flirting or cheating? (men, hubby, young, family)

[poprocksncoke]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

dont give me no lines..... and keep your hands to yourself....................

HAHAHAHAHA That was funny!!

[SandyCo]

The problem I see here is that every journey begins with a step and ends at a destination. Someone who begins flirting, no matter how innocent it may seem, could end up doing "the nasty" months or even years down the line, cheating when they originally had no intention of cheating, simply because they took that one step. Flirting is fun, and it makes a person feel good. This can lead to a deeper emotional involvement, however, and then you're going astray even if you never physically touch the other person. Yes, there really is such a thing as emotional cheating, Cosmic! If you're spending hours thinking about someone other than your SO or spouse, that takes energy away from your primary relationship, and you are effectively cheating. Does this mean you have to stay locked in a bubble for the rest of your life if you're married or involved, and never interact with the opposite sex? Of course not, but there's a big difference in discussing things on a more impersonal level (how's the weather, how's your family, etc.) vs. flirting. Keeping things impersonal means there's a boundary there. Flirting moves that boundary several feet - probably to a point where your SO/spouse would feel pretty uncomfortable if h/she knew about it, right?

I used to think it was okay to keep in touch with an ex-boyfriend, until the guy I was currently seeing got upset that I was pushing for more of a commitment from him (guy #2, that is - not the ex!). Then I began thinking of how I'd feel if the situation were reversed, and I wouldn't feel comfortable at all (once I got past my knee jerk reaction of, "No one's going to tell me what to do!").

[Miss Blue]

Originally Posted by mainebrokerman

mrshvo, you gave me a chuckle in your last paragraph, flirting NOT of the sexual nature "
i totally understand what you mean, the "intent" of your flirting, totally harmless no sexual overtures, but,,what if its misperceived? what if the interpretation, is different than intent?? what if a guy WANTS it to be beyond playful flirting??then its the guy "fault" for misinterpreting??

welcome to the mans world of sexual harrassment..

Male sexual harrassment?? Want to start a new thread on that one? I say lets do it!!!!!!

[tet tea]

Originally Posted by ontheroad

Flirting - the spice of life!

Cheating - the vice of living!

Too funny OTR

I think flirting is just an attention thing. I find it funny when chickies flirt with my hubby ... makes me feel good because I know he's mine all mine

Cheating on the other hand, is a mind set.

I can't flirt to save my life. As for cheating wouldn't even dip my tootsies into that pond.

[Cosmic]

Originally Posted by elfyum

Well sorry cosmic - seems like EVERYONE disagrees with you! So let's see, does that make you "wrong"? No, but how about if everyone agrees with you? Does that make you "right"? NO!

H,mmmm so it really is a voting thing is it????

So if EVERYONE is absurd, does that make them Right, well not hardly. Could they be Wrong, well could be. But sure if you get absurd and EVERYONE is doing it, them a valid conclusion is EVERYONE is absurd. The reason for it to be discovered.

Originally Posted by SandyCo

The problem I see here is that every journey begins with a step and ends at a destination. Someone who begins flirting, no matter how innocent it may seem, could end up doing "the nasty" months or even years down the line, cheating when they originally had no intention of cheating, simply because they took that one step. Flirting is fun, and it makes a person feel good. This can lead to a deeper emotional involvement, however, and then you're going astray even if you never physically touch the other person. Yes, there really is such a thing as emotional cheating, Cosmic! If you're spending hours thinking about someone other than your SO or spouse, that takes energy away from your primary relationship, and you are effectively cheating. Does this mean you have to stay locked in a bubble for the rest of your life if you're married or involved, and never interact with the opposite sex? Of course not, but there's a big difference in discussing things on a more impersonal level (how's the weather, how's your family, etc.) vs. flirting. Keeping things impersonal means there's a boundary there. Flirting moves that boundary several feet - probably to a point where your SO/spouse would feel pretty uncomfortable if h/she knew about it, right?

I used to think it was okay to keep in touch with an ex-boyfriend, until the guy I was currently seeing got upset that I was pushing for more of a commitment from him (guy #2, that is - not the ex!). Then I began thinking of how I'd feel if the situation were reversed, and I wouldn't feel comfortable at all (once I got past my knee jerk reaction of, "No one's going to tell me what to do!").

Well boy Sandy, not you too. I can not even figure out the mechanics of how this New Theory is supposed to work. Is it like those Arab guys and their ladies? Come on, there aren't even any principles involved. Is Ok, part of the time, with part of the peeps, in part of the situations, unless it is a Sunday that falls on the 21th of the month.

And I get to know the weather and family health of whoever. O' Boy will that be exciting or what????

This is the most absurd theory or so called line of reasoning I have ever heard. Fuzzy definitions made by moral hotshots of questionable history and applied to everyone else. Hey, that probably is going to cause no trouble at all. Sound like too many work places today.

My take this has to be is nothing more than some wacko escalation of the Thought Police doing what they have always done. Emotional cheating where some poor guy has to work at a totally mystery process for hours on end. No wonder nobody is getting any work done. Worse than them doctors on General Hospital. No wonder EVERYONE is so bummed out, they all have that guilt from their lust and flirt with the cafeteria person when they asked "Do you want my hot fries with that" and they then sezs "YES" in a hot lunch time encounter. Yep, they will all go home and confess their emotionals sins to all SO's tonight.

Can you imagine the grief at the gas station. When somebody sezs would you pump me?? Boy, a lot more words are going to have to be put off limits to make this New Theory work. EVERYONE will also need to be "Retrained" in the new methods. Bending over will probably be a Future Crime. The word Tag will become known as the T-Word.

But not to fear, the weather is still in bounds, least for now.

I did like that part about energy in your primary relationship tho. Jees once a guy expends all that energy dodging sins all day, how is he to have any energy left? I would require a very, very long nap to attempt to recover from all the mental drain of avoiding the unavoidable. I am taking my Bible with me on every trip out of the house in future.

Nobody sezs the mechanics of New Theory would be easy. I probably need to be retrained.

[poprocksncoke]

For ME, I see it like this
I flirt, and its just my personality. Always has been, prolly always will be. But its innocent, and nothing would ever come by it. My husband knew it from the beginning and just accepts it now.

Cheating is cheating. Plain and simple. You can emotionally cheat, just as easy as physically cheat. Do I think flirting is cheating, no... but that's just for me. Everyone takes that word... "flirting" in their own way.

[mainebrokerman]

Originally Posted by blue62

Male sexual harrassment?? Want to start a new thread on that one? I say lets do it!!!!!!

blue,,your swinging the wrong way on this one, the point i was trying to get across,,was that a female could be a flirt ,,yet no intention of anything more,,however a guy could perceive the female flirting as something more..its intention against perception.

i was just making a point when males did some friendly flirting, with no more intention,,if its perceived as something more,,,then there can be severe consequences of sexual harrassment. this is something females dont have to worry about..men dont get offended,,

male sexual harassment is like a hate crime against a white guy,,it doesnt exist

[mainebrokerman]

Originally Posted by poprocksncoke

For ME, I see it like this
I flirt, and its just my personality. Always has been, prolly always will be. But its innocent, and nothing would ever come by it. My husband knew it from the beginning and just accepts it now.

Cheating is cheating. Plain and simple. You can emotionally cheat, just as easy as physically cheat. Do I think flirting is cheating, no... but that's just for me. Everyone takes that word... "flirting" in their own way.

now pop,,,usually most affairs start out with "harmless" flirting,,next thing you know, your in a motel room,,naked and in handcuffs....this hasnt happened to you???

[Miss Blue]

mbm: Ido believe that male sexual harrassment exists..I have read about cases in which a man sued and won! Its not a hate crime..I think in this day and age there may be some women out there who are guilty of sexual harrassment. If a woman wants to commit a hate crime against a man, she will find another sinister way than sexual harrassment..Have you ever seen "The burning Bed" with Farrah Fawcett? Thats what I call a hate crime.

[mainebrokerman]

Originally Posted by blue62

mbm: Ido believe that male sexual harrassment exists..I have read about cases in which a man sued and won! Its not a hate crime..I think in this day and age there may be some women out there who are guilty of sexual harrassment. If a woman wants to commit a hate crime against a man, she will find another sinister way than sexual harrassment..Have you ever seen "The burning Bed" with Farrah Fawcett? Thats what I call a hate crime.

miss blue, a male won a case of sexual harrassment?? he must have been a blt.
although early in my career, the company wanted more babes in management, and i got passed over twice. i never thought of it as sexual harrassment, but it was based on thier gender (i was more qualified for the positions)
maybe you do have a point.

as far as the burning bed goes, farrah is just a woman that cant be satisfied, she had a six million dollar man,,and it wasnt enough!!