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Old 08-10-2009, 12:39 PM
 
11,864 posts, read 17,000,344 times
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I just like the companionship sometimes. It goes wherever it goes. I don't want to get married, so I don't think about that aspect of it.

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Old 08-10-2009, 12:48 PM
 
28,895 posts, read 54,153,037 times
Reputation: 46680
Quote:
Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
Is it to find a compatible spouse, or is it simply for fun?
It's both at the same time. Moderator cut: Not necessary

I mean, why on earth would you ever marry somebody that you didn't have fun with?

Good grief, I should start charging for this wisdom.

Last edited by bmwguydc; 08-10-2009 at 03:34 PM.. Reason: Rude
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:52 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,413,299 times
Reputation: 55562
for women ---attracting good divorce material.
for men a futile pathetic attempt to get their physical needs met, a pill needs to be invented for guys asap.
scientists--- you saved the women, the pill, now save us.
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Old 08-10-2009, 12:56 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 3,298,495 times
Reputation: 1086
I think dating is good for both fun and finding a potential partner.
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Old 08-10-2009, 01:09 PM
 
Location: southern california
61,288 posts, read 87,413,299 times
Reputation: 55562
Moderator cut: Edited quoted text

Moderator cut: Orphaned comment

i think looking at this stuff with others on CDF is like looking together at a huge elephant, what each of us describes-- is different-- but never the less a faithful honest discription of what we see from where we are standing.

Last edited by bmwguydc; 08-10-2009 at 03:37 PM.. Reason: Edited quoted text, removed orphaned comment
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Old 08-10-2009, 01:13 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,769 posts, read 40,167,635 times
Reputation: 18106
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
I would hope so, miu, you are the one who claims you are smack center in a 6 year serious relationship with a man, currently.

You confuse me by your speaking often from a single, non-committed standpoint.

You make very few references to your 6 year relationship that you mentioned thoroughly about in the college thread - not offering advice or the perspective of a woman in one, yet, often as a woman who has been single and searching for quite some time.

So as your being a woman in a 6 year relationship with your boyfriend, how long term should one be with another before marrying? Is your situation for fun or to lead to marriage?
I've been married once before. And my feelings are that I'm not in a rush for another marriage. For me, marriage is important if a couple wants to make babies or buy a house together.

My boyfriend was rather anti-marriage before I met him, however he's not a player or into FWB relationships. We are very comfortable living together and it does feel very permanent to us. We do exchange the L word frequently with each other.

It has been six years, and before that I didn't even want to consider a formal commitment because my past relationship track record was rather consistent with falling out of love with my s/o at the 3 year mark and dumping them by the 5 year mark. So at 6 years, it is looking very good for me in terms of this being the "real thing".

Then there is our fairly large age gap of 23 years. When we first became a couple, he was only 22 years old. Even though right from the beginning, he was certain that he was in true love with me, I wanted to make sure that during his 20's, he wasn't going to grow apart from me. He is now 29 years old, so again getting married sooner would have been rash.

Lastly, in past years, it seemed as if his family and friends were getting married at the rate of one couple a year. This November, his little sister might be tying the knot with her boyfriend. After the dust settles, possibly we might consider getting married finally, but actually neither of us wants a fancy wedding ceremony. Maybe we will elope.

If I talk as if I were a single person, it's because at 50, I've had three other serious relationships and then the single downtime periods between them. And not being married, in a sense I am single. And I've been divorced for so long, I don't ever think of myself as a divorcee.
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Old 08-10-2009, 01:25 PM
 
3,486 posts, read 5,684,485 times
Reputation: 3868
Quote:
Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
Is it to find a compatible spouse, or is it simply for fun?

What do you think?

Personally I think it is to find a life-partner that you will marry.
Depends on the person. For me, it was to have fun.
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Old 08-10-2009, 05:11 PM
 
Location: Bon Temps
1,741 posts, read 4,575,770 times
Reputation: 1839
To put it in the simplest terms, I used dating as a means to find a husband. Once I liked somebody I kinda latched on.


Not saying it's what you are supposed to do, just saying that's how I approached it.
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Old 08-10-2009, 05:14 PM
 
Location: CA
3,467 posts, read 8,143,353 times
Reputation: 4841
When I date, I am definitely seeking a long-term, marriage material partner. That's probably why I rarely see someone longer than a month

Dating in itself is not very fun to me, at least not at first. I want someone with whom I click, have grown comfortable, and have the security of commitment. I imagine that's when the fun begins, because you can just relax and enjoy each other.
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Old 08-10-2009, 07:45 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,831 posts, read 88,156,261 times
Reputation: 22814
Quote:
Originally Posted by tvdxer View Post
or is it simply for fun?
I can't see the fun in it for the life of me! I'd call it the occasional necessary evil. How can anybody possibly have fun telling his/her life story every few days is beyond me! Sounds like an unusual and cruel punishment!
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