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Old 08-16-2009, 12:52 PM
 
283 posts, read 850,223 times
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How do you know if you are asking too many dumb questions in a relationship, especially a new one. I think communication is important but how do you get over having so many doubts (within yourself) and having to ask the other person "is everything ok" etc. ? Does this kill the relationship in the long run?
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Old 08-16-2009, 12:56 PM
 
25,163 posts, read 49,033,183 times
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Conversation can be bad.
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Old 08-16-2009, 12:56 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 4,269,273 times
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Try to keep the talking to a 50/50 distribution. If one party is doing most of the talking thats a sign of lack of interest, boredom, or inconsideration.
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Old 08-16-2009, 12:59 PM
 
283 posts, read 850,223 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason28 View Post
Try to keep the talking to a 50/50 distribution. If one party is doing most of the talking thats a sign of lack of interest, boredom, or inconsideration.
I like this, glad to see you are feeling like talking about things today (j/k)
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Old 08-16-2009, 01:01 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 35,864,529 times
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Talking too much is one of those #1 issues I hear from male friends about ex's or females they know.

I think you should talk as much as the person talks. Guys usually speak in words a lot less than women.
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Old 08-16-2009, 03:57 PM
 
Location: Houston
302 posts, read 790,516 times
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Silence can be golden. If you are asking "is everything okay" every 5 minutes, I would get pretty irritated with you.
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Old 08-16-2009, 03:59 PM
 
Location: Fort Bend County
2,536 posts, read 5,158,136 times
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I agree w/ the poster who said keep talking level to 50/50...silence is good sometimes, it shows that you are comfortable enough w/ each other NOT to talk...

One of my fave quotes is: God gave us 2 ears & 1 mouth so we could listen twice as much as we speak...

Good luck!
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Old 08-16-2009, 04:08 PM
 
Location: Orlando, FL
12,228 posts, read 16,436,126 times
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I often tell people when I meet them "If I talk too much just tell me to shut up because if you don't I'll fill every second moment with random conversation." I don't believe in comfortable silences. LOL

When my boyfriend and I had done "it" for the first time there was a moment of silence afterward (after he caught his breath and stopped praising my super human skills) and I was trying to think of something to say. He turns and says "You know, if I throw a handful of quarters at you as hard as I can it will probably hurt. Have you ever wondered how Scrouge McDuck was able to jump into and swim around in a roomful of coins" I knew right then we were meant to be together; it is not everyday that you find a man who can hold a conversation about nothing
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Old 08-16-2009, 04:21 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,629 posts, read 2,411,432 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Andreams View Post
Silence can be golden. If you are asking "is everything okay" every 5 minutes, I would get pretty irritated with you.
Don't let sexism blind you, guys. I LITERALLY had a date with a very attractive guy who would not stop asking me if I was having a good time. Dozens of times over the course of the evening! It was mildly annoying at first and then became creepy! His insecurity became suffocating. It became obvious that he NEEDED me to affirm him or he would be jacked up for the rest of the night. A co-dependent nightmare in the making! If only he hadn't been that way I could have at least gotten a kiss. He was so scary I didn't dare as he might have become a freakin' stalker!

Quote:
Originally Posted by msboom
how do you get over having so many doubts (within yourself)
That's your problem. No, no, I'm not restating the obvious. I'm saying it's your responsibility to build your self esteem. Once it is built you won't have the desire to ask every five minutes if they're having a good time. You'll leave it to them to go out again or not and your self esteem won't hinge on their choice. Try doing things that make you feel proud of yourself. It will boost you and others will praise you for it. That feeling should carry over to other parts of your life!
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Old 08-16-2009, 04:46 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,837 posts, read 80,102,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by natalayjones View Post
I often tell people when I meet them "If I talk too much just tell me to shut up because if you don't I'll fill every second moment with random conversation." I don't believe in comfortable silences. LOL

When my boyfriend and I had done "it" for the first time there was a moment of silence afterward (after he caught his breath and stopped praising my super human skills) and I was trying to think of something to say. He turns and says "You know, if I throw a handful of quarters at you as hard as I can it will probably hurt. Have you ever wondered how Scrouge McDuck was able to jump into and swim around in a roomful of coins" I knew right then we were meant to be together; it is not everyday that you find a man who can hold a conversation about nothing
Wow, dear, I swear I'd wanna strangle ya in real life!
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