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Old 08-12-2009, 08:24 AM
 
Location: Sunny SC
4,084 posts, read 9,516,311 times
Reputation: 2355

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I don't mean someone you're dating, I mean someone you have become friends with? I moved to a new area a couple years ago and maybe a year ago met this other women that I was becoming friends with but as I got to know her better I realized she not the type of person I want to hang out with. Neither of us contacted each other for about two or three weeks and then finially she emailed me. I didn't respond. Since then she has called me once, texted me a couple times and emailed me but I haven't answered. I guess she doesn't take a hint and I don't want to be immature about it. How do you tell someone, you just don't like them and don't want to hang out with them? We are both grown women, so it's awkward.
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Old 08-12-2009, 08:26 AM
 
1,860 posts, read 2,592,122 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Rapture View Post
I don't mean someone you're dating, I mean someone you have become friends with? I moved to a new area a couple years ago and maybe a year ago met this other women that I was becoming friends with but as I got to know her better I realized she not the type of person I want to hang out with. Neither of us contacted each other for about two or three weeks and then finially she emailed me. I didn't respond. Since then she has called me once, texted me a couple times and emailed me but I haven't answered. I guess she doesn't take a hint and I don't want to be immature about it. How do you tell someone, you just don't like them and don't want to hang out with them? We are both grown women, so it's awkward.
It's not pleasant when people don't take a hint... because we've all had someone hope that WE took a hint.

I think you should wait a little longer - maybe she will give up.
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Old 08-12-2009, 08:35 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,237 posts, read 26,804,402 times
Reputation: 10592
"I don't want to be around you anymore." By the way, tact isn't my strong suit.
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Old 08-12-2009, 08:39 AM
 
Location: In my skin
8,053 posts, read 9,091,871 times
Reputation: 7911
I'd tell her that I really don't feel we have as much in common as I originally thought and wish her well. If she wants to know why I'll tell her. I'd hate to be the one in her shoes not knowing what I did wrong.
There's really no nice way to dump someone, but choosing a kinder, less emotional route helps.
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Old 08-12-2009, 08:51 AM
 
Location: Between Philadelphia and Allentown, PA
5,078 posts, read 8,753,528 times
Reputation: 3619
Here I go again. Honesty is the best policy - look at it this way, you tell this person no offense but I just would rather not have anything to do with you anymore and yes, maybe that person gets hurt feelings but you never have to see that person again! Those first words are always the hardest but once it's out, it's out! it's best not to "hint around" because everyone has different ideas of perception and perception isn't fact, it's just an idea about something. You have to be honest.
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Old 08-12-2009, 08:53 AM
 
Location: Sunny SC
4,084 posts, read 9,516,311 times
Reputation: 2355
Well that's three different ways to do it! Thanks. I don't want to keep ignoring her because sometimes we travel in the same circles and I may run into her. I don't want to explain myself in front of a group. I would like to just say "I don't want to be around you" but I'm sure she will ask why, so I might as well offer up an explanation from the beginning. I prefer the third option but the reason I don't want to hang out with her is I think she is a mean person. How do I explain that without a problem? I can't say the "in common" thing because she knows that's not true. We both like to do a lot of things, that's why we became friends to begin with.
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Old 08-12-2009, 08:55 AM
 
Location: Sunny SC
4,084 posts, read 9,516,311 times
Reputation: 2355
Quote:
Originally Posted by andreaspercheron View Post
Here I go again. Honesty is the best policy - look at it this way, you tell this person no offense but I just would rather not have anything to do with you anymore and yes, maybe that person gets hurt feelings but you never have to see that person again! Those first words are always the hardest but once it's out, it's out! it's best not to "hint around" because everyone has different ideas of perception and perception isn't fact, it's just an idea about something. You have to be honest.
I want to be honest but do I say, you're mean and I don't like you?
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Old 08-12-2009, 09:03 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
22,143 posts, read 26,279,267 times
Reputation: 22738
It's a very difficult situation but I'd give it more time and continue ignoring her and, if she does manage to reach you personally, just be very politely cool towards her. I'm usually blunt and outspoken but, when I was in a similar dilemma a few years ago, this was the route I chose as there was nothing I could really come up with to say directly. This "friend" didn't DO anything to me, I just didn't LIKE her and the reason why was a muddled combination of a bunch of very minor things.

She did eventually get the message. It's a difficult situation. Good luck!
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Old 08-12-2009, 09:04 AM
 
Location: Jacksonville, FL (Northside)
2,907 posts, read 3,660,956 times
Reputation: 2706
Tell the person straight up. They may be hurt but in the end they'll appreciate the honesty. People grow apart from friendships and relationships
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Old 08-12-2009, 09:12 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
8,867 posts, read 11,076,231 times
Reputation: 16400
Something like that is very hard to approach without someone taking offense. They will either deny it, argue, or start fighting dirty and try to drag your name through the mud within your circle of friends. I would say just keep telling her you have other plans, or you aren't up to doing whatever she's asking you to do. Eventually she'll stop asking. Be cordial and polite, but standoffish so she doesn't get any more warm fuzzies from you.
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