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Old 09-17-2009, 11:36 AM
 
8,468 posts, read 13,658,203 times
Reputation: 7538

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Whyte Byrd View Post
I don't get it, how did you "finish last"?

Any guy who complains about the women he's trying to date not liking 'nice guys' needs to get a clue--YOU are going after the wrong types--the types who like 'bad boys'. The problem isn't they don't know what they want. The problem is YOU don't know what they want. I, for one, happen to love so-called nice guys. Nice doesn't mean whimpy or submissive or anything unmanly. They're stereotyped even by other men.
I agree. If you found a great woman to marry, then you didn't finish last. And I agree that complaining about the women who don't go for nice guys is pointless. If you're a nice guy and a woman would rather be with "the bad boy" or "the cool guy", then she's obviously not the right guy for you. Maybe she'll be happy with that other guy or maybe she'll get hurt and regret passing you up. Even if it's the latter, so what? She could come crawling back saying she made a mistake passing you up, but you shouldn't waste your time on someone on like that. The nice guy label is often equated with being wimpy. Too many nice guys who DO have confidence worry that their niceness will cause them to end up alone. But I say, be proud of being a nice guy, as long as you're not a wimp who lets women walk all over you.
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Old 09-17-2009, 11:49 AM
 
Location: Back in the gym...Yo Adrian!
9,369 posts, read 18,027,925 times
Reputation: 18407
You just have to be yourself and stop tailoring your personality in order to win over women. Eventually the real you will come to the surface, trying to pose as the nice guy, bad boy, dark & mysterious, cool, or any other persona which isn't you, will blow up in your face eventually. Be yourself and wait for the right one to find you, if you're a nice guy don't worry about that "finishing last" B.S. Just because you're nice doesn't mean you have to be a doormat. Some of the baddest dudes I've known were also very nice guys. Niceness stems from confidence.

Last edited by Coolhand68; 09-17-2009 at 12:39 PM..
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Old 09-17-2009, 12:13 PM
 
Location: Southern California
890 posts, read 2,489,773 times
Reputation: 796
No More Mr Nice Guy by Dr Glover is one good definition of "Nice Guy"
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Old 09-17-2009, 12:25 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh's 'EAST SIDE'
2,043 posts, read 4,501,829 times
Reputation: 2666
I let a 'nice guy' get away before, but I don't regret it. He was a door mat. I used to walk all over him.
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Old 09-17-2009, 12:51 PM
 
Location: lala land
1,581 posts, read 2,942,298 times
Reputation: 1082
I don't buy the whole "nice guy" bit. NO ONE is nice all the time! Everyone has their faults. So why label people "nice" and "bad", what's the point?
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Old 09-17-2009, 01:48 PM
 
951 posts, read 1,609,584 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LizCab44 View Post
I don't buy the whole "nice guy" bit. NO ONE is nice all the time! Everyone has their faults. So why label people "nice" and "bad", what's the point?
Admittedly nice is relative and subject to taste.

But bad is BAD.
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Old 09-17-2009, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
1,082 posts, read 2,095,046 times
Reputation: 1261
I used to be one of those "nice guys" whom women wanted to be "just friends" with, even the ones who claimed to be looking for a "nice guy." What I eventually figured out was that there are two types of "nice guy." I was one in the negative sense, in that I lacked self-confidence and was shy and passive around women, even though I was funny and interesting and treated them with respect. Eventually I gained self-confidence and became what is more accurately called a "good man." I'm still funny and interesting and treat women (and men, too) with respect. Seven years ago, in my early 40s, I married a wonderful woman.

I'd say that a "good woman" is someone who is looking for a "good man." She doesn't want a "nice guy" in the wimpy sense, but neither does she want a jerk who will treat her bad. Nor does she want someone she can treat badly.
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Old 09-17-2009, 01:55 PM
 
Location: Avondale, Chicago
14,423 posts, read 26,258,761 times
Reputation: 9459
I'm a nice guy. I make sure she "finishes" first. And she does. Multiple times.

I read somewhere though that many women have a genetic predisposition to jerks over "nice guys" as a holdover from a more primitive time when selfish tendencies meant a better rate of survival. I should look for that article again.
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Old 09-17-2009, 01:57 PM
 
22,769 posts, read 26,236,494 times
Reputation: 14558
Quote:
Originally Posted by jfre81 View Post
I'm a nice guy. I make sure she "finishes" first. And she does. Multiple times.
OMG you are SUCH a bad ass.
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Old 09-17-2009, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Portland, OR
1,082 posts, read 2,095,046 times
Reputation: 1261
Quote:
Originally Posted by WhyShouldIWorry View Post
Admittedly nice is relative and subject to taste.

But bad is BAD.
Exactly. Gandhi, for instance, had his faults. I'm sure Hitler had a few redeeming qualities, or he wouldn't have developed a following. But Gandhi and Hitler were at opposite ends of the "niceness" (in the good sense) spectrum.
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