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for women ---attracting good divorce material.
for men a futile pathetic attempt to get their physical needs met, a pill needs to be invented for guys asap.
scientists--- you saved the women, the pill, now save us.
i think looking at this stuff with others on CDF is like looking together at a huge elephant, what each of us describes-- is different-- but never the less a faithful honest discription of what we see from where we are standing.
Last edited by bmwguydc; 08-10-2009 at 03:37 PM..
Reason: Edited quoted text, removed orphaned comment
I would hope so, miu, you are the one who claims you are smack center in a 6 year serious relationship with a man, currently.
You confuse me by your speaking often from a single, non-committed standpoint.
You make very few references to your 6 year relationship that you mentioned thoroughly about in the college thread - not offering advice or the perspective of a woman in one, yet, often as a woman who has been single and searching for quite some time.
So as your being a woman in a 6 year relationship with your boyfriend, how long term should one be with another before marrying? Is your situation for fun or to lead to marriage?
I've been married once before. And my feelings are that I'm not in a rush for another marriage. For me, marriage is important if a couple wants to make babies or buy a house together.
My boyfriend was rather anti-marriage before I met him, however he's not a player or into FWB relationships. We are very comfortable living together and it does feel very permanent to us. We do exchange the L word frequently with each other.
It has been six years, and before that I didn't even want to consider a formal commitment because my past relationship track record was rather consistent with falling out of love with my s/o at the 3 year mark and dumping them by the 5 year mark. So at 6 years, it is looking very good for me in terms of this being the "real thing".
Then there is our fairly large age gap of 23 years. When we first became a couple, he was only 22 years old. Even though right from the beginning, he was certain that he was in true love with me, I wanted to make sure that during his 20's, he wasn't going to grow apart from me. He is now 29 years old, so again getting married sooner would have been rash.
Lastly, in past years, it seemed as if his family and friends were getting married at the rate of one couple a year. This November, his little sister might be tying the knot with her boyfriend. After the dust settles, possibly we might consider getting married finally, but actually neither of us wants a fancy wedding ceremony. Maybe we will elope.
If I talk as if I were a single person, it's because at 50, I've had three other serious relationships and then the single downtime periods between them. And not being married, in a sense I am single. And I've been divorced for so long, I don't ever think of myself as a divorcee.
When I date, I am definitely seeking a long-term, marriage material partner. That's probably why I rarely see someone longer than a month
Dating in itself is not very fun to me, at least not at first. I want someone with whom I click, have grown comfortable, and have the security of commitment. I imagine that's when the fun begins, because you can just relax and enjoy each other.
I can't see the fun in it for the life of me! I'd call it the occasional necessary evil. How can anybody possibly have fun telling his/her life story every few days is beyond me! Sounds like an unusual and cruel punishment!
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I'd call it the occasional necessary evil. How can anybody possibly have fun telling his/her life story every few days is beyond me!
Sounds like an unusual and cruel punishment!
