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Old 08-06-2009, 04:18 PM
 
Location: southern california
52,823 posts, read 59,983,662 times
Reputation: 44584

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they already know why you are displeased and silent. they want you to tell them their behavior is ok.
dont do it.
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Old 08-06-2009, 04:22 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 20,150,256 times
Reputation: 7301
The Silent Treatment - A severe form of abuse

http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/

These websites address the silent treatment that so many seem to be in favor of...
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Conservative Las Vegas
13,938 posts, read 14,527,369 times
Reputation: 18197
Default When talking fails......

Instinctively, I know that at some stage in someone's life they're simply not going to change no matter what. Yes, they might change only temporarily, if faced with a loss, but before long the old behavior reappears again.

Perhaps you've talked and talked and talked, but nothing changes. Repeatedly, it's an exercise in futility.

So then you try another tactic, the silent treatment, hoping and praying this tactic is more effective.

No changes, it's time to move on.
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 66,228,226 times
Reputation: 22814
Silent treatment is still way better than literally shutting people up.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:00 PM
 
13,774 posts, read 28,237,771 times
Reputation: 10358
I know my XH's grandfather didn't speak to his wife for a year. She never knew what she did wrong.

I wonder if that is genetic?

Personally I would rather have it out at least once it is out you can deal with it.
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You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:02 PM
 
4,096 posts, read 4,825,372 times
Reputation: 4151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
I know my XH's grandfather didn't speak to his wife for a year. She never knew what she did wrong. I wonder if that is genetic?


I don't know if it's genetic, but I do believe in the "nurture" part of things. Did this happen to you?
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:05 PM
 
13,774 posts, read 28,237,771 times
Reputation: 10358
Yep.. just not as bad as the grandparents.
__________________
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You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
Robert Louis Stevenson

********************************
Post link not copyrighted material
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:08 PM
 
4,096 posts, read 4,825,372 times
Reputation: 4151
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
Yep.. just not as bad as the grandparents.
I'm not a psychologist, nor do I play one on TV, but my guess is that he saw this as a legitimate way to deal with issues, by learning it from the family.

You're right though, I'd rather have it out once, so at least you know what you're dealing with.

I've been accused of "not talking" when I probably should, but hell if I could keep my mouth shut for an hour, let alone a year. That's really sick.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:18 PM
 
25,167 posts, read 40,964,137 times
Reputation: 6832
What do you mean so many? Most people disagree with it and don't like it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
The Silent Treatment - A severe form of abuse

http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/

These websites address the silent treatment that so many seem to be in favor of...
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:20 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 20,150,256 times
Reputation: 7301
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
What do you mean so many? Most people disagree with it and don't like it.
I misspoke...you are right after I read the posts again.
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