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Old 08-06-2009, 04:18 PM
 
Location: southern california
48,045 posts, read 43,607,131 times
Reputation: 38827
they already know why you are displeased and silent. they want you to tell them their behavior is ok.
dont do it.
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Old 08-06-2009, 04:22 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,104,923 times
Reputation: 7224
The Silent Treatment - A severe form of abuse

http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/

These websites address the silent treatment that so many seem to be in favor of...
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
10,913 posts, read 8,684,430 times
Reputation: 13877
Default When talking fails......

Instinctively, I know that at some stage in someone's life they're simply not going to change no matter what. Yes, they might change only temporarily, if faced with a loss, but before long the old behavior reappears again.

Perhaps you've talked and talked and talked, but nothing changes. Repeatedly, it's an exercise in futility.

So then you try another tactic, the silent treatment, hoping and praying this tactic is more effective.

No changes, it's time to move on.
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,851 posts, read 51,405,770 times
Reputation: 22717
Silent treatment is still way better than literally shutting people up.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:00 PM
 
13,481 posts, read 21,556,569 times
Reputation: 9775
I know my XH's grandfather didn't speak to his wife for a year. She never knew what she did wrong.

I wonder if that is genetic?

Personally I would rather have it out at least once it is out you can deal with it.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:02 PM
 
2,023 posts, read 3,349,900 times
Reputation: 1545
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
I know my XH's grandfather didn't speak to his wife for a year. She never knew what she did wrong. I wonder if that is genetic?


I don't know if it's genetic, but I do believe in the "nurture" part of things. Did this happen to you?
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:05 PM
 
13,481 posts, read 21,556,569 times
Reputation: 9775
Yep.. just not as bad as the grandparents.
__________________
"
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
Robert Louis Stevenson

********************************
Post link not copyrighted material
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:08 PM
 
2,023 posts, read 3,349,900 times
Reputation: 1545
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
Yep.. just not as bad as the grandparents.
I'm not a psychologist, nor do I play one on TV, but my guess is that he saw this as a legitimate way to deal with issues, by learning it from the family.

You're right though, I'd rather have it out once, so at least you know what you're dealing with.

I've been accused of "not talking" when I probably should, but hell if I could keep my mouth shut for an hour, let alone a year. That's really sick.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:18 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 32,384,892 times
Reputation: 6671
What do you mean so many? Most people disagree with it and don't like it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
The Silent Treatment - A severe form of abuse

http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/

These websites address the silent treatment that so many seem to be in favor of...
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:20 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,104,923 times
Reputation: 7224
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
What do you mean so many? Most people disagree with it and don't like it.
I misspoke...you are right after I read the posts again.
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