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my best friend in high school was a guy named Bob and we laughed so hard, and so often, and wrote each other hilarious notes every day for years, and talked on the phone every night (to my parents' annoyance, who kept saying "you see each other every day in school, what can you possibly have to talk about every evening on the phone?") and went to movies together, and shopped for music, and went to concerts. I miss him the most.
I guess my former step-father would be at the top of the list right now....
Nice man. Fun as anything. Wasn't fun to live with sometimes as a teen, but once I got into college he really started treating me with respect. I owe a lot to him as he was fair in raising myself and my brother the same as he would/did his own two kids....
Nice man. My mom divorced him long before he died of pancreatic cancer, but I kept in touch with him....
I am sitting her thinking....and the list goes on and on, for so many reasons.....
My 17 year old son who died suddenly 4 years ago in a freak accident.
My best friend who died of throat cancer 6 months after my son.
My mother who died when I was a teen and my dad who does not have his memory at the age of 86. *sigh*
My siblings - I do not live near them.
My dog who died a month before my son, jeez she was a great dog. I like to think she went before him so he wouldn't be lonely as he didn't know anyone who had died.
I have one child left who I've encouraged to go to another state for college so she can live as normal a life as possible for an 18 year old. She is loving life as a college student. It took many years, but I think she is able to move forward without the burden of loss on her mind constantly as it is on ours. And of course I miss her to bits. She was an amazing child before our son died and has grown into such an extraordinary young woman. Her strength and compassion sometimes takes my breath away.
I try to protect her from our grief, it is very destructive. Most parents who have lost a teen that was either their only child or one of just two - live a life consumed in grief. YOU don't know that because we have learned to hide it from the general public. We have all grown very good at keeping the pin down on the hand grenade that is about to explode at any moment. It isn't anyone's fault. People in general, I think are good and compassionate. Most people (except an older sister who has been rejected by our family for doing unkind things to all of us - long story but she's very happy) I feel are really kind and helpful. Most people who have learned of our loss are the first to volunteer at our fund-raisers. Even though I have suffered a loss that has caused obvious wounds, I have found a strength and love in individuals that I did not see before my son died. The generosity that has poured forth has truly opened my eyes to the goodness that we all have inside us. It's amazing to me how much love a stranger can give when faced with a story such as mine. I beleive there is more good inthis world than bad.
Unless you have actually experienced the loss of a beloved child, one cannot understand our grief nor the road we are forced to walk upon. Luckily, grieving parents usually become some of the strongest and greatest advocates for good causes. Perhaps that is what keeps us going?
It's an unfortunate fact of life, no one wants a party pooper around. I know I sure didn't before my son died. I wasn't being unkind when I heard of other children's deaths, it was more of a, "Thank god that didn't happen to my child." Then it did - wow.....
We SEEM to live a normal life, but if you were a fly on the wall... my goodness the things you hear from a grieving parent would frighten you!
What I write is rarely spoken about because it is too painful for even the strongest to discuss. It's not something we dwell on, but the undercurrent of grief is palpable to those of us who live it.
I am sorry for everyone's grief, but there is nothing you can do about it but just learn to deal with it.
I can tell you though, that after a parent has died, it does get easier to deal with as time goes on. The amount of grief one feels about a parent, friend and child are so completely different.
Last edited by JosephCampbell; 09-16-2009 at 10:07 AM..
I miss my brother, who was killed when I was only three. I wish I could have gotten to know his as a great man that I'm sure he would have turned out to be.
I miss my mother, who passed in March of this year. Missing her like crazy for the past 2 days for some reason. I just can't stop thinking about her.
I miss my "daddy", who lives 10 hours away...he's my favorite person in the world!
I miss my Dad. He died 16 yrs. ago. I miss sitting on the porch and listening to baseball games with him. I miss his view of the world and I often find myself thinking "what would Dad say about this".
I miss Tiger, DingaLing, Silky, Mac, Chucky and Titi...all my cats that have passed.
I miss Harry Kalas. It's been tough watching the Phillies with out his voice calling the games.
I miss Jim Johnson of the Eagles. He reminded me of my Dad. Me and my dh always referred to him as "dad" on the side lines. It was something just between the two of us.
My 17 year old son who died suddenly 4 years ago in a freak accident.
My best friend who died of throat cancer 6 months after my son.
My mother who died when I was a teen and my dad who does not have his memory at the age of 86. *sigh*
My siblings - I do not live near them.
My dog who died a month before my son, jeez she was a great dog. I like to think she went before him so he wouldn't be lonely as he didn't know anyone who had died.
I have one child left who I've encouraged to go to another state for college so she can live as normal a life as possible for an 18 year old. She is loving life as a college student. It took many years, but I think she is able to move forward without the burden of loss on her mind constantly as it is on ours. And of course I miss her to bits. She was an amazing child before our son died and has grown into such an extraordinary young woman. Her strength and compassion sometimes takes my breath away.
I try to protect her from our grief, it is very destructive. Most parents who have lost a teen that was either their only child or one of just two - live a life consumed in grief. YOU don't know that because we have learned to hide it from the general public. We have all grown very good at keeping the pin down on the hand grenade that is about to explode at any moment. It isn't anyone's fault. People in general, I think are good and compassionate. Most people (except an older sister who has been rejected by our family for doing unkind things to all of us - long story but she's very happy) I feel are really kind and helpful. Most people who have learned of our loss are the first to volunteer at our fund-raisers. Even though I have suffered a loss that has caused obvious wounds, I have found a strength and love in individuals that I did not see before my son died. The generosity that has poured forth has truly opened my eyes to the goodness that we all have inside us. It's amazing to me how much love a stranger can give when faced with a story such as mine. I beleive there is more good inthis world than bad.
Unless you have actually experienced the loss of a beloved child, one cannot understand our grief nor the road we are forced to walk upon. Luckily, grieving parents usually become some of the strongest and greatest advocates for good causes. Perhaps that is what keeps us going?
It's an unfortunate fact of life, no one wants a party pooper around. I know I sure didn't before my son died. I wasn't being unkind when I heard of other children's deaths, it was more of a, "Thank god that didn't happen to my child." Then it did - wow.....
We SEEM to live a normal life, but if you were a fly on the wall... my goodness the things you hear from a grieving parent would frighten you!
What I write is rarely spoken about because it is too painful for even the strongest to discuss. It's not something we dwell on, but the undercurrent of grief is palpable to those of us who live it.
I am sorry for everyone's grief, but there is nothing you can do about it but just learn to deal with it.
I can tell you though, that after a parent has died, it does get easier to deal with as time goes on. The amount of grief one feels about a parent, friend and child are so completely different.
Sad post.... All I want to say is I feel for your loss.
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Sad post.... All I want to say is I feel for your loss.
