Be honest- When are YOU the problem for your relationship failures? (man, issues)

[Huckleberry3911948]

if a snake lets go of a frog its not a relationship failure.

[CESpeed]

There is no such thing as any relationship that fails being 100% on the other person. It takes two to make or break a relationship.

I recently was seeing a guy and while I'm not 100% about his motives, I'm pretty sure that my insecurity about his motives and how I reacted to him had a lot to do with why we didn't keep seeing each other.

[Thursday007]

Originally Posted by Ron.

Are you saying you have issues with your selections?

no 'issues' just the facts ...they suck.

[Whyte Byrd]

Originally Posted by Ron.

We(including me) like to make up all kinds of excuses about the "other person".

I cannot find a mate because "the guys/gals in my area"

I got divorced because "he/she will not"

I am staying single because " the guys/gals I meet"


Do you see where I am going with this. It's always someone elses fault. When is the problem YOU?

Are you the cause of your failures and lack of happiness with YOUR relationships?

Please don't try to convince us why you're a great person.

People bring up the other person in the relationship b'c most responsible people are aware of their own faults and don't feel the need to rant about them. We usually know how to deal with them. Not always so with the other person responsible.

[JeepGirl118]

No such thing as failures. No guts, no glory. When you put forth effort, it is a success no matter how you slice and dice it. Like back in school, if you gave it your best and you got a C, well, that is like an A+ because you sincerely gave it your all. Everyone I date that does not work out is just simply considered practice for the right one. If you grab something from a situation that did not work out and you learned something about yourself, you are ahead of the game. If you do not and you keep repeating the same behavior over and over expecting a different result - that falls under the term of insanity and not as a 'failure.'

[the minx]

I don't think I've ever laid full blame on an SO for the failure of a relationship. I know my faults and one of them is that I often let people off to easily - placing the blame on myself.

I am also very difficult to get to know and therefore hard to adjust to. Can't blame anyone else for that.

[bmwguydc]

In a word, No. And, I am being objective in that regard, nor do I blame anyone else, since I've not had a psychotic ending to a relationship, as mine have ended due to time or distance, or just being one half step out of sync, but nothing that I would assign to either party.

[cdubs3201]

I feel it's a combination of both. I used to blame it on girls just being sl*t bags and having too high of standards, but I took a step back and looked at my environment: downtown Chicago.

So instead, I decided the best way to meet women that I'm looking for was online dating, I've been going that route, so far it's got me in the dating game, no relationship yet, but I'm being patient and just enjoying meeting new women for the time being.

My faults used to be that I wasn't a challege to the women I was interested in. I'd basically offer up myself and all my feelings too early, thinking that this was what women wanted to hear. I learned the hard way that this is not true, women build more interest for guys that they have to figure out. Gotta give them time to think about you and analyze you. This build interest than if I just poured my life story to them and told them how I feel after the 3rd date.

I also used to let women walk all over me. I was stood up by the same woman 6 times over the course of 6 months, but each time she'd call me next day or next week and tell me some crazy story about what happened and why she couldn't call me to let me know she couldn't make it. I also dated a girl who used to go out to bars and parties without me with a group of friends, many of whom were other dudes that I didn't know. I didn't want to be a controlling BF like so many women complained about, so I said I was supportive of her freedom. Too bad it sucks sitting at home alone sat night when you're gf is getting drunk with other guys.

The last couple years I didn't date anymore and just took some time to figure myself out and what I wanted. I also looked at my mistakes and I've learned from them. I'm sure I'll make more mistakes, no one is perfect, but hopoefully I'm better than I used to be.

[floridadreamer]

Okay, here's mine.

I expect as much from other people as I am willing to give, which is very rare to find.

[DennyCrane]

Originally Posted by Ron.

We(including me) like to make up all kinds of excuses about the "other person".

I cannot find a mate because "the guys/gals in my area"

I got divorced because "he/she will not"

I am staying single because " the guys/gals I meet"


Do you see where I am going with this. It's always someone elses fault. When is the problem YOU?

Are you the cause of your failures and lack of happiness with YOUR relationships?

Please don't try to convince us why you're a great person.

As a single person, I have no trouble admitting that the biggest reason I'm still single is me. I could complain that there aren't any good people left or that people reject me because of this or that. But the truth is I just don't put enough effort into meeting people and when I do, I waste too much time thinking about how to make the first move.

But I'm glad you started this thread because I see so many people who blame everyone and everything else for their relationship failures. I knew one girl who claims she has terrible luck with relationships. I finally asked her what all those relationships had in common. She couldn't figure it out. Either that or she didn't want to admit that the problem could be her.