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Old 09-14-2009, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Orlando, Florida
43,858 posts, read 44,520,587 times
Reputation: 58619

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Wife Doesn't Want Kids, Should Husband Sabotage Her Birth Control?

Absolutely NOT. A child deserves better than a mom who really didn't want it.
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:22 PM
 
Location: Marion, IA
2,796 posts, read 5,476,078 times
Reputation: 1578
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ticatica View Post
A be-otch is a woman who would have the child for his approval and then passively aggressively lash out at it until adulthood.
Be-otch - also a woman agreeing to want kids before marriage and only marrying for status and money. If it wasn't for the broken life the child would suffer I would do it and not tell her about it. Gee, honey you seem to be gaining weight hahaha
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Old 09-14-2009, 08:59 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
439 posts, read 816,320 times
Reputation: 468
Quote:
Originally Posted by zz4guy View Post
Be-otch - also a woman agreeing to want kids before marriage and only marrying for status and money. If it wasn't for the broken life the child would suffer I would do it and not tell her about it. Gee, honey you seem to be gaining weight hahaha
Sometimes people just change their minds. Could be she started out thinking she would be fine with having kids, but eventually her goals or plans changed, or she realized how drastically her life would be altered afterwards. Who knows, but whatever the case, people shouldn't be tricked into life-altering decisions.
Would it be better for her to have the kid, even if she has serious doubts and isn't actively seeking parenthood? Seems like a recipe for resentment and regret.
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Old 09-14-2009, 09:09 PM
 
Location: New York, NY
1,630 posts, read 2,359,759 times
Reputation: 2405
Quote:
Originally Posted by zz4guy View Post
Be-otch - also a woman agreeing to want kids before marriage and only marrying for status and money. If it wasn't for the broken life the child would suffer I would do it and not tell her about it. Gee, honey you seem to be gaining weight hahaha
In the adult world men change their minds about the career they want on average three times during their lifetime. Should the wife call him a be-otch for baiting and switching their financial and even social lifestyle? Should he be forced to continue as a slave to what he pretended he would do when they married?
She didn't marry him for money. They're broke! I'm guessing you have some delusion that all women are like the one in your head or you just didn't read the thread thouroughly. She is doing the financially responsible thing. So where is she being a be-otch?
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Old 09-14-2009, 09:26 PM
 
Location: Marion, IA
2,796 posts, read 5,476,078 times
Reputation: 1578
She was 100% gung-ho and then 100% against the idea of kids after walking down the isle. That is very very misleading. I could understand if she was half baked on the idea but to do a 180 is very dishonest. The monetary excuse only holds so much water. No, having a kid while you're on welfare is not a good idea. But if one or both of you has a stable job and you want kids then you should have them. Parents aren't able to have children forever... especially women. Now is better than later.
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Old 09-14-2009, 09:40 PM
 
Location: Up above the world so high!
45,270 posts, read 88,302,020 times
Reputation: 39844
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilred0005 View Post
I was listening in the car this morn. to a local radio station's A.M. show. when a guy called the station for advice. He said he's been married for 5 yrs and that he deeply loved his wife and they had a great relationship except that they couldn't agree on the subject of children. Apparently, they both went into the marriage wanting kids but she has recently changed her mind and no longer wants kids. The husband is very upset, having expressed a deep desire to have kids but the wife is adamant against having kids. The husband told the radio station that he is going to sabotage his wife's birth control for "the greater good". I found this disturbing on many levels and very hurtful and decietful but was shocked when several people called in to incourage him to go through with the sabotage. What do you all think of this situation? Do you think he should sabotage his wife's birth control? He said her expected love for the child in question would overcome any resentment about having an unwanted pregnancy but I'm not so sure. What are your thoughts and opinions? Take care,.......lil red
That's not only deceitful, it's a real violation of trust. He needs to handle this another way.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:02 PM
 
Location: Wherever I want to be... ;)
2,539 posts, read 8,810,517 times
Reputation: 1956
Wow.

As a woman that doesn't want kids, I couldn't imagine someone trying to manipulate me into getting pregnant against my will to have kids. You hear about this sh*t happening more often with women telling men that they're on the pill when they're not--but wow, a guy?

She needs to AT LEAST go to her gyno and get a Depo shot or an IUD if she's going to continue having sex with him--then at least she'll be infertile beyond his control.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:05 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, TN
8,000 posts, read 17,068,981 times
Reputation: 12328
That's pretty scary. So what is he going to do when she does get pregnant and then goes and gets an abortion? (and no, I'm not advocating abortion). I can't even believe he is contemplating something like this.

He should cut his losses and move on and find someone else.

I myself would be really ticked off that I went into a marriage believing that we both agreed on having children and then find out my partner does not want them anymore. I would divorce and marry again to someone who wanted children.
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Old 09-14-2009, 10:10 PM
 
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,732 posts, read 31,719,329 times
Reputation: 6773
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilred0005 View Post
I was listening in the car this morn. to a local radio station's A.M. show. when a guy called the station for advice. He said he's been married for 5 yrs and that he deeply loved his wife and they had a great relationship except that they couldn't agree on the subject of children. Apparently, they both went into the marriage wanting kids but she has recently changed her mind and no longer wants kids. The husband is very upset, having expressed a deep desire to have kids but the wife is adamant against having kids. The husband told the radio station that he is going to sabotage his wife's birth control for "the greater good". I found this disturbing on many levels and very hurtful and decietful but was shocked when several people called in to incourage him to go through with the sabotage. What do you all think of this situation? Do you think he should sabotage his wife's birth control? He said her expected love for the child in question would overcome any resentment about having an unwanted pregnancy but I'm not so sure. What are your thoughts and opinions? Take care,.......lil red
I found out that my husband was going to do that too me. We are no longer married of course because of many larger things. He had even gotten the placebos to replace my pills with, they looked just like real birth control but they were baby aspirin. I kept the pill packet laying on the bedside table and would never have noticed. He later told me it would have been a very easy thing to change out the foil so I would never know.

I would leave a man who would do something like that too me.
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Old 09-15-2009, 03:50 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,236 posts, read 41,277,312 times
Reputation: 10955
She could still have an abortion without consulting him. If she doesn't want kids, she has every right not to want them. It's not like he's going to have to carry that child to term--she is.
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