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I think your standards are too low if this guy seems like a catch to you.
it is too soon for me to see if he is a catch. to be honest, only one guy i ever saw was a good package. i just dont come across singles guys much that seem to be a package.
Nate and I spoke for a week and a half almost every day on the phone due to match. He looked like a good looking, 29 year old guy. He is half Jewish, and half Christian but was raised in a politically conservative home.
We met at Starbucks and our date lasted 3.5 hours (in case you are wondering MIU, how I know how long it was, the second I go into my car, my dashboard lights up the time).
When I first saw him, he looked nothing like his pictures. He had 2 pictures online which he looks like a tan, healthy, young guy. In person he looked like really thin and pale and 10 years older. I was disappointed a little bit in how he looked, but we had great conversation and he was just a nice guy. He told me I looked better in person, and just flirted in the "appropriate" way. The only time I was turned off by him was when I heard his political position. He hates Obama and thinks he is a socialist. He also thinks public healthcare is a mistake, and although he is Jewish, knows no Jews and doesn't identify. It is a bit of a turnoff that he doesn't identify at all with being Jewish as a culture at all. He was baptized, and is a practicing Christian. He also seemed to talk a lot about how his dad would always hit him when he was a kid.
This was the first somewhat long date I have ever had. He told me he would like to see me again and I told him I look forward to his next call. I then texted him telling him I had a really good time seeing him.
I don't know if I see a relationship with this guy, but I definitely see a second date. He was really a sweet guy and a gentleman. He opened doors and actually pulled out my chair for me. I have never had anyone do that.
I see some negatives, but kudos to you for being willing to give it another go. Don't overlook too much. If he seems excessively affected by what he doesn't agree with, it's a bad sign. The deal with his dad beating him as a child (aside from sharing that to such a degree on a first date) is also something to watch closely.
I hope it works out, whatever the comes of it. Good luck!
i was the one that suggested starbucks. again, i really dont like the idea of doing anything beyond a drink or coffee for a first date. i was pretty satisfied with it.
I agree 100%. This is the kind of date I want if I met someone from match.com the first time around. It's an awkward feeling, for me at least, to have someone spend a good amount of money if I don't want to see him again.
I don't think any of us are in any position to judge anything about this "date." If, in talking, this guy mentioned his father beat him up, I don't necessarily think we can come to any conclusions about him at this point. I have known people who suffered this and became very kind, caring people who did not imitate this type of behavior. I also have known people who made it a point to never imitate this behavior.
For me, political differences would be a problem because I wouldn't want to be with someone who had completely opposite views, though James Carville and Mary Matlin (spelling?) seem to have made a success of their marriage.
Last edited by bmwguydc; 08-09-2009 at 11:39 PM..
Reason: Edited quoted text
No. I truly do not believe someone can be both Jewish and Christian at the same time, nor could you be an atheist and a Christian at the same time. You believe either one thing or the other unless you have some split personality.
Jewish people don't believe Jesus was a messiah, they don't believe he's a savior of mankind, Christians do. How can you believe he is and at the same time he isn't the saviour, son of God and all that? If someone is a Christian, it's because they are a baptized Christian because that's what Christians believe but if you're a baptized Christian - then how you can you be Jewish?
Same for being half atheist and half Christian. How can you be both? Or half Jewish and half Muslim?
Leaves me awfully curious about how they are teaching in the private schools that they have for raising children 1/2 Jewish and 1/2 Christian. Specifically for this.
Good beginning dates for me would be a lunch date at a fun and cheap ethnic restaurant. And one in an area that would be interesting to walk around afterwards. And while at lunch, it's a good way to determine if our eating tastes and habits are compatible. And if we get along, we have all afternoon to spend together walking around the area. If we don't, my excuse to leave would be needing to walk my dogs. For beginning dates, I prefer daytime activities without booze.
I'm not a coffee drinker and the few times I've been to Starbucks, the tea was so scalding hot, that it took a very long time cooling down enough for me to drink. And I can't imagine meeting a potential date at a coffee just to chat, especially not for more than 30 minutes. Actually, I met my boyfriend (as a friend) in person for the first time at a Barnes and Noble bookstore. I was passing through his area, it was a good landmark and had tons of free parking. I think that we only sat at the cafe table for about 15 minutes, then moved on to walking around looking at books.
About this guy being 1/2 Jewish and 1/2 Christian, I took it to mean that one parent was Jewish and the other was Christian. And if he was raised in a household that was relaxed about their faith, I think that he wouldn't be a hindrance to having a Jewish wife raising their kids in her faith. He might even be very supportive of that if he admires the way his wife turned out as a person.
Great Post, Yes sitting directly across from someone trying to eat when you are under evaluation is very uncomfortable.
I agree with you, but on the other hand, why not allow your imperfections to show? Sometimes, a belly laugh can be a real ice breaker, and love maker-lol. The belly laugh, that's possible from any number of funny situations, may just be the comic relief needed. Just a thought.
I have always preferred to go to a cafe on the First meet and if things go well you can then go to a restauraunt on the second meeting.
Who you callin cheesie??
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The belly laugh, that's possible from any number of funny situations, may just be the comic relief needed. Just a thought.
