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Old 09-05-2009, 07:54 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I agree.

I could probably have phrased it a little better. What behaviors have you seen in the past that made you question a person's level of intelligence to the point of losing interest?
When they always blame everything on the dog.
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:58 PM
 
Location: In my skin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
When they always blame everything on the dog.
LOL.

I actually had someone who was jealous of my laptop.
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Old 09-05-2009, 07:59 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,102 posts, read 34,528,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I could probably have phrased it a little better. What behaviors have you seen in the past that made you question a person's level of intelligence to the point of losing interest?
With my exes, they never seemed to grow mentally. They were the same person I met years earlier. No new interests or hobbies. No new friends, or even fewer friends when some of them moved away from our area. By contrast, I felt that I was still growing as a person and had more interests than when I first met them.

It's not that I thought them of lesser intelligence than myself, but their minds weren't very inquisitive. Ho-hum.

When you first meet someone and start dating, I find it very exciting getting to know them. But after a point, the book is completely read. And if they aren't constantly expanding their knowledge base or interests, that's when no new chapters are being written and being with them is awfully boring.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:00 PM
 
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The girls like intelligence but it seems to be in only certain palatable forms. Sense of humor is certainly a big one and they like it in its practical orthodox forms like a degree that will get you a good job but I never really attracted a lot of girls with my chess game or chatting it up about German existentialism.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:03 PM
 
Location: In my skin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
With my exes, they never seemed to grow mentally. They were the same person I met years earlier. No new interests or hobbies. No new friends, or even fewer friends when some of them moved away from our area. By contrast, I felt that I was still growing as a person and had more interests than when I first met them.

It's not that I thought them of lesser intelligence than myself, but their minds weren't very inquisitive. Ho-hum.

When you first meet someone and start dating, I find it very exciting getting to know them. But after a point, the book is completely read. And if they aren't constantly expanding their knowledge base or interests, that's when no new chapters are being written and being with them is awfully boring.
Absolutely. People who still have a lot to learn are not dumb, just less informed. The decision to remain so is what I find less than bright.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:03 PM
 
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There are so many facets to intelligence.

Listening is one ability that I associate with smarts. If you don't listen to what I say - and I mean take it in and process it, not just hear me - then you are not someone I want to be around. You don't have to agree with me but if you can't at least consider my side, then you are not worth my time.

Humor is another. I think intelligence is a requirement for a sense of humor. I am a witty person, sometimes very sarcastic and biting - and if you can't figure that out - no thanks.

Taste in music is another quality I look for to indicate intelligence. People who only listen to one genre of music are too narrow minded for me. I read a study once that said people with a broad taste in music routinely score higher on IQ tests. I think it has something to do with what PTC said - interest in the world beyond - learning and accepting new things.

I could probably list many other qualities, but those are my top 3.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:04 PM
 
Location: In my skin
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
The girls like intelligence but it seems to be in only certain palatable forms. Sense of humor is certainly a big one and they like it in its practical orthodox forms like a degree that will get you a good job but I never really attracted a lot of girls with my chess game or chatting it up about German existentialism.
I'm sure some feel do that way.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:06 PM
 
Location: Columbia, SC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
The girls like intelligence but it seems to be in only certain palatable forms. Sense of humor is certainly a big one and they like it in its practical orthodox forms like a degree that will get you a good job but I never really attracted a lot of girls with my chess game or chatting it up about German existentialism.
You should have learned how to play a guitar and written a love song with your girlfriend's (or your intended's) name in it. Absolutely infallible.

One caveat - If you change girls, don't forget to change the name in the song when you sing it for her.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:44 PM
 
17,752 posts, read 15,595,799 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cuebald View Post
You should have learned how to play a guitar and written a love song with your girlfriend's (or your intended's) name in it. Absolutely infallible.

One caveat - If you change girls, don't forget to change the name in the song when you sing it for her.
Hi cuebald,

Sure music is killer. It is good advice.
I didn't try to pick up the girls with my chess game. I loved chatting about the Schopenhauer on the 3rd floor with my friends drinking Coffee and Chicory but I only used it to bore the girls when I thought they might get the wrong idea. I sometimes enjoyed pretending to be a stiff. I love anti-hero humor. One good one is to invite them over for a foreign film and have it be one of those raunchy, violent Mexican ones. If she gets the joke she is a keeper(and tell her you cannot understand a word of Spanish but you like the sex and violence).
I could write poetry somewhat and I could do dialects to make them laugh like Scots, Irish, German , French etc. Russian is my best one now because its the only one I have kept up with. I even did a German officer in a skit once. I was also a skilled cook. I used that to invite them over for dinner away from the dorm food.
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Old 09-05-2009, 08:54 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
17,102 posts, read 34,528,599 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spinx View Post
There are so many facets to intelligence.

Listening is one ability that I associate with smarts. If you don't listen to what I say - and I mean take it in and process it, not just hear me - then you are not someone I want to be around. You don't have to agree with me but if you can't at least consider my side, then you are not worth my time.
While I agree with you that listening is a great trait to have, I believe that in a healthy relationship a couple takes turns listening and talking. One partner can't do all the listening.

My ex hubbie at the end of our relationship was basically the listener. He had nothing interesting ever to tell me about his day, but was content to listen to me tell him about my work and new interest in antiquing. He also would tell me that I was the most interesting and fascinating person he'd ever met. And it was flattering at first, then I started to feel like he was a parasite in the relationship as he was living vicariously through my life experiences.

I really need a 50/50 split on the listening and whose talking thing.
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