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Old 08-05-2009, 08:22 PM
 
9,912 posts, read 10,565,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
That's why God invented lawyers.

Seriously though, I do sympathize with someone who is at the receiving end of this, particularly if it is a trait that wasn't apparent from the start of the relationship.
Yeah, any mention of lawyers is probably enough to get me using the silent treatment!

It's an interesting little game, that's for sure. I must say though that initially after experiencing a master at the game (something that wasn't apparent early on in the relationship) for a time after I became wary of folks that appeared to be employing it also but have since experienced people like yourself who simply require time to process information and will consider before reacting.
Now I think the hard part is ascertaining WHO is going to play the game for the whole 9 yards and with dirty tactics and who is just giving themselves some bench time before coming back to play a good, fair game.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:27 PM
 
4,135 posts, read 4,839,803 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
Now I think the hard part is ascertaining WHO is going to play the game for the whole 9 yards and with dirty tactics and who is just giving themselves some bench time before coming back to play a good, fair game.
Yup, that's the difficulty. I never thought I'd really appreciate my boyfriend's in-your-face-this-is-why-I'm-ticked attitude, but after reading this, it doesn't seem so bad after all.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:30 PM
 
Location: Some place very cold
5,500 posts, read 16,889,886 times
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I try to talk with people in a respectful, reasonable, and dignified adult fashion.

Respect is key.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:34 PM
 
9,912 posts, read 10,565,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mishigas73 View Post
Yup, that's the difficulty. I never thought I'd really appreciate my boyfriend's in-your-face-this-is-why-I'm-ticked attitude, but after reading this, it doesn't seem so bad after all.
Reckon if there's understanding regarding how you each deal with confrontation and conflict and acceptance that you both have different styles AND respect for each other regardless, it's all good.

My current partner might take some time to mull over something or he might be very up front and wish to discuss something as it happens. I'm the same I guess. As long as we never go to bed on an argument or the last thing we say to each other before parting isn't said in anger, I'm happy to roll with it. AND that would apply not just to my SO relationship but with family and friends also.
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Old 08-05-2009, 08:40 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 66,303,950 times
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Sometimes I no longer feel like talking to some people because I've come to the conclusion they've disappointed me. I don't consider it a silent treatment. It just means it's over between us - that's all. When you have to be around them, you exchange a few words occasionally because there's no way around it. When you don't have to be around them, that's it.
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Houston, TX
16,941 posts, read 21,390,362 times
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The one time I almost brought the hand to someone I was dating was because of this. But I gave myself a timeout, and thought if she is this immature, I should look elsewhere. So I stopped seeing her.
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:21 AM
 
18,743 posts, read 19,257,852 times
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Red flag
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:41 AM
 
9,619 posts, read 9,087,091 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by moonshadow View Post
I hate it with a passion. I find it incredibly distressing.

If someone is really angry and not able to form a coherant sentence while they ride out their anger then a short sentence saying something like, "I need to cool off and I'll come back to this conversation" is fine by me.

BUT crack it and don't talk to me for days in some pathetic attempt to gain the upper hand and I'm so outta there.
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:42 AM
 
9,619 posts, read 9,087,091 times
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:43 AM
 
9,912 posts, read 10,565,087 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by funymann View Post
What's the problem?
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