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Old 08-06-2009, 04:18 PM
 
Location: southern california
49,381 posts, read 45,922,973 times
Reputation: 40447
they already know why you are displeased and silent. they want you to tell them their behavior is ok.
dont do it.
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Old 08-06-2009, 04:22 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,644,820 times
Reputation: 7234
The Silent Treatment - A severe form of abuse

http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/

These websites address the silent treatment that so many seem to be in favor of...
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:08 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
11,322 posts, read 9,420,500 times
Reputation: 14470
Default When talking fails......

Instinctively, I know that at some stage in someone's life they're simply not going to change no matter what. Yes, they might change only temporarily, if faced with a loss, but before long the old behavior reappears again.

Perhaps you've talked and talked and talked, but nothing changes. Repeatedly, it's an exercise in futility.

So then you try another tactic, the silent treatment, hoping and praying this tactic is more effective.

No changes, it's time to move on.
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Old 08-06-2009, 07:16 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,846 posts, read 53,424,820 times
Reputation: 22748
Silent treatment is still way better than literally shutting people up.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:00 PM
 
13,546 posts, read 22,462,200 times
Reputation: 9890
I know my XH's grandfather didn't speak to his wife for a year. She never knew what she did wrong.

I wonder if that is genetic?

Personally I would rather have it out at least once it is out you can deal with it.
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You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
Robert Louis Stevenson

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Old 08-06-2009, 08:02 PM
 
2,023 posts, read 3,476,862 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
I know my XH's grandfather didn't speak to his wife for a year. She never knew what she did wrong. I wonder if that is genetic?


I don't know if it's genetic, but I do believe in the "nurture" part of things. Did this happen to you?
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:05 PM
 
13,546 posts, read 22,462,200 times
Reputation: 9890
Yep.. just not as bad as the grandparents.
__________________
"
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long before any of us.
Robert Louis Stevenson

********************************
Post link not copyrighted material
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:08 PM
 
2,023 posts, read 3,476,862 times
Reputation: 1547
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
Yep.. just not as bad as the grandparents.
I'm not a psychologist, nor do I play one on TV, but my guess is that he saw this as a legitimate way to deal with issues, by learning it from the family.

You're right though, I'd rather have it out once, so at least you know what you're dealing with.

I've been accused of "not talking" when I probably should, but hell if I could keep my mouth shut for an hour, let alone a year. That's really sick.
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:18 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,568,365 times
Reputation: 6690
What do you mean so many? Most people disagree with it and don't like it.

Quote:
Originally Posted by mrstewart View Post
The Silent Treatment - A severe form of abuse

http://www.kensavage.com/archives/silent-treatment/

These websites address the silent treatment that so many seem to be in favor of...
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Old 08-06-2009, 08:20 PM
 
13,779 posts, read 16,644,820 times
Reputation: 7234
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
What do you mean so many? Most people disagree with it and don't like it.
I misspoke...you are right after I read the posts again.
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