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Old 09-04-2009, 06:37 PM
 
20 posts, read 67,032 times
Reputation: 12

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Here's the background...I started dating one of them, I'll call him "A" at the very beginning of the summer. He got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship so we are just taking things slow. I didn't think it was going anywhere b/c it felt very casual, but most recently things have changed and I feel like the feelings for both of us are growing, slowly. We have never had a talk about us..

The other one "B" is someone I dated for a few weeks back in Jan. The timing was bad, he just got out of something and i was a bit of an emotional mess and we didnt really talk for a few months. He got back in touch with me about 1 month ago and we started dating. Again, I didn't have strong feelings for "A" at the time and I figured I'm not committed to anyone so let's just see where it goes.

Now here I am, with strong feelings for both. B knows about A and has recently told me he wants to give me more, but is holding back, and I do understand why.

I feel like I need to chose 1 and I do just want one boyfriend, but I'm scared of making the wrong choice b/c I really care about them both!
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Old 09-04-2009, 06:42 PM
 
8,415 posts, read 35,326,901 times
Reputation: 6268
Pick for yourself not because someone else is trying to make you before you are ready. B sounds like a manipulator to me.
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Old 09-04-2009, 06:46 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,413,256 times
Reputation: 8031
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmg80 View Post
Here's the background...I started dating one of them, I'll call him "A" at the very beginning of the summer. He got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship so we are just taking things slow. I didn't think it was going anywhere b/c it felt very casual, but most recently things have changed and I feel like the feelings for both of us are growing, slowly. We have never had a talk about us..

The other one "B" is someone I dated for a few weeks back in Jan. The timing was bad, he just got out of something and i was a bit of an emotional mess and we didnt really talk for a few months. He got back in touch with me about 1 month ago and we started dating. Again, I didn't have strong feelings for "A" at the time and I figured I'm not committed to anyone so let's just see where it goes.

Now here I am, with strong feelings for both. B knows about A and has recently told me he wants to give me more, but is holding back, and I do understand why.

I feel like I need to chose 1 and I do just want one boyfriend, but I'm scared of making the wrong choice b/c I really care about them both!
I'm not sure how old you are and my advice would be different for someone older, but if you are in your 20s here it is:

Why rush? Give it more time, but just be upfront, eventually one of them will fall out either on his own or you will find things you don't like about him. Just watch. I was in similar situations all through my college years. What can I say, I liked to have options.
Trust me - things will fall into place eventually.
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Old 09-04-2009, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,359 posts, read 10,913,703 times
Reputation: 3843
Pick the one who wants the same future life that you do. Best with similar outlooks, similar likes and dislikes.
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Old 09-04-2009, 06:53 PM
 
3,088 posts, read 7,784,908 times
Reputation: 2029
Be with them both. Nothing like a little dp.
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Old 09-04-2009, 06:56 PM
 
Location: Coastal Georgia
37,134 posts, read 45,653,323 times
Reputation: 61811
You should not chose until the choice becomes clear to you. There is a chance that neither one is the right one. Leave yourself open and give it more time...don't force it.
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Old 09-04-2009, 07:17 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,615 posts, read 50,320,986 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmg80 View Post
Here's the background...I started dating one of them, I'll call him "A" at the very beginning of the summer. He got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship so we are just taking things slow. I didn't think it was going anywhere b/c it felt very casual, but most recently things have changed and I feel like the feelings for both of us are growing, slowly. We have never had a talk about us..

The other one "B" is someone I dated for a few weeks back in Jan. The timing was bad, he just got out of something and i was a bit of an emotional mess and we didnt really talk for a few months. He got back in touch with me about 1 month ago and we started dating. Again, I didn't have strong feelings for "A" at the time and I figured I'm not committed to anyone so let's just see where it goes.

Now here I am, with strong feelings for both. B knows about A and has recently told me he wants to give me more, but is holding back, and I do understand why.

I feel like I need to chose 1 and I do just want one boyfriend, but I'm scared of making the wrong choice b/c I really care about them both!


This thread is why dating sucks
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Old 09-04-2009, 08:25 PM
 
Location: michigan
45 posts, read 67,148 times
Reputation: 37
i know what your going through, ive actually dated more than just 2 guys at the same time.. but they all knew of the others and i didnt want a commitment at the time, then they all wanted more... very hard situation... and i ended up hurting some guys... but true, be honest with yourself and them, and wait til u know what u want... worked for me.. actually, my hubby was a fling to me for an entire summer, he wanted more i didnt.. i was seeing him among others, then whack.... out of no where i fell for him, left the other guys, and now we r together w a kid...
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Old 09-04-2009, 08:42 PM
 
Location: Some place very cold
5,500 posts, read 20,070,496 times
Reputation: 4220
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
I'm not sure how old you are and my advice would be different for someone older, but if you are in your 20s here it is:

Why rush? Give it more time, but just be upfront, eventually one of them will fall out either on his own or you will find things you don't like about him. Just watch. I was in similar situations all through my college years. What can I say, I liked to have options.
Trust me - things will fall into place eventually.
I agree. Let the situation play itself out. One will fall by the wayside.
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Old 09-04-2009, 08:43 PM
 
Location: NZ Wellington
2,782 posts, read 3,733,198 times
Reputation: 591
Quote:
Originally Posted by dmg80 View Post
Here's the background...I started dating one of them, I'll call him "A" at the very beginning of the summer. He got out of a 3 1/2 year relationship so we are just taking things slow. I didn't think it was going anywhere b/c it felt very casual, but most recently things have changed and I feel like the feelings for both of us are growing, slowly. We have never had a talk about us..

The other one "B" is someone I dated for a few weeks back in Jan. The timing was bad, he just got out of something and i was a bit of an emotional mess and we didnt really talk for a few months. He got back in touch with me about 1 month ago and we started dating. Again, I didn't have strong feelings for "A" at the time and I figured I'm not committed to anyone so let's just see where it goes.

Now here I am, with strong feelings for both. B knows about A and has recently told me he wants to give me more, but is holding back, and I do understand why.

I feel like I need to chose 1 and I do just want one boyfriend, but I'm scared of making the wrong choice b/c I really care about them both!
There is nothing to fear but fear itself. Make a choice.
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