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I'm a 46 yr old Christian woman and have been married to my second husband and father of my onely child(daughter who just turned 18) for 19 yrs. He told me when she turned 2yrs that he didn't love me the way "I needed to be loved & that he cared a lot about me but only married me because I got pregnant." He told me when I met him that he had been divorced for over a year and separated longer that. He has no other children. When I became pregnant I was inshock but happy. My first husband and I were never able to conceive. My current husband dated for nearley 6mos before making love. When I told him that I was pregnant he acted very shut-down and distant. I told him that if he didn't want to be a father I would raise the child on my own and never bother him again. He told me then that he wanted to be a father but had lied to me in the past. Something in my spirit told me that he was still married. When I told him what I suspected he confessed that he had lied about being divorced but not about being separated. He said he was afraid that if I knew he was still married that I would not have dated him. He went out the very next morning and filed for divorce. I forgave him but never really trusted him completely again. We were married 2 weeks before my daughter's birth. He never even told his parents about me or our soon child to be until I was 6 mos along. Long story short I never felt that he truely loved me and that he was only trying to do the right thing by marrying me. This became all the more evident when he began going out with his single male friends after his swing shift at work. He never invited them to our
home as I had requested many times. He frequently lied about working late as well. It's been over 19 yrs since we began our relationship. We live in the same house together but in separate rooms. He has not touched me since 1999. I went as far as getting breast implants and lipo-suction to turn his head but he was so addicted to pornography that I did nothing for him. I now suffer from fibromyalgia and had a serious back injury. I am on permanent disability. He makes over 80Gs yr. I don't know how I can make it on my own he even says that if I or he files for divorce he'll be the one stuck with alimony. I feel so guilty when I think about leaving because I know he will still have to support me. I just can't stay in this morgue of a marriage any longer. Any advice besides blowing out my brains?
bout working overtime (I would call his job. @12:30amand they would say he got off @10:30 pm.
and this is why getting married purely because of a child is stupid
I was talking to my girlfriend the other day who I have not seen in ages. We went to high school together. She got married when she was early 20s and they had two kids, which are the light of her life.
We had a few glasses of wine and she started crying to me and confessed that she feels like her and her man live together like roommates.
I wasn't sure what to say because I know them both and don't want to hear about the problems, so I sort of changed the subject.
But now I'm wondering what does that mean, roommates? I really thought they were happy together.
Well Woof, the only reason facebook is useful. All them women get bored; and want to meet up with an old flame. Millions and millions of them play out the same scenario every year.
Been there, done it. You would be surprised how many couples live that way. With completely separate lives. Many of my friends marriages are like that.
let me esplain u about sex and marriage. once she realized she can do a mega asset download with a phone call to a lawyer, she resigned as live in lover and became a property owner.
friend i only had sex twice in my life, b4 and after marriage. if u wana be celebate, get married.
how to learn life's lessons and survive?-----
prenup--- dont leave home w/o it.
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 05-21-2012 at 11:22 PM..
No sex , seperate bedrooms. My exH used to call us roommates, I had sex once a week out of obligation and seperate bedrooms 4 yrs. Unhappily married she is.
Been there, done it. You would be surprised how many couples live that way. With completely separate lives. Many of my friends marriages are like that.
It is very common. Part of the reason that houses are so much bigger today than they were only a few decades ago. It is impossible to live separate lives in a small house.
I was talking to my girlfriend the other day who I have not seen in ages. We went to high school together. She got married when she was early 20s and they had two kids, which are the light of her life.
We had a few glasses of wine and she started crying to me and confessed that she feels like her and her man live together like roommates.
I wasn't sure what to say because I know them both and don't want to hear about the problems, so I sort of changed the subject.
But now I'm wondering what does that mean, roommates? I really thought they were happy together.
Code words for "I'm not gettin' any."
The problem arises when people think of the wedding ceremony as the finish line. Suddenly, all that romance and keeping up appearances seems to go by the wayside for some. People get fat or spend all night watching ESPN. The lovemaking gets stale and infrequent. And then you live like roommates. But even this is a temporary stage for most. One day, one partner or the other meet someone at work who really rocks his or her world. A few months later, they march in and ask for a divorce.
The critical thing here is to always invest in your relationship with your time and energy. No, it doesn't mean that you whip up one outrageous outing after another such as hot air ballooning or picnics or whatever else. It's really a matter of turning off the television and doing things together. Taking up a hobby. And, most of all, talking to each other. You did that when you were dating? Why stop now?
Almost without exception every evening, MrsCPG and I shoo the kids from the den (Or, when it's nice out, the deck), grab our favorite beverage, and talk about our days, our conversations, and whatever else that might cross our mind. We don't check items off a list, mind you. We just talk. And crack jokes. And whatever else.
At least once every couple of weeks, we go out. And we do our level best to take a vacation together once a year WITHOUT THE KIDS. Sometimes it's to Mexico or New York. Sometimes it's just a bed-and-breakfast a hundred miles away. Either way, the important thing is to reconnect to this person with whom you've pledged your troth.
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