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Old 09-15-2009, 07:30 AM
 
Location: Cumberland Co., TN
21,871 posts, read 21,711,425 times
Reputation: 21476

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Quote:
He kept repeating that she would ultimately be grateful he sabotaged the b.c. after she gave birth and "fell in love with the baby". I guess what horrified me as much or more was the responses he got from listeners who called in to the show. One woman called in and was very very angry at his deceptive plans. Two guys called in after and called the angry woman "a crazy bi*ch". At least two guys felt this was a great plan that they all could eventually look back on and be grateful and happy he "took the iniative".
These attitudes are another example of the double standard. If the situation were reversed and she sabotaged the bc and became preg. when her husband absolutely didnt want kids at this time, she would still be the selfish crazy b. and these same ppl would think it justifiable for him to leave her. So cb if she dosent want kids and cb if she does.
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:32 AM
 
25,669 posts, read 24,298,688 times
Reputation: 44254
If you do that youre going to sabatoge your marriage too. Sad, but thats what will happen.
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:33 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,375,697 times
Reputation: 26526
The OP has come in a couple of times since the original post and explained what was made clear initially - that the couple went into the marriage expecting/agreeing to eventually have children. I don't understand why some posters keep chipping in castigating the wife for changing her mind when the OP has made it perfectly clear that the reason the wife wants to hold off on a family right now is because the couple's financial situation is precarious. Is there a basic comprehension problem here?

The issue is the husband's plan to sabotage whatever birth control method they're using (who cares if it's a condom, a bubble-wrapped pill or a Glad Bag) and whether posters agree with him or not.

My vote - I absolutely disagree with his decision. A child isn't a disposable object and, since it seems that he directly said he wanted a son, what's going to happen when a daughter pops out. His whole plan is disrespectful, whacked out, utterly selfish and horribly immature.
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Old 09-15-2009, 07:39 AM
 
9,807 posts, read 13,451,669 times
Reputation: 8158
Quote:
Originally Posted by lilred0005 View Post
As I mentioned before, they went into the marriage both wanting kids & actually tried at the beginning to have kids. But last year, supposedly because of finances(or lack of), she decided it wasn't a good time to start a family. He wants kids, specifically a son, now and feels money is not a good reason to hold off on starting a family. He kept justifying his plan to mess with her birth control by stating how much he loves her and what a great relationship they have. He felt the ends justified the means. He kept repeating that she would ultimately be grateful he sabotaged the b.c. after she gave birth and "fell in love with the baby". I guess what horrified me as much or more was the responses he got from listeners who called in to the show. One woman called in and was very very angry at his deceptive plans. Two guys called in after and called the angry woman "a crazy bi*ch". At least two guys felt this was a great plan that they all could eventually look back on and be grateful and happy he "took the iniative". Pretty scary, huh?! It's sad when in this day that a woman who loudly speaks up for herself or what she percieves is right is often labled a "crazy bi*ch". He never once mentioned how his wife would even handle a pregnancy and said he would be a perfect father to "his son". I do agree that he has a right to have kids but just not with someone who no longer wants them. Men change their minds often about the right time to have kids but no one labels them "crazy" or "b*tchy". He should just get a divorce and move on but he says he loves her too much to leave her. I do fear for this woman.

The 2nd line explains it all to me.

Maybe instead of sabatoging, he should get his finances in place in order to afford kids.
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:26 AM
 
Location: PA-- and proud!
82 posts, read 176,181 times
Reputation: 83
He does not love her. There's no other relevant facts here, imo. They need a divorce, stat.

My husband and I went into marriage agreeing on no children, but he has changed his mind. Is he a be-otch, too? Nope. He's human. We got married young, and regardless of any pre-agreement, marriage is long, life is long-- change happens. People need to stop being so hung up on what was agreed to before marriage, as if it were an ironclad contract. But I guess if you get married to someone you barely love in order to get something out of it (in this case children), you have nothing else to hang onto.
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Old 09-15-2009, 08:36 AM
 
2,133 posts, read 5,252,263 times
Reputation: 1398
I didn't take the time to read all the responses but OMG!!! I certainly hope that friends of the wife heard this idiot on the radio and have told her what he said. Talk about grounds for divorce! Yikes!
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:10 AM
 
12,106 posts, read 6,685,674 times
Reputation: 12954
Sounds like this guy views his wife as breeding stock. This is what is done to animals when they are artificially inseminated. No way this person is normal - I'm sure there are other problems with him. Reminder to heed those red flags.
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:23 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
3,398 posts, read 7,143,501 times
Reputation: 2845
So long as this authorizes her to have an abortion without telling him. Its asinine to assume that by popping out the kid that she'll love it.
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:24 AM
 
Location: In the real world!
2,178 posts, read 8,477,663 times
Reputation: 2790
I think rather she has children or not is HER choice. She should never be tricked or forced into it. He has the right to have children if he wants them but NOT the right to force/tick HER into having them. I would kill a man that did that to me... or make him wish I had!
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Old 09-15-2009, 09:42 AM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,852 posts, read 8,279,368 times
Reputation: 3997
Despite the fact that I don't agree with what the husband wants to do, I think there is more to the story. Perhaps the wife said she'd think about having kids after marriage, but the husband is twisting it slightly to help his case. You never know the real story.

However, the husband should maybe be introduced to the fact that there are thousands of women out there who are literally aching to have children. Surely he can find someone who would be willing to pop out a few for him. What could be better than two desperate people procreating :P
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