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Unread 09-01-2009, 08:57 PM
 
67 posts, read 43,042 times
Reputation: 24
well how else could i say it ?? over the years i have told her, please lose weight for your healths sake.. for your own well being.. thats pretty tactful right ????? well it didnt work after infiniti+1 attemtps so.. maybe this will be the wakeup call that saves her life whether i am with her or not... *** i judt dont know what to you know..... ??
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Unread 09-01-2009, 08:57 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,274 posts, read 13,001,460 times
Reputation: 21504
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericz123 View Post
why is honesty treated like an std these days ?
Dude.....is most definetly is, when you outfront tell your wife that your not attractive to her anymore, yes!
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Unread 09-01-2009, 08:57 PM
 
1,008 posts, read 1,189,168 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ericz123 View Post
i told my wife i was starting to find her less attractive physically. it really hurt bad to tell her and i think it hurt her terribly, i feel like a real jerk now.. what should i do ? am i a bad person ?
If it's true, then go ahead and say it.

How old is she? Is she becoming obese? Does she excercise and take care of herself?

It depends exactly how bad she's getting. If she is really getting bad, nothing wrong with saying something.

I once had a girlfriend gain 70 pounds on me, yes that's right, 70 pounds within a 9 month relationship. I told her it just wasn't doing it for me anymore. Yet she still got offended as if I was sout of line.
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Unread 09-01-2009, 08:58 PM
 
454 posts, read 159,294 times
Reputation: 211
I think rather than saying that, you should tell her what she can do to improve. Constructive criticsm. She has no idea why.

Try, "when I first fell in love with you, you were (thinner, dressed sexier, etc.)" so she can atleast have something to work on! I know because Im a model and have been told some harsh things too, but atleast I knew what they were and could work on it. Think about it. "Your car is broken down" versus, "You need a new radiator". Atleast you know what it is!

Also, have you thought that maybe you are now attracted to the same sex? Its very common you know...

And women, we need to keep ourselves looking good too, dont blame it all on the man. You cant expect to look attractive wearing rollers in the hair and gaining 10 pounds every month!
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Unread 09-01-2009, 08:59 PM
 
67 posts, read 43,042 times
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yankee i didnt say not attractive i said less attractive. but women probably hear what they want to too huh ?
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Unread 09-01-2009, 09:00 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
15,274 posts, read 13,001,460 times
Reputation: 21504
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericz123 View Post
well how else could i say it ?? over the years i have told her, please lose weight for your healths sake.. for your own well being.. thats pretty tactful right ????? well it didnt work after infiniti+1 attemtps so.. maybe this will be the wakeup call that saves her life whether i am with her or not... *** i judt dont know what to you know..... ??
Then offer to take her for a walk around the block. Motivate her. Take her to a gym. Have more sex. Whatever it takes!
Let her know that you are with her on this one to help her.
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Unread 09-01-2009, 09:02 PM
 
67 posts, read 43,042 times
Reputation: 24
no. i dont like dudes....


Quote:
Originally Posted by Joei View Post
I think rather than saying that, you should tell her what she can do to improve. Constructive criticsm. She has no idea why.

Try, "when I first fell in love with you, you were (thinner, dressed sexier, etc.)" so she can atleast have something to work on! I know because Im a model and have been told some harsh things too, but atleast I knew what they were and could work on it. Think about it. "Your car is broken down" versus, "You need a new radiator". Atleast you know what it is!

Also, have you thought that maybe you are now attracted to the same sex? Its very common you know...

And women, we need to keep ourselves looking good too, dont blame it all on the man. You cant expect to look attractive wearing rollers in the hair and gaining 10 pounds every month!
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Unread 09-01-2009, 09:03 PM
 
711 posts, read 820,279 times
Reputation: 622
Personally, I could not let myself go....BUT in the slight chance I did, I'd want someone to tell me that I'm starting to have moons orbit around me....EVEN though I would probably cry and head for the nearest Krispy Creme...LOL...
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Unread 09-01-2009, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,250 posts, read 6,053,912 times
Reputation: 5888
Quote:
Originally Posted by ericz123 View Post
why is honesty treated like an std these days ?
Nothing is wrong with honesty at all, but telling anyone, man or woman, that they are not so attractive/less attractive is crushing to hear. Even devastating. It's about tact, sometimes you have to take the high-road to get your point satisfied without hurting the other persons self esteem. When someone hears (especially a woman) - they are not attractive, they do not just hear exactly what you said - they hear all of the below combined:

- I am not good enough.
- I am not sexy and inviting.
- I am ugly.
- I am fat
- I am boring.
- I am looking old.
- I am uninteresting.
- Something is wrong with me.
- He may want to go to another woman and I feel defeated.
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Unread 09-01-2009, 09:03 PM
 
67 posts, read 43,042 times
Reputation: 24
yeah she joined the gym at my suggestion, i hope it will help her
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
Then offer to take her for a walk around the block. Motivate her. Take her to a gym. Have more sex. Whatever it takes!
Let her know that you are with her on this one to help her.
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