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Oh well, it doesn't matter. I'm very glad that I'm not into the college scene.
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Originally Posted by 2mares
True. And after graduation ppl move on to different schools for their masters and phd or relocate to find work, so investing in a serious relationship at that time creates complications later on.
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Originally Posted by floridadreamer
I think the fact is a lot of people in college really aren't able to focus the energy on a relationship and be able to get decent grades. There's always sooo much going on- road trips, parties, as well as classes and finals!! To be frank, I'd rather someone be honest with me and wait until they were ready.
How do you figure two people that want the same thing, have an agreement to achieve the same thing and are both satisfyed with the arrangement is "using". I thought using was when one person is getting what they want at the expense of the other.
If people were honest about it, this is never the case. One person is always hoping for more, no matter what they "agreed" to.
If people were honest about it, this is never the case. One person is always hoping for more, no matter what they "agreed" to.
I don't think one person is ALWAYS hoping for more. But I do think it's common for one person to eventually want more. And sometimes, they don't realize they've developed feelings for their FWB until that person decides they want to end it or start dating someone else. But too many people, especially young people, can completely detach their feelings from sex. I can only wonder what happens to them later on in life. Will they ever be able to actually "make love" to someone or will sex always be something detached from feelings?
They will never be able to make love. There is an article out there on the internet that discusses the implications of casual sex and how it permanently decreases or eliminates your ability to bond during sex or in a relationship. These casual sex and FWB type of people never change. The challenge for us non-casual sex people is to sift out the FWB types and the ones with the ability to bond during sex and sustain a meaningful relationship.
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Originally Posted by DennyCrane
I can only wonder what happens to them later on in life. Will they ever be able to actually "make love" to someone or will sex always be something detached from feelings?
But too many people, especially young people, can completely detach their feelings from sex. I can only wonder what happens to them later on in life. Will they ever be able to actually "make love" to someone or will sex always be something detached from feelings?
Believe it or not, there are a lot of married people that do exactly that. Sorry to say I was one of them.. And yes, when the right person comes along, they will be able to "make love", probably like a teenager who's never actually experienced the "real thing" before. Still, it doesn't hurt to practice.
I think some posters have the misconception that everybody could have a fulfilling realtionship and it would just take hard work, willingness, honesty. It's like saying that everybody really wants children deep down. You may want it to be that simple and true but you shouldn't discount the fact that people don't have the same wants and needs. Relationships aren't the end all be all, they are just on part of a person's life. We aren't all raised the same way with the same personalities. There's endless variations. So if both parties are happy what's the problem? It's just when there's dishonesty between them or dishonesty with self that there's a problem.
If I had a FWB, I wouldn't want to advertise it. Cus I know the mentality of someone that has never had the desire for a FWB. If I had a FWB, I would say " Do as I say, not as I do". Because I would want a man to be true to his feelings and not be giving himself to anybody that passed in front of him because he wants to have sex. I admire people that say " I haven't had sex in 7 years, etc.". It lets me see they have dominion over their impulses and don't go along with the crowd just to have a good time. But I do understand the reality of FWB, and can't be so high and mighty that I will judge those that do. But I mean, its not preety to watch.
Believe it or not, there are a lot of married people that do exactly that. Sorry to say I was one of them.. And yes, when the right person comes along, they will be able to "make love", probably like a teenager who's never actually experienced the "real thing" before. Still, it doesn't hurt to practice.
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Originally Posted by Ticatica
I think some posters have the misconception that everybody could have a fulfilling realtionship and it would just take hard work, willingness, honesty. It's like saying that everybody really wants children deep down. You may want it to be that simple and true but you shouldn't discount the fact that people don't have the same wants and needs. Relationships aren't the end all be all, they are just on part of a person's life. We aren't all raised the same way with the same personalities. There's endless variations. So if both parties are happy what's the problem? It's just when there's dishonesty between them or dishonesty with self that there's a problem.
I agree. It's unreasonable to think that we are always the same way, with the same mindset, all of our lives. We evolve (or devolve, in some cases) as we mature. We are products of our experiences. There are reasons some people cannot or will not commit, for a time or for a lifetime. It may be wrong in some cases, but not in every case. There is no guarantee a person will remain this way forever, just as there is no guarantee that someone will always embrace commitment.
They will never be able to make love. There is an article out there on the internet that discusses the implications of casual sex and how it permanently decreases or eliminates your ability to bond during sex or in a relationship. These casual sex and FWB type of people never change.
Oh, horse hocky. Just because one is not in a LTR or otherwise committed dosent mean they dont bond or that they dont "make love". I've been married twice, had two live-ins, dated, FWBs, and booty calls. There are always feeling, from plain chemical attraction to love.
I admire those who can remain celibate or are satisfied with only masturbation for years because your not comfortable with casual sex, but some of us enjoy a sexual relationship with someone that we are attracted to and like but realize that a LTR would never work so its all good until we are ready for that commitment. It does not make us cold permanent emotional black holes.
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