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Old 09-09-2009, 01:03 PM
 
2 posts, read 6,387 times
Reputation: 10

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I have been seeing another young man for about 3 months now. As far as personality and character go, I truly believe he is a keeper (at the very least, he is far more intriguing than any other man I've dated thus far).

My one potential area of "concern" is that he is very socially involved in academic and extra curricular organizations - which isn't necessarily a problem of course. But it seems to have limitied the amount of time and frequency that I see him.

We go to the same university so distance will no longer be an issue once school starts back up. He is however training to become an RA and part of me fears that will further hinder the amount of time we can spend together.

I feel like since I see him so infrequently (maybe once or twice a month), it will be harder to move further (and eventually, go steady) but of the few men I have seen this summer, he is the one whose company I appreciate the most. I do believe he is worth waiting for, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice to give for someone in my situation.

I should also point out that he hasn't seemed to project as much confidence in moving forward as I have. Neither of us are very experienced, but I believe he has been let down or possibly used in the past. I was the one to make the first move. I do not however doubt that he likes me, he has already proven this. I am just wondering what other's perspectives are and if it is in my best interest to continue to wait for him.
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:21 PM
 
Location: Rockland County New York
2,984 posts, read 3,704,919 times
Reputation: 1258
So what you are basically saying is that he is your Mr. Right. Well go after him. Ask him out to dinner and a nice long walk. Try to hold his hand and give him that special look. My wife was 18 when she came up to me at and I was hers in ten minutes flat. He might not know how you feel. Send him a card with a little message which will get his attention. If you love the guy then make the time to reach out to him. I saw my wife ever night for five years before we got married. Of course we waited to finish college first before getting married. Those two hours a night mere magical and every evening we got to know more about each other. Do the same. Talk to him about every thing and he will begin to look at you as some one who is more than special.
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Old 09-09-2009, 01:27 PM
 
Location: southern california
50,365 posts, read 47,810,582 times
Reputation: 41788
. he has found something that works for him, for many guys they are looking for a long term lease not a purchase.
an honest discussion would be great.
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Old 09-09-2009, 02:28 PM
 
383 posts, read 473,915 times
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Well I've seen relationships work even when people only see each other once a week or a couple of times a month, so you should go after him.
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Old 09-09-2009, 02:59 PM
 
Location: Most days I live on Earth!
236 posts, read 255,165 times
Reputation: 144
Uhh, I disagree. He seems pretty busy and not that into you. Someone once told me that people are easy, IF you pay attention. He is already showing you what he is about. When a person likes another they will make a way out of no way. It really sucks when you like someone whose life is in the fast lane. I think you should remain friends, but you might want to find another love interest.
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Old 09-09-2009, 03:26 PM
 
Location: Some place very cold
5,503 posts, read 14,117,136 times
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Once or twice a month? Sounds like he doesn't have time for a serious relationship right now. I'd keep my options open.
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Old 09-09-2009, 03:37 PM
 
24,548 posts, read 14,969,115 times
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He will always be involved in things like this for the rest of his life (which isn't a bad thing) but you have some resentment for it. He is moving foward with HIS life and you need to move forward with YOURS as it seems your future and the things you do are dependant on him and co-dependancy relationships are always doomed. Somewhere I hope you meet again in the middle but don't sit and wait to accommodate his life and forget your own.
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Old 09-09-2009, 04:58 PM
 
383 posts, read 473,915 times
Reputation: 291
Quote:
Originally Posted by Woof Woof Woof! View Post
Once or twice a month? Sounds like he doesn't have time for a serious relationship right now. I'd keep my options open.
Perhaps once or twice a month is not enough but dating doesn't mean that people have to be glued to each other.
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Old 09-10-2009, 12:17 AM
 
2 posts, read 6,387 times
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We are not in a relationship, just to clarify. There is no co-dependency, or dependency of any kind. He is going to be busy throughout the year, but that is what will pay for his tuition so it wouldn't change even if he wanted it to. Plus we don't live in the same town so that has limited the amount of dates thus far. I am just looking in advance for something that might be a potential problem. He has not yet gone out of his way for me, no. But at the same time I have been told he is very shy when it comes to relationships, so it's hard to tell whether or not that's a real indicator to lack of interest.
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