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Old 08-16-2009, 10:05 AM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 4,581,487 times
Reputation: 2645

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I'll try to explain my question coherently enough so that I don't get too many weird/angry/passive aggressive responses!

I've met some very successful men in their given career and one thing I've always noticed is that (with the exception of one who's wife is a lawyer) their female counterparts - while always very lovely, engaging, and smart - aren't exactly career driven.

This makes me question whether or not one bustling and powerful career is the limit for a relationship?

Is it possible that successful men don't want to feel threatened by their significant other's career so they choose a girl (or boy, for all you politically correct people out there) that isn't swiftly ascending the career ladder?

Thoughts, opinions, statements - anyone? Bueller?
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:15 AM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,545,504 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
I've met some very successful men in their given career and one thing I've always noticed is that (with the exception of one who's wife is a lawyer) their female counterparts - while always very lovely, engaging, and smart - aren't exactly career driven.
I don't know what crowd you hang around with, but this is generally not the case among people I know. I socialize with many Ph.D's, M.D.'s, lawyers, and business executives. They are often married/partnered to people of similar professional and educational status. There are numerous exceptions, of course, but I would estimate that 3 out of 4 times there are socio-educational similarities.

What I have noticed is that when there is a professional or social imbalance, it is very often along the lines you suggested (i.e. high powered guy, gal with more modest accomplishments), the couple is rather traditionalistic, and, politically speaking, often conservative. But, again, I can think of exceptions to this rule, too.
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Old 08-16-2009, 10:48 AM
 
Location: Wherever women are
19,020 posts, read 26,053,332 times
Reputation: 11309
Quote:
Originally Posted by professorsenator View Post
I socialize with many Ph.D's, M.D.'s, lawyers, and business executives. They are often married/partnered to people of similar professional and educational status.
Yep, both work 60 hour weeks and shag in one or the other's office elevator, for lack of time

They'll generally block an outlook calendar item for this, based on that week's schedule which must be up to date.

One of them will bring an agenda for the meeting:
1. After 9pm, remote, dim-lighted elevator.
2. Slightly undress
3. Foreplay
4. Condom checkpoint
5. Maska Chaska
6. Napkins for sweat and the rest
7. Dress up
8. Closure

One of them will later on document the minutes of meeting and upload the document into sharepoint or collaboration space portals
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:02 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 89,902,089 times
Reputation: 39935
Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
I'll try to explain my question coherently enough so that I don't get too many weird/angry/passive aggressive responses!

I've met some very successful men in their given career and one thing I've always noticed is that (with the exception of one who's wife is a lawyer) their female counterparts - while always very lovely, engaging, and smart - aren't exactly career driven.

This makes me question whether or not one bustling and powerful career is the limit for a relationship?

Is it possible that successful men don't want to feel threatened by their significant other's career so they choose a girl (or boy, for all you politically correct people out there) that isn't swiftly ascending the career ladder?

Thoughts, opinions, statements - anyone? Bueller?

If being "career driven" is the be all and end all measure of success, we are all in trouble in this society

The smart individual realizes the value of a partner who COMPLEMENTS them, not COMPETES with them.
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:12 AM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 4,581,487 times
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Professorsenator: You make a great point with the conservative comment! The crowd I've been exposed to is generally on the older side of the spectrum so they may have been raised more old fashioned as well - maybe not.

Antlered: You forgot the shooting of emails off a blackberry!!

LovesMountains: I was simply making an observation (and a fairly brief one at that! Just curious to hear other people's thoughts since many have much more experiences and wisdom than me), not implying a statement.
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:15 AM
 
Location: southern california
57,166 posts, read 76,145,601 times
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women like to marry up, the explanation is painfully clear if you spend a day in family court.
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:17 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 89,902,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mango tango View Post
Professorsenator: You make a great point with the conservative comment! The crowd I've been exposed to is generally on the older side of the spectrum so they may have been raised more old fashioned as well - maybe not.

Antlered: You forgot the shooting of emails off a blackberry!!

LovesMountains: I was simply making an observation (and a fairly brief one at that! Just curious to hear other people's thoughts since many have much more experiences and wisdom than me), not implying a statement.
And I was simply responding to your question

Two equally matched "successful" career individuals do not a succussful marriage always make. Sure it happens, but with some added stresses to the relationship.

Again, a smart "career" individual realizes her/his need for a mate to complement their strengths, not be identical to them.
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:18 AM
 
2,190 posts, read 7,027,370 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by professorsenator View Post
Ph.D's, M.D.'s, lawyers, and business executives. They are often married/partnered to people of similar professional and educational status.
I witnessed some major differences. I do see this when Dr/lawyers have their own practices, but I've hospital surgeons, business execs and even successful high-management non-executives tend not to favor their mates status and concentrate on looks or more of a house wife.
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Old 08-16-2009, 11:23 AM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,269 posts, read 89,902,089 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
women like to marry up, the explanation is painfully clear if you spend a day in family court.
Moderator cut: Personal attack

The fact that women "marry up" is a direct consequence of the days when only men were allowed to have an education and make a career for themselves without restrictions.

Women traditionally have had very little opportunity to "be all they can be". This only began changing in the very recent past. So, "marrying up" was what a woman had to do to pull herself up to the financial advantages of men in most cases. This doesn't make women evil for pete's sake - it just is what it is.

Last edited by bmwguydc; 08-16-2009 at 04:40 PM.. Reason: Personal attack
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Old 08-16-2009, 12:40 PM
 
Location: The Mango Tree
2,115 posts, read 4,581,487 times
Reputation: 2645
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
And I was simply responding to your question

Two equally matched "successful" career individuals do not a succussful marriage always make. Sure it happens, but with some added stresses to the relationship.

Again, a smart "career" individual realizes her/his need for a mate to complement their strengths, not be identical to them.
This is exactly what I was wondering about. . . if one person needs another person to balance them out and therefore doesn't go for the male/female version of themselves.
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