U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 1.5 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Jump to a detailed profile or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Business Search - 14 Million verified businesses
Search for:  near: 
View Poll Results: My opinion on this person is:
He/she is normal. 4 18.18%
He/she is passive aggressive and irritating. No doubt about that one. 4 18.18%
He/she is simply a poor communicator. 8 36.36%
Have no idea. 2 9.09%
Other opinion 4 18.18%
Neutral. The behavior is passive but isn't a problem. 5 22.73%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 22. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
Old 08-14-2009, 09:22 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,158,179 times
Reputation: 6678
Default A person you have to probe in order to get their opinions, thoughts, and feelings.

I have a relative that is almost always withholding and seems to try and spoil conversations. If you ask her of her thoughts, feelings, or opinions on something she will either won't tell you, or will restate the facts. For example: My question: What do you think of the new Latina Judge? Her response: There is in fact a new Latina Judge in Office. Then I will go on asking questions Eg: what is your opinion? Her response: Silence. Or you could do something special for the person and ask "So what did you think of that?" and her response "Nothing much" and in an ungrateful manner. Argh. It is so irritating and this is just how she communicates with any topic.

Last edited by artsyguy; 08-14-2009 at 09:31 PM..
Quick reply to this message

 
Old 08-14-2009, 09:40 PM
 
10,429 posts, read 6,964,540 times
Reputation: 15426
Uh, that's just plain rude, imo.

Maybe she just doesn't like you. I kid, I kid...

Who knows what goes through people's minds.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-14-2009, 11:01 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,158,179 times
Reputation: 6678
She tries to spoil conversations for some reason. lol.

Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
Uh, that's just plain rude, imo.

Maybe she just doesn't like you. I kid, I kid...

Who knows what goes through people's minds.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-14-2009, 11:11 PM
 
Location: Weston, FL
2,822 posts, read 8,677,721 times
Reputation: 1808
Is it possible she doesn't want to engage to avoid any confrontations? Persumably she works? What does she do for a living?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-14-2009, 11:14 PM
 
25,170 posts, read 33,158,179 times
Reputation: 6678
Well she is starting a confrontation by being difficult because she knows the probing is going to continue.

Quote:
Originally Posted by jhlcomp View Post
Is it possible she doesn't want to engage to avoid any confrontations? Persumably she works? What does she do for a living?
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-14-2009, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Ann Arbor, MI
1,712 posts, read 1,423,083 times
Reputation: 1153
I start withdrawing if the conversation lasts too long or if it becomes clear I have nothing in common with the person I'm talking to. It's a huge flaw of mine, but the only thing I can do about it is try to keep the other person talking until I find an opportunity to leave the conversation.

She probably isn't interested in the subjects you're interested in. Have you asked for her interests? You might have to ask this in a vague manner so she's forced to say something other than a yes-no-maybe response. If all else fails, you might have to force some type of reaction out of her by stating something controversial.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-14-2009, 11:17 PM
 
Location: Reno
2,029 posts, read 2,570,235 times
Reputation: 776
i voted for poor communicator. some people just dont really form opinions on things when it is easier just to restate facts to appear that you know what you are talking about. to be honest, id rather hear people restate facts because at least they know somewhat what is happening in the world. i think too many people form opinions when they really know nothing.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-14-2009, 11:18 PM
 
Location: Weston, FL
2,822 posts, read 8,677,721 times
Reputation: 1808
Well look at it this way - who is the one getting upset? Not her. Perhaps it might be best after exchanging pleasantries to speak to someone else. Obviously she doesn't like talking very much or so it seems.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2009, 02:46 AM
 
Location: Norwood, MN
1,828 posts, read 2,287,848 times
Reputation: 846
Quote:
Originally Posted by artsyguy View Post
I have a relative that is almost always withholding and seems to try and spoil conversations. If you ask her of her thoughts, feelings, or opinions on something she will either won't tell you, or will restate the facts. For example: My question: What do you think of the new Latina Judge? Her response: There is in fact a new Latina Judge in Office. Then I will go on asking questions Eg: what is your opinion? Her response: Silence. Or you could do something special for the person and ask "So what did you think of that?" and her response "Nothing much" and in an ungrateful manner. Argh. It is so irritating and this is just how she communicates with any topic.
Some people just cant communicate very well. i had Aspergers when I was younger and had a lot of problems with communication.
Quick reply to this message
 
Old 08-15-2009, 04:35 AM
 
11,001 posts, read 6,835,426 times
Reputation: 8235
I would stop talking to her and when she asks me anything, anything, anything at all, I would tell her to shut the hell up.
Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


 
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:
Over $84,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2014, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25 - Top