How much money? (dating, wife, married, woman)

[Thursday007]

After seeing the thread 'would you date a person in debt' and a host of other threads regarding inappropriate questions, I was wondering, at what point in a relationship would you reveal how much money you make?

[Odie]

I'd never reveal my sources of income or how much.... *looks around all nervous* That's like asking how many people you've had "nookie" with...Bit too personal....and I'd never ask anymore either of those questions....

[Lol_Stacey]

Originally Posted by Odie

I'd never reveal my sources of income or how much.... *looks around all nervous* That's like asking how many people you've had "nookie" with...Bit too personal....and I'd never ask anymore either of those questions....

YOu don't plan on getting married, I take it.

[Lol_Stacey]

Originally Posted by Thursday007

After seeing the thread 'would you date a person in debt' and a host of other threads regarding inappropriate questions, I was wondering, at what point in a relationship would you reveal how much money you make?

How much money a person makes isn't quite that difficult to figure out. There are these things called salary surveys that narrow down (to the $ 10,000 bracket or so) average incomes. Yes, I realize, there are people who are not average, but my point is simply that it would not be that hard to figure how much money a person was earning based on their job. If you are talking investments and old money, that may be a different thing....possibly when it is an actual relationship (not just dating) this could be shared information.

Money is so funny to me, because it really means so very little how much a person can earn....what means more to me is how wise that person is with the money he has. I would not care to be with a man that earned a 150K a year, if he lives off credit cards, buys million dollar homes, etc...(lives beyond his means), and I am much more attracted to a person earning a modest living that lives within reason.

[Takes1 2 Know1]

Originally Posted by Thursday007

After seeing the thread 'would you date a person in debt' and a host of other threads regarding inappropriate questions, I was wondering, at what point in a relationship would you reveal how much money you make?

You keep that secret as long as possible. You wouldn't want to open pandora's box would you?

[MMichelle]

When (if) it's time to file a joint tax return, move in together, buy a home together or get married it would be time to swap income information.

Up to those types of events it's best to keep your financial life your own.

I do think it's important to a relationship to agree on how money is managed. Two people can have different views on details, but the "big picture" needs to be the same for both people. i.e If one has hever saved a dime and spends the Friday's paycheck every Saturday night and the other is the "a penny saved is a penny earned" type -- the relationship can face conflict in the long run.

[MIKEETC]

Originally Posted by Thursday007

After seeing the thread 'would you date a person in debt' and a host of other threads regarding inappropriate questions, I was wondering, at what point in a relationship would you reveal how much money you make?

When she asks. I figure that telling her won't make a difference to me. If how much (or how little) I earn annually is that important to her, and if I don't make enough, then that's her problem - the sooner I find out that it is a problem the better.

[Thursday007]

Originally Posted by Odie

I'd never reveal my sources of income or how much.... *looks around all nervous* That's like asking how many people you've had "nookie" with...Bit too personal....and I'd never ask anymore either of those questions....

Originally Posted by Lol_Stacey

YOu don't plan on getting married, I take it.

My point exactly - or how about if they are just living together?

Originally Posted by Lol_Stacey

Money is so funny to me, because it really means so very little how much a person can earn....what means more to me is how wise that person is with the money he has. I would not care to be with a man that earned a 150K a year, if he lives off credit cards, buys million dollar homes, etc...(lives beyond his means), and I am much more attracted to a person earning a modest living that lives within reason.

Oh I wasn't suggesting that the question is a factor over loving or not loving someone, but at some point after so many years in a relationship, it has to come out so I just simply asked when that was appropriate.

I often find it funny that people can have sex with each other, in any open orafice that it game, but when it comes to saying how much they make it's too taboo or 'personal.'

Also, when it comes to planning trips together and high ticket items like that you would want to know if they can afford to do this and not insult them if they couldn't as an example.

So, I was just curious how long one would be in a relationship before they felt it appropriate to say how much they made not necessarilyask, but reciprocated.

[NorCal Dude]

A woman will know how much money you make or rather how much you spend. The moment you have that first date he is sizing you up from your shoes to your car. For me it is all a matter of simply telling them what they want to hear.

[andreaspercheron]

I don't think exact figures need to be revealed but it's a good idea before you get too far along in a relationship to know that the other person can be financially responsible. Mind you, I don't personally make a lot of money and there have been some past mistakes I've made but I've worked on clearing those up.
Having said that, I met a guy years ago that led me to believe he was financially stable, had a good job, made a nice salary - come to find out as things progressed he had a "secret confession" to reveal and told me that in fact he had lied about his situation, was in the middle of a bankruptcy, was losing his house to foreclosure, owed his ex wife a crap load of money, etc etc... and wanted to know if i could help save his house. Obviously I ran the other way. But here is a perfect situation when you need to know what you're getting yourself into.