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Old 09-09-2009, 09:31 AM
 
17,751 posts, read 15,598,944 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
I went through some email I exchanged with a particular gent, due to something he said yesterday that he repeated several times, in various ways, before. The comment this time was "I am not perfect, but I am still extraordinary by today's standards.". His other statements were:

"I have yet to find a woman who can measure up to my expectations."

"I'm a good looking man, it's not a matter of desperation, so I can wait for our schedules to come together."

"Not many people can afford to be choosey. I am fortunate in that regard."

There were others, I just wanted to give a few examples.

He is intelligent, educated, well spoken, mannerly, assertive and, from what I have gathered, has much to be proud of in the way of his accomplishments. I respect anyone who knows their worth and what they have to offer. I don't think what he is saying is unreasonable if you step back and look at it as being plain fact. It makes me smile; how can I not be happy for him? I'm just not sure I'd verbalize it so much. But he has a much bolder, matter-of-fact personality than I do.

What are your thoughts? Is it too much, even if it is true?
Hi PassTheChocolate,

Proverbs 27
2 Let another man praise you, and not your own mouth;
A stranger, and not your own lips.
Even the things about you which are 1 in 10,000, in a world of billions, its a dime a dozen.
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:40 AM
 
4,837 posts, read 7,796,317 times
Reputation: 2987
Default Confidence vs. Conceit

Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
What are your thoughts?
For women, is it confidence when he selects you and conceit when he selects someone else?

Basically, such issues deal with a thin slice of men who are able to pull this off.

However, there is another angle worth looking at:

First there is the guy with both money and looks. He can easily show confidence without conceit because he can stand any scrutiny and will have many opportunities. He cares little about what most women think of him.

Then there is the man with looks alone who needs to fake the money part. He knows he will not survive the scrutiny of any competent PI, so he uses the brash approach, loaded with conceit, to put his women on the defensive. He's not interested in those who are not enamored by this because they are the ones most likely to do their due diligence.

Then there is the rare bird, the guy with family money but inadequate looks. Such men are rare because their fathers could usually marry good looking women. He has quiet confidence, probably because he will likely eventually find what he wants and can always go the Spitzer route later, if need be.

This leaves the great unwashed. Lacking in "confidence" for obvious reasons, they are considered creepy, cheap and disgusting to women they are interested in and unwilling to commit to those who interest them little or not at all.

Life goes on.
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:50 AM
 
Location: Beautiful New England
2,412 posts, read 6,453,711 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PassTheChocolate View Post
Do any of you think what he said could apply to you?
Logic suggests the answer to that may be "yes." Academics -- especially ones with active research agendas at major universities -- are generally not known for being modest shrinking violets. Indeed, to become well known in one's field one must usually be willing to "blow one's horn" about publications, work, etc. Someone once told me "it doesn't happen if people don't know about it" and at times there is quite a bit of truth to that statement.
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:51 AM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,852 posts, read 8,258,092 times
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There is a fine line between being conceided and confident. They way I choose to live my life is from a more humble approach. I know I have a lot to offer another person, but it's not up to me to point those things out. If you have to verbalize why you're so "great", I think that's leaning more towards the conceided side.

Confidence isn't a verbal act, but more in the way you carry yourself, how you treat others, your countenance, your eyes, etc. Confidence and humilty go hand-in-hand, IMO. If you think you're confident/humble, you'll never reach the point where you have to prove your abilities and/or strengths, others will be able to see them in you.
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Old 09-09-2009, 09:52 AM
 
Location: My Private Island
4,941 posts, read 7,287,696 times
Reputation: 12256
Johnny Bravo is real...is thought he was just a cartoon?
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Old 09-09-2009, 10:02 AM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,607,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
If it is true, you don't need to say it.
I second that. The people with true confidence don't need to declare what's good about them. They're content even if they're the only ones who know how great they are. Any guy who feels the need to constantly announce why he's so great is probably lacking in confidence.
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Old 09-09-2009, 11:38 AM
 
4,210 posts, read 4,663,932 times
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In a womens eyes if hes good looking hes confident if hes ugly or average hes conceited
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Old 09-09-2009, 11:39 AM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,852 posts, read 8,258,092 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JBT1980 View Post
In a womens eyes if hes good looking hes confident if hes ugly or average hes conceited
You're joking, right? I don't know what kind of conceided women you hang around, but this is not how every woman thinks
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Old 09-09-2009, 11:44 AM
 
22,769 posts, read 26,135,447 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MAtheBanker View Post
You're joking, right? I don't know what kind of conceided women you hang around, but this is not how every woman thinks
You mean conceited ?
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Old 09-09-2009, 12:01 PM
 
Location: In my skin
9,045 posts, read 14,276,745 times
Reputation: 8901
Quote:
Originally Posted by MAtheBanker View Post
There is a fine line between being conceided and confident. They way I choose to live my life is from a more humble approach. I know I have a lot to offer another person, but it's not up to me to point those things out. If you have to verbalize why you're so "great", I think that's leaning more towards the conceided side.

Confidence isn't a verbal act, but more in the way you carry yourself, how you treat others, your countenance, your eyes, etc. Confidence and humilty go hand-in-hand, IMO. If you think you're confident/humble, you'll never reach the point where you have to prove your abilities and/or strengths, others will be able to see them in you.
Well stated.
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