i was cheated on..I feel so betrayed and hurt, anyone can help me:( (girls, therapy)

[Huckleberry3911948]

not moving on is much much worse.
get some help counseling and support group and figure out why this is happening.
i get it too attract them like flies to honey.

[JeepGirl118]

I remember ya! ~ I'm sorry that it did not turn out - but in all honesty, you have to look at it from the perspective that *he was just practice for the right one!* Because in essence, that IS all he is/was. It's been done to me and some of my friends - both male and female. . . but I can promise you that not every man is a liar/cheat, there are still a lot of good men left.

[bbrian12]

most guys AND girls are cheaters
they all think they can get away with it or the grass is greener on the other side
it really is a shame cause there are a few of us out there that are faithful and we are usually the ones that get cheated on

[dragonfly0428]

Originally Posted by cricket_factor

Do something nice for yourself right now. Eat something fattening, call someone, go to the library or the bookstore and get a book on surviving a broken heart. Or go over to a friend's house. Do you have a bike to ride? Punching bag (belong to a gym). Cry a lot, it seems to help.

Or go to the grocery store and buy a dozen eggs and go throw them some place at something where people can't see you, just to relieve stress. (I am not meaning your ex's car).

You will get through this.

This is GREAT advice, for now. You are going to go through so many emotions - hurt, anger, self-pity, low self-esteem. First, know HE made the decision to do this - you had nothing to do with it. Real grown up people end relationships before they start new ones. Obviously, he hasn't grown up, and never thought about anyone but himself.

Second, everything you've found out - where they went together, what they did - is going to slap you hard and very unexpectedly. You can't get away from it, you just have to hope that it lessens every day.

Pat yourself on the back for breaking up with him and STICK TO IT! Don't let him contact you and don't try to contact him. He will try to lie his way out of what happened or worse - try to reconnect with you again. DON'T DO IT! He knows all of your buttons! If you respond to crying, he'll cry. If you respond to kindness, he'll be sweet.

Just move on and take one day at a time. Not all guys are like him, but you aren't going to take that as fact for a long time. Your rose-colored galsses are tarnished, and you're going to be looking through them. Sooner or later, you'll take them off and see the world (and relationships) as they really are.

Again, do what you need to do for yourself to feel better. Have a pizza - all to yourself. Go out with friends you've been neglecting because you've been with him. Move to another place if everything haunts you. But from now on, just think of YOUR wants and needs.

[DennyCrane]

alohaha,

As someone who's been cheated on, I know what you're going through. It's one of the most painful things you can go through. I have no sympathy for anyone who cheats because it takes a cruel and heartless person to hurt someone else in that way. What you're feeling now isn't hard to guess. You wonder how someone could do such a thing. You wonder what you ever did to deserve it. You wonder how you could be so wrong about someone. You wonder what it says about you. And you even start to wonder about everyone else and if anyone else is truly trustworthy.

In a way, my experience was a positive thing. First, it forced me to be more careful about who I trust and to take my time really getting to know someone. Second, it made me appreciate the "good ones" that are out there. And third, it made me less tolerant of people who treat me badly. Too often, we're told to forgive. But the danger in being so forgiving is that people take advantage of you.

You'll bounce back from this. It took me a long time, but I did. I know you can too.

[At1WithNature]

You sound young, just understnad that everything heals in time. You'll actually grow from this and gain a lot of knowledge from it. Imagine if you were 40, 35, or 50 and had your husband cheated on you and you had kids and the whole 9? Wouldn't that suck? At least you got it out the way now.

[hatgirl007]

I'm sorry that happened to you too. Don't beat yourself up. Just think of the behavior and activities so if this scene ever repeats itself you will pick up on the clues much earlier.

This is only one part of your life and you will recover from it. Years from now you will laugh on what you have experienced or should I say overcame. Give yourself some time.
The hardest part is to love someone with the same passion that you did before but it will happen. Don't let him steal your joy and learn not to think every guy will do that to you because they won't.

Time to roll out the Gloria Gaynor music because you will survive.

[AlwaysOnTheBeach]

Watch this video, you can relate- this woman was dumped and depressed (you won't believe it, it's brutal) and then met her husband two weeks later. http://lisadaily.com/datingexperttv/2009/08/dating-coach-video/

[malamute]

Originally Posted by alohaha

i just feel I am punished myself for neglecting all red flags..and I just can't let it go that he cheated on me...

how can a guy act so loving and sweet but in fact is completely a liar? he can be an actor...

i can't believe the fact that he didn't really love me when I look back all the nice things he did to me...

how can I move on? how can I trust guys again? please, I am really tortured now...

He's what they call a player and you were gullibe, you fell into his trap. Now you're older and wiser and you should be able to see through this type from now on.

Just chalk him off as a bad experience, one you'll never have again, because now you know what a player is. Your pride is wounded but you'll heal.

[Stac2007]

Don't take it personally. The guy was a dog. Just be lucky you did not marry the bum. Just let it go and and be lucky he showed his true colors when he did. I know a number of married spouses who cheated on their loved ones and it took months to get divorced.