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Yup, I'll admit to it. Turned 30 this year. Divorced. In a good relationship - with a man who has had a vasectomy. I'm in school for the next 3-4 years.
*sigh*
I enjoy being around kids but sometimes I feel a little jealous, angry, sad.
The boyfriend says he'd get a reverse vasectomy if and when we both felt ready, probably when I am close to being done with school. IF we are still together. Things are great now, but divorce has made me cynical. It's just as well that I'm in school because emotionally I am not ready to 100% commit to someone. Not that you have to be committed to someone to have a baby.
I always thought I'd have 2 kids, ideally before turning 30. Now I'm looking at not even starting to try until I am 34, and I am nervous about thinking of trying much after age 35-37, due to the increased risk. I am open to adoption, but in my heart I'd really like to have at least one biologically.
Anyone else stressed about this? I don't really have anyone else to talk to about it.
Problem with your plan is this: You say you are not ready, which you may no be. But by the time you are "ready" you may be single and not able to find anyone to have a kid with and this could be years pushing into your 40's.
But since you are not even married I would not even persue it yet anyhow, just something to think about as that clock ticks!
I'm 24 and I got the "Where is your life going?!" talk from my mother a few months ago. I find it rather disturbing, because out of all my siblings (I have 6), I, at 24, have been the most successful at this point in life. I have a career, a house, a car, I almost have a dog...
It's sad that success in my life, according to my mother, is defined as having a husband and kids. She said "you're not getting any younger, why haven't you found someone to marry??". Please. I'm practically still an infant to 90% of the world.
So, to answer your question: NO, I do not stress over my biological clock. I DO want to have my own family someday, but for goodness sake, give me some time!
Deadlines are usually a good way of motivating someone to do something they're not particularly anxious to do, like their taxes. But when it comes to major life decisions like getting married or having kids, deadlines can actually be a bad thing. I had a friend who was determined to get married before turning 30. Like a lot of women, she was worried that if she married too late, she'd miss out on her chance to start a family and she didn't want to have kids without being married first. So what happened? At 29, she was dating some guy who she wasn't really in love with, but she married him anyway. They had a kid and then a few years later, they divorced. She doesn't regret having her child. She just regrets who the father is. And unfortunately, that person will be in her life forever.
Too many people have kids for all the wrong reasons. They think about how happy they'll be to have kids, how all their friends have kids, how much their parents would love grandkids, and how their time is running out. Rarely do you meet someone saying they'd make a great parent and that any child would be lucky to have them as a mother or father.
I'm 24 and I got the "Where is your life going?!" talk from my mother a few months ago. I find it rather disturbing, because out of all my siblings (I have 6), I, at 24, have been the most successful at this point in life. I have a career, a house, a car, I almost have a dog...
It's sad that success in my life, according to my mother, is defined as having a husband and kids. She said "you're not getting any younger, why haven't you found someone to marry??". Please. I'm practically still an infant to 90% of the world.
So, to answer your question: NO, I do not stress over my biological clock. I DO want to have my own family someday, but for goodness sake, give me some time!
You are SO young...Mom needs to back off!! Be proud of your accomplishments.
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