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You're a very private person. That doesn't mean everyone else is as well. Among friends, I think it's okay to dive a little deeper into personal issues, as your friends can offer great (or not so great)advice.
I certainly don't expect people to do as I do. In fact, most I have met don't. I do think we all need someone to confide in and relate to, and that's fine. I'm referring to casual discussion among groups, not one on one with someone you trust.
Quote:
Originally Posted by rubber_factory
My threshold is very low. I try to keep casual topics limited to what the other person (or people) will find appropriate. I am not necessarily bothered by gossip, politics, raunchiness, or just general freakiness.
I'm the same way. Very open to all kinds of discussion, I'm just not that open about myself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Antlered Chamataka
But what if someone opens up their personals with you?
I have always had people who disclose their issues to me, because I guess they quickly find that I'm trustworthy from my behaviour and words
Even two days ago, a person I barely knew at the gym disclosed her divorce issues, and the whole wrangling with cheating and money, in just the second conversation.
There's no denying that I am a good motivational speaker. But there are times when people want someone to "listen".
I'm open to listening and a great motivator as well. I'm just a better confidante than I am a confider. Is "confider" even a word?
I've known too many people who will put your business out there, especially when you are going through a rough patch. People form judgments and before you know it, the truth takes on another form and life of its own. I don't trust people, in general, to think outside of their box, to be deep, rational thinkers. And I don't have the desire to get them to see things from where I stand instead of where they stand. This explains why we only have a handful of real friends.
I certainly don't expect people to do as I do. In fact, most I have met don't. I do think we all need someone to confide in and relate to, and that's fine. I'm referring to casual discussion among groups, not one on one with someone you trust.
I too think the big three are Religion, Politics and Money. Sexual innuendo when done in humor and not focused on a particular person is okay but the same humor won't work in all situations. I don't think anybody is really interested in anybodies personal life. Once I get past a person's status, i.e. Married , three kids, two dogs, I start to drift off. I have always heard that being able to make light conversation is a skill and every one is not necessarily good at it.
Funny you mention that, I ONLY get 45 year-olds who hit on me...and ones named Capt. Dan...
I guess it's ok sometimes to not have people confide in you, you're sometimes dragged into the drama and that I'm not OK with...
Why am I not surprised
Some girls I know presented me a post-mid-life crisis thesis on why men their 40s behave so. I had a good laugh at it, but as I moved around and about, with coworkers in that age group, I just saw it in the flesh, first hand witness.
As we move in a posse, it's these guys who make the first sexist comment on every woman who passes by in the corridor, the restaurants and the coffee shops In my previous job, one guy I know always used the thumb to signal thumbs up and thumbs down at every young female who passed by us.
Some girls I know presented me a post-mid-life crisis thesis on why men their 40s behave so. I had a good laugh at it, but as I moved around and about, with coworkers in that age group, I just saw it in the flesh, first hand witness.
As we move in a posse, it's these guys who make the first sexist comment on every woman who passes by in the corridor, the restaurants and the coffee shops In my previous job, one guy I know always used the thumb to signal thumbs up and thumbs down at every young female who passed by us.
Seriously..
I thought my crowd of 20-somethings was raunchy until getting out into the working world.. married guys in their 40's have some of the dirtiest minds out there, and they aren't afraid to tell the world.
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In my previous job, one guy I know always used the thumb to signal thumbs up and thumbs down at every young female who passed by us.
