger again. It's perfectly normal to have some feelings, after all you were in love at one time. I would just draw the line with him without saying it. After all, if he was your true love, you would have married him before this all happened.
Anything you have to hide from your husband, is something you shouldn't be doing in the first place. If this is really innocent communication, you have no reason to keep it from hubby.
This sounds too familiar. What would happen if you don't tell your husband and he later finds out by fate like I did. What then? An I'm sorry won't cut it.
It's not really cheating, but at the same time, it is.
First, you said the emails have been "flirty". If you caught your husband doing this, would you be offended? Be honest with yourself. Obviously, you're concerned about it, otherwise you wouldn't be asking what to do about it. If you think he would be offended, then stop emailing the ex..
Better yet, even if you don't think he would be offended, stop. One thing always leads to another - even if it is in the mind. The ex could be thinking that this is something that it's not. The husband could find it and start thinking that it's something that it's not. You might start thinking of things that, well, are better left to single people. You get my point.
Now time to face the music: Tell your husband. He trusts you. In fact, he trusts you so much that you take it for granted. Do you think that, by talking to an ex lover, you've really earned that trust right now? The bottom line, no matter how innocent the discussions are, your husband of seventeen years doesn't know about them or who they are with. If you want to keep his trust, tell him everything, and show him everything. Leave nothing for him to doubt. Then, and only then, once he knows and IF he is comfortable with the idea, carry on the friendship with the ex. If he's not comfortable with it, well, let it go. It's not worth losing seventeen years worth of time over some silly email friendship.
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