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some of us enjoy a sexual relationship with someone that we are attracted to and like but realize that a LTR would never work so its all good until we are ready for that commitment. It does not make us cold permanent emotional black holes.
Maybe not, but what does it make you if you know that other person is attracted to you as well? The danger with FWB relationships is that people can develop feelings. People can enter into them and tell themselves it'll never happen. I've met women who I was attracted to both physically as well as emotionally. But I knew that things would never work out with them. I had the option to just be a FWB to them, but I chose not to because I knew it would just be more painful later on. In order for a FWB relationship to work, it really does have to be "just sex."
Maybe not, but what does it make you if you know that other person is attracted to you as well? The danger with FWB relationships is that people can develop feelings. People can enter into them and tell themselves it'll never happen. I've met women who I was attracted to both physically as well as emotionally. But I knew that things would never work out with them. I had the option to just be a FWB to them, but I chose not to because I knew it would just be more painful later on. In order for a FWB relationship to work, it really does have to be "just sex."
People need to think responsibly in these situations. You know yourself, you chose to avoid it. Others are just not in that same place you are. If they can find someone of like mind, all is good.
If you know someone is falling for you and you continue on with the relationship when you don't feel the same way, then you would be in the wrong. However, some people go into these relationships knowing what the rules are, fall in love and DON'T express it because they know what the rules are. Who is at fault when they get hurt? In reality, no one. You can't help how you feel (or don't feel) as much as you can't walk away from a problem you don't know exists. But we are ultimately responsible for our decisions to stay or leave, in that particular scenario.
By definition, the FWB is sex among friends. It can't be "just sex" and be a friendship with benefits. The controversy begins when people confuse it for an emotionless booty call or try to project vanilla values upon it. I have had two such relationships. My experiences alone prove that it is not an empty and selfish pursuit. How many of us say we want to be with someone who will also be our best friend? So, how inconceivable would it be to become intimate with a friend if the elements of attraction and trust are in place?
Too often, people criticize what they don't think is possible because they haven't experienced it. To take it even further, they'll dismiss the possibility because they are not capable of it. That doesn't make them better people, it makes them different. I'm personally thankful we are not all the same.
Maybe not, but what does it make you if you know that other person is attracted to you as well? The danger with FWB relationships is that people can develop feelings. People can enter into them and tell themselves it'll never happen. I've met women who I was attracted to both physically as well as emotionally. But I knew that things would never work out with them. I had the option to just be a FWB to them, but I chose not to because I knew it would just be more painful later on. In order for a FWB relationship to work, it really does have to be "just sex."
PTC
Thanks for your response to the above, you expressed my thoughts as well.
I would like to add that I have seen more situations where someone is hurt because they are lead to believe it is a gf/bf relationship but one is actually using the other for sex.
I have also had a couple instances that a guy was interested in me and I let him know I had no interest, but he would continue to persue me anyway. It wasnt pretty. So people have the potential to get hurt in all relationships. At least with FWBs expectations are straight forward.
PTC
Thanks for your response to the above, you expressed my thoughts as well.
I would like to add that I have seen more situations where someone is hurt because they are lead to believe it is a gf/bf relationship but one is actually using the other for sex.
I have also had a couple instances that a guy was interested in me and I let him know I had no interest, but he would continue to persue me anyway. It wasnt pretty. So people have the potential to get hurt in all relationships. At least with FWBs expectations are straight forward.
Relationships can be complicated in general. That's why I kinda chuckle when people try to paint it black and white for everyone. It's just not realistic.
Relationships can be complicated in general. That's why I kinda chuckle when people try to paint it black and white for everyone. It's just not realistic.
Well when you treat it like a gray area, you don't get to be quite as judgemental, you see?
FWB works for some, not for others. Open communication, honesty, and knowing yourself and what you can handle goes a long way to the success or failure of any relationship, whether it's long term, short term or FWB. There is no one blue print that applies to everyone.
Well when you treat it like a gray area, you don't get to be quite as judgemental, you see?
Not sure what you mean. As judgmental as the others here? You're right, I'm not.
I know it's not black and white, I also know it's not gray. So, I don't treat it as such. Sorry if I misled.
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