Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband's sister's son, age 32 is married with three children age 10,6,4. They live in McHenry county in the Chicago area. The wife is about the same age and has made it clear that the marriage is over. She has never worked since they first met in teens. Did not even learn to drive until a few years ago, when her mother-in-law taught her.
She became involved with a much younger man (Boy) and now is into drinking and drugs. She sometimes stays out all night. The kids are obviously suffering, but still love their mother. Husband was in denial for along time, but realizes the marriage cannot be salvaged.
She has actually left the children at home alone. Father came in and found them.
They own a home, but have no money. She is now finally working as an in- home eldercare person. She is ususally working the night shift.
She wants husband to leave and she keeps the kids and he pays her child support. She can then do as she wishes. He wants her out because of the bad influence she is exhibiting to the kids.
Mother-in-law, my husband's sis has been contributing to their household for many years for the good of the children and sanity of her son. But now, it has come to the point that our nephew is at his wits ends. Wife is just plain nuts. There is no reasoning with her.
He is about to seek a divorce with the help of his mom because he has no money....she does not have much after all this either. We speak all the time and know the history and have offered as much adivse and support as we could. Now it is what to do, how to handle this, what about the kids, who will watch them between dad leaving for work in the morning and getting to school.
He has an attorney, but where does he start? What about the kids, when the mother is truly a **** and druggie. From what my sister-in-law says it is extremely dificult for a father to get the kids in Illinois.
I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband's sister's son, age 32 is married with three children age 10,6,4. They live in McHenry county in the Chicago area. The wife is about the same age and has made it clear that the marriage is over. She has never worked since they first met in teens. Did not even learn to drive until a few years ago, when her mother-in-law taught her.
She became involved with a much younger man (Boy) and now is into drinking and drugs. She sometimes stays out all night. The kids are obviously suffering, but still love their mother. Husband was in denial for along time, but realizes the marriage cannot be salvaged.
She has actually left the children at home alone. Father came in and found them.
They own a home, but have no money. She is now finally working as an in- home eldercare person. She is ususally working the night shift.
She wants husband to leave and she keeps the kids and he pays her child support. She can then do as she wishes. He wants her out because of the bad influence she is exhibiting to the kids.
Mother-in-law, my husband's sis has been contributing to their household for many years for the good of the children and sanity of her son. But now, it has come to the point that our nephew is at his wits ends. Wife is just plain nuts. There is no reasoning with her.
He is about to seek a divorce with the help of his mom because he has no money....she does not have much after all this either. We speak all the time and know the history and have offered as much adivse and support as we could. Now it is what to do, how to handle this, what about the kids, who will watch them between dad leaving for work in the morning and getting to school.
He has an attorney, but where does he start? What about the kids, when the mother is truly a **** and druggie. From what my sister-in-law says it is extremely dificult for a father to get the kids in Illinois.
Drugs are not a good thing she has going for her if it can be proven? I would start there. Rugged
I will try to make this as short as possible. My husband's sister's son, age 32 is married with three children age 10,6,4. They live in McHenry county in the Chicago area. The wife is about the same age and has made it clear that the marriage is over. She has never worked since they first met in teens. Did not even learn to drive until a few years ago, when her mother-in-law taught her.
She became involved with a much younger man (Boy) and now is into drinking and drugs. She sometimes stays out all night. The kids are obviously suffering, but still love their mother. Husband was in denial for along time, but realizes the marriage cannot be salvaged.
She has actually left the children at home alone. Father came in and found them.
They own a home, but have no money. She is now finally working as an in- home eldercare person. She is ususally working the night shift.
She wants husband to leave and she keeps the kids and he pays her child support. She can then do as she wishes. He wants her out because of the bad influence she is exhibiting to the kids.
Mother-in-law, my husband's sis has been contributing to their household for many years for the good of the children and sanity of her son. But now, it has come to the point that our nephew is at his wits ends. Wife is just plain nuts. There is no reasoning with her.
He is about to seek a divorce with the help of his mom because he has no money....she does not have much after all this either. We speak all the time and know the history and have offered as much adivse and support as we could. Now it is what to do, how to handle this, what about the kids, who will watch them between dad leaving for work in the morning and getting to school.
He has an attorney, but where does he start? What about the kids, when the mother is truly a **** and druggie. From what my sister-in-law says it is extremely dificult for a father to get the kids in Illinois.
Rely on the lawyer to guide him thru exactly "what to do" - that's his job and he knows the system. I would advise your nephew to check with the attorney as to whether or not it would be a good idea to hire a private investigator to get some hard evidence on the drug use. If they actually have hard evidence already, then that wouldn't be necessary. But in divorces people accuse each other falsely all the time - no judge will just take his word for it that she is using. IF he can get hard evidence from an independent source like a PI, THEN he would most likely get custody of his kids.
And finally, advise him to do his best to take the high road for his kids sakes. In other words, no trash talking her by ANYONE on his side of the family, no ugly games or fights in front of the kids. He must show his kids that he is sad and sorry that things aren't working out without looking like he is outright blaming her okay?
The number one reason children end up in foster care is because of drug use in the home. Given that, I believe that a drug test could be demanded in a custody hearing.
Courts tend to favor who is the 'primary caretaker.' Meaning who fixes their dinner, does their laundry, takes them to and from school or activities, takes them to the doctor or dentist etc.
Attorneys usually have a PI that they use for purposes such as yours just see if he recommends that. But, knowing someone who did use and independant PI said it cost about $3000.
Moms that use drugs don't get the kids. Have a hair drug test done. You can fake out a pee test.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
