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Old 09-07-2009, 06:43 PM
 
Location: Northern NH
4,551 posts, read 10,158,864 times
Reputation: 3795

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tired of marriage View Post
I don't blame her for it...

I want her to participate in activities not be a drag along, But you are right, I need to find things for myself to do without feeling the guilt of leaving her home...But that is part of the problem. She will come with me and I think that she enjoys it. But I want her to be active in what we are doing. Not just waiting for me to tell her what to do....
She comes with you and she enjoys it, but, you don't want her waiting around to tell her what to do. I'm thinking that after 35 years of marriage she might be thinking that is what you like for goodness sakes Wow you seem like a real ass or something
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:43 PM
 
10 posts, read 15,820 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by picklejuice View Post
You are not alone.
I didn't think so, but one never know's.....How do you handle it?
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:45 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,870,592 times
Reputation: 3428
Perhaps he is at a crossroads,
or has discovered an interest in someone? I think it is a good thing he is asking, he already knows the answer, maybe just needs to see it written out.
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:46 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,870,592 times
Reputation: 3428
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aptor hours View Post
She comes with you and she enjoys it, but, you don't want her waiting around to tell her what to do. I'm thinking that after 35 years of marriage she might be thinking that is what you like for goodness sakes Wow you seem like a real ass or something
No, I think he is asking as a man often does, right to the point.
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:47 PM
 
10 posts, read 15,820 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
After 35 years of marriage, you just now decided she was boring?
Nope, I have always known it....But with kids, jobs, house, I tended to over look it....
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,174,896 times
Reputation: 39838
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tired of marriage View Post
I don't blame her for it...

I want her to participate in activities not be a drag along, But you are right, I need to find things for myself to do without feeling the guilt of leaving her home...But that is part of the problem. She will come with me and I think that she enjoys it. But I want her to be active in what we are doing. Not just waiting for me to tell her what to do....
Hey, at least she's willing to show up!

I'm not so sure it's realistic for you to expect her to be active in all the things you are interested in. The best you can do is tell her how much you enjoy when she participates and that she's always welcome.

But if she decides something is not for her, you just have to go on without her. I could never keep up with all the things my husband likes to do - but as long as I don't give him grief about his pursuits he is happy. Go out and get on with your life, it's the only one you've got!
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:49 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,870,592 times
Reputation: 3428
Yes at a crossroad, other things were a diversion.
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:51 PM
 
Location: NW Montana
6,258 posts, read 12,870,592 times
Reputation: 3428
You are the only one that can change or improve your life.
Start with a list of goals, make a few short ones..
Do you still have kidos at home?
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:53 PM
 
17,752 posts, read 15,561,622 times
Reputation: 6390
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tired of marriage View Post
I have been married to the same women for 35yrs. And I must admit I'm not sure I was ever in love with her. Don't get me wrong I do love her, I just don't think I'm in love with her. I have always thougth that she was boring. She has never ever came up with an idea for us to do anything together. I feel like I have dragged her around with me for 35 yrs. If I don't think of it, then we don't do it. If I don't keep the conversation going, then there isn't any. I want a partner to do stuff with. Not somebody who I constantly have to drag around. I have often thought of having an affair, but only because I am so lonely. We don't have any real friends, they have either moved or passed on. We don't do anything but sit around and watch tv. I have told her many times that I need her to come up with stuff to do. Because after all these years I've got nothing left to think of. But she doesn't. I like to ride motorcycles, and I am tired of dragging her around on the back of it. I have offered to teach her to ride her own and buy her one. But she say's she's afraid to. So now I don't even enjoy that anymore!

I don't know what to do, I am so miserable and lonely that I often think of just disappearing one day and starting a new life somewhere else...

Is there anybody else out there in the same boat?
Hi Tired of marriage,

First of all you don't plan on hanging around with "Tired of marriage" do you? It it appears you will go back to the TV once you get an answer. This is not just about her. Lots of single people have to make their own ideas all the time. Be glad she does not constantly talk about some nonsense.
Do what you want to do and find new friends and a hobby. If she sits and watches TV then so be it. If you are looking for a girl friend to do all these neat things with then its about getting laid. You can find lots of interesting people and your wife may voluntarily relegate herself to a squeeze toy. You may have to shop for the vegetables in one store and buy meat in another. Very few people have all their needs met from a spouse.
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Old 09-07-2009, 06:53 PM
 
10 posts, read 15,820 times
Reputation: 10
Quote:
Originally Posted by seven of nine View Post
Yes at a crossroad, other things were a diversion.
I think your right....But after 35 yrs. I don't know if I could, I would feel guilty as all hell. She like me have nothing else but each other...
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