Country girl to city girl. Is it possible? Are we doomed? (wife, long distance)

[OuttaFlorida]

I've been seeing an amazing girl for the past few months. We've really hit it off and hang out on a daily basis. She's 100% country and has all her family down here. I'm moving to DC city life about 4 hours away in a month or 2 for a job offer. Anyone gone from growing up in the country to the big city life successfully? She says she'd consider moving up there after trying a long distance thing for awhile. But, I've recently ended a long term relationship that died due to a move away from family and friends. Is it possible to leave all she knows behind and start a happy life with me in the city? I know there are soooo many other factors to play, but I'd like to hear some other success or failure stories in this regard. Thanks!

[Oildog]

In my experience I think women have more difficulty leaving the area they grew up unless they are the ones seeking opportunity. I know a number of men who moved with their career, only to have the SO complain that they wanted to be nearer their family.

[LoveBoating]

I grew up on a hog farm and adapted fairly well to city life. But, years ago got interested in horses and pro-rodeo so I kept that farmboy "thing" in me. I became a cowboy (hat, saddle, rope and all), but most of the ladies I met when I was single were more interested in country dancing than in horses or rodeo........until I met my wife! She was both a "city girl" and "country girl" and wanted to meet a cowboy (ended up being me). She went to lots of rodeo's with me and met a lot of World Champions that I knew. Our rodeo days are over now, but sure have video/photos of it all!
So, yes a person can switch from "country" to "city" or even from "city" to "country", but sometimes it's not easy!
You won't be doomed if you want to touch on some "country" at times and she will really want the city life. If she ends up hating "city life" and you don't want anything to do with "country life"......then you may very well end up DOOMED!!

[Hillman]

Most country girls I know are very tuff and adaptable.Long as she has something to keep her busy and gets to go visit family every so often she will be fine.

hillman

[MAtheBanker]

Originally Posted by OuttaFlorida

I've been seeing an amazing girl for the past few months. We've really hit it off and hang out on a daily basis. She's 100% country and has all her family down here. I'm moving to DC city life about 4 hours away in a month or 2 for a job offer. Anyone gone from growing up in the country to the big city life successfully? She says she'd consider moving up there after trying a long distance thing for awhile. But, I've recently ended a long term relationship that died due to a move away from family and friends. Is it possible to leave all she knows behind and start a happy life with me in the city? I know there are soooo many other factors to play, but I'd like to hear some other success or failure stories in this regard. Thanks!

I think THAT is what your focus needs to be on for now. Long distance is tough, and is a strain on most relationships. Focus on making it through the hard times that are surely to result from the seperation.

Don't jump ahead to her moving out there with you, cross that bridge when you get there. I left my entire life and family to move to a new place, and it ended up being the best decision I've ever made. It may not be that grand for someone else...

[bmwguydc]

You're not necessarily doomed, and there are places not terribly far from DC that are more to the country way of life, so if she were to move or visit, she could get the open spaces and equestrian pursuits in short order. The problem might stem more from being away from what's familiar -- friends and family, but even that is not a harbinger of doom, especially when the distance is only a couple of hundred miles. Plus, she may grow to like the energy of the city and all of its offerings, which actually could help your relationship. Good luck.

[Rhett_Butler]

If it were anywhere other than DC you might have a chance...

[LaoTzuMindFu]

I think she would be fine in the city. Country girls who move to the city adapt well and usually just fall in love with city life. If it were the other way around, where its a city girl who moves to the country, then you would be in for some major problems.

[andreaspercheron]

Having been THAT country girl and had to move north. It's a tough transition, one that I still regret but have learned to deal with and it's been years for me since my move. Southerners by nature just have a difficult time adjusting to everything here, the weather, people, driving, PACE of life is the biggest thing. It also depends on her, if she's an adventurous spirit then she may be okay esp if she knows she can easily visit her family and friends.

[TabulaRasa]

I grew up very rurally, on a farm, the nearest "community" was one of 350 people and involved no businesses other than an agricultural processing facility and grain elevator (no school, no retail, no gas station, not even any bars, certainly no restaurants). Just acres and acres of cropland. I lived here for 18 years, and then moved to a small town of about 9,000 for college, similar agricultural demographic.

For a seven-year stretch of my adulthood, I lived and worked in a small farming community of 7,000.

Other than that, I've lived in one of the largest metro areas in the country, and one of the largest metro areas in my region. The adjustment has not been difficult, even though I now live far from family. I bloom where I'm planted...don't underestimate the ability of others to adapt and adjust. I was never a person who rejected one for the other, I love both.

I will always love my rural home, and go back a couple of times a year to visit my family and recharge my batteries. But it's assuredly not the only place I can live and be happy. Not by any means. I wouldn't say I "switched" from country to city. I would say I'm both.