Gender roles (wives, women, single, husband)

[MAtheBanker]

We all know how gender roles used to be: The husband works to support his wife and children. The wife stays home and cooks, cleans, and teaches the children. The wife is expected to be one thing and the husband to be another.

Now that society has changed and for most couples the traditional family is no longer realistic, what kind of gender roles do YOU currently practice or would like to practice once your partner comes along?

Do the guys in here have a problem with their wife working and sending the kids to daycare, or does your wife work and you stay home? I'm curious to see how many different ways these gender roles have shifted through the years.

[le roi]

As far as I am concerned, it is mainly women who worry about gender roles.

I plan to work for a very long time, because I need money to survive. Other than that I do not care, I'll deal with these problems as they come.

[the minx]

I do everything.

[DennyCrane]

I don't care for traditional gender roles and would much rather have an equal partner. I'd want my partner to work because I think it's very difficult to survive these days on one income. As for household and child-rearing responsibilities, I believe those should be shared equally. I have no problem cooking, cleaning, helping with kids, etc. and would never delegate those to my partner.

[Coolhand68]

I once had an ex who offered to have me move in with her, quit my career, stay home while she worked and she'd even pay my child support. There was no way I could go along with that arrangement. I do not want to loaf around while my S.O. picks up the tab. Eventually that comes into play in an argument, I do not want to be a kept man, especially because of finances. As it is now, I do everything myself; my own cooking, laundry, dishes, shopping, trash, and other things that need fixing or attention around the house. I'm the one who helps my daughter with her homework and attends teacher/parent meetings. I put in a 45 hour week, then come home and I'm on the go until about 8PM. It's like having a roommate instead of a spouse, and this was long before things went south between us. At least when I'm on my own again it won't be too much of a transition, I've already been taking care of myself and then some. So to answer your question, no I don't have an issue with gender roles but being the man I am I couldn't be someone's "wife" and stay home while she worked all day. Nothing against anyone who does but it wouldn't be for me. Also, if one person is working full time, and the other is working part time or staying home, the one who stays home should be doing a bulk of the household chores. It's only fair.

[wilsonmom3]

He worked full time and I worked part time, so I took care of the house and kids much more so than he did...however, even during the times when he did not work (looking for a job when we moved etc.) I still did the majority of the housework and childcare, although he would cook some. I think the gender roles changing in todays society means that the wife now has to work AND keep the kids and house up.

[MAtheBanker]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

I don't care for traditional gender roles and would much rather have an equal partner. I'd want my partner to work because I think it's very difficult to survive these days on one income. As for household and child-rearing responsibilities, I believe those should be shared equally. I have no problem cooking, cleaning, helping with kids, etc. and would never delegate those to my partner.

Now THAT I respect

[Oildog]

Originally Posted by DennyCrane

I don't care for traditional gender roles and would much rather have an equal partner. I'd want my partner to work because I think it's very difficult to survive these days on one income. As for household and child-rearing responsibilities, I believe those should be shared equally. I have no problem cooking, cleaning, helping with kids, etc. and would never delegate those to my partner.

I'd agree with this, although Id be willing to trade the cleaning and do most of the cooking.

[Redisca]

Originally Posted by MAtheBanker

We all know how gender roles used to be: The husband works to support his wife and children. The wife stays home and cooks, cleans, and teaches the children. The wife is expected to be one thing and the husband to be another.

Actually, this is incorrect. The gender roles that most people in America today call "traditional" were actually an anomaly from the 1950's and the 1960's. This is actually a very brief period in history when a family could survive on a single income. For the majority of recorded history, women had to work to supplement the family's income. Many women worked from home, it's true, but it was still work that brought in cash.

The truly "traditional" gender roles don't have anything to do with a model where the husband earns all the money and the wife changes all the diapers. Rather, historically, traditional gender roles encompass a double standard where the work performed by one gender is valued less than the work performed by the other. This double standard runs very deep. So even today, you may have men who have no objections to their wives working, indeed, expect their wives to work -- yet still cling to the notion that women's work isn't as important, etc. as the same work done by men. That's what traditional gender roles are really about.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by Oildog

I'd agree with this, although Id be willing to trade the cleaning and do most of the cooking.

Well, I have absolutely no problem doing the cleaning and would, in fact, prefer to do it. As for the cooking, I'm not a great cook. But I would enjoy cooking with my partner. It can be a lot of fun.