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Old 09-19-2009, 06:46 PM
 
Location: CA
3,469 posts, read 6,580,458 times
Reputation: 4738

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shizzles View Post
After having read the site, I dunno if these so called "Nice Guys" so much have been shat on, rather than dodged a bullet.

What I see is a bunch of women making up BS rather than being real and saying the nice guys they're posting about probably didn't bring the drama/green/looks they wanted.
Funny how other men don't see it that way, ones who wrote articles for that site also, and funny how they don't have the same dating problems
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Old 09-19-2009, 07:54 PM
 
2,455 posts, read 3,290,457 times
Reputation: 2813
Quote:
Originally Posted by orangeapple View Post
Funny how other men don't see it that way, ones who wrote articles for that site also, and funny how they don't have the same dating problems
I don't see your point. I don't doubt they're alot of guys who feel that way, In fact I know many of them. My point is that when you get down to it, I don't think the types of women on that site were people nice guys should be looking for anyway. Hence the "bullet" comment.

There's nothing wrong with being attracted to bad asses. Many of them are actually cool dudes, but the articles on that site are full of assumptions and half truths. You don't even know these "losers" you're talking about on a personal level as it is. I'm sure if I knew how you were I could come up with some witty comments of my own....
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Old 09-19-2009, 09:55 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 4,922,373 times
Reputation: 2091
Quote:
Originally Posted by mir86 View Post
ditto!

cdubs-actually you sound like a jerk. when I call a guy nice..I mean it. if I don't want to date someone its because I just don't feel "it", not because he's "nice"..so I can certainly feel "it" with a nice guy. Jerks turn me off and I avoid them like the plague. and men who assume women have all kinds of terrible baggage because now they met a nice guy, are even bigger jerks. What's wrong with a woman who is happy to have met a nice man finally? its well appreciated and a compliment to be called "nice". a mature woman appreciates that..especially if she's had poor treatment from men in the past. It means she's learned and doesn't want to be with the same type of man as before..and that is a redeeming quality in any woman and vice versa.
I'm not a jerk, I'm not just saying that. I think you're taking my baggage comment out of context. There are a lot of women who like nice guys and know how to appreciate them. Many of these women are married already.

However, maybe just bad luck for me, but I'd dated some girls who couldn't accept me treating them well. Because they had such douche bag boyfriends in the past, they didn't know how to react to me just being respectful to them or going out of my way to do something nice for them. It wasn't they didn't like me, they just felt guilty or out of place with the nice gestures. They were treated badly for so long they didn't know how to react to kindness.

I'm also not a jerk just because I have a backbone. Just like there are douche bag guys who use women for sex or other wrongful reasons, there are women like that out there as well. And unfortunately, a lot of guys have a hard time realizing they're being played or don't realize it early in the process. It's best to break yourself free from those relationships early on, as hard as it may be, to avoid long term and even more emotional pain than is necessary.
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Old 09-19-2009, 11:26 PM
 
4,804 posts, read 6,678,904 times
Reputation: 3010
Quote:
Originally Posted by cdubs3201 View Post
I'm not a jerk, I'm not just saying that. I think you're taking my baggage comment out of context. There are a lot of women who like nice guys and know how to appreciate them. Many of these women are married already.

However, maybe just bad luck for me, but I'd dated some girls who couldn't accept me treating them well. Because they had such douche bag boyfriends in the past, they didn't know how to react to me just being respectful to them or going out of my way to do something nice for them. It wasn't they didn't like me, they just felt guilty or out of place with the nice gestures. They were treated badly for so long they didn't know how to react to kindness.

I'm also not a jerk just because I have a backbone. Just like there are douche bag guys who use women for sex or other wrongful reasons, there are women like that out there as well. And unfortunately, a lot of guys have a hard time realizing they're being played or don't realize it early in the process. It's best to break yourself free from those relationships early on, as hard as it may be, to avoid long term and even more emotional pain than is necessary.
I'm not married and I can appreciate a nice guy. I've only had one jerk, but I'm lucky that all my guy friends are good men and all my friends boyfriends/husbands are good men as well so I don't freak out when a man treats me well. I just appreciate it a lot more than I did before. but kicking a woman out of bed for calling you nice, like you said in a previous post..is downright cruel, not "nice". she's vulnerable after..you know..and you kick her out??? sick. I can't get over that one. that's what makes you a jerk.

And these women who have been mistreated for so long may welcome a "nice guy" like you if you continued to be "nice" and was patient enough to show her what a catch you say you are. You're right, they're not used to it...so be patient. My best friend was abused for years and her husband did just that..was patient and supportive and now she has a good man and someone who understands her and loves her unconditionally. I'm sure she can be difficult at times for him..but who isn't to their SO? that's life and that's called a relationship. I know I'm not easy to deal with, regardless of my past and I don't expect any future man that shows up in my life to be easy to deal with either, as long as he's an overall good person, that's what matters.
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Old 03-19-2010, 12:47 PM
 
862 posts, read 1,029,319 times
Reputation: 904
Women do like nice guys. They usually finish last but not always. I've been a nice guy my entire life and you guessed it, was always the sucker "guy friend," who's shoulder was there to cry on but was never good enough to be considered a serious partner in an exclusive relationship. Still a nice guy, but I've learned to be no-nonsense over the years which is a beneficial character trait in order to not get used and abused by anyone, male or female. Eliminates the BS of games.

Women just don't like men who are pushovers, have no balls and offer nothing in the form of spontaneous excitement. I have never been a bad boy or a player, but I believe women get high on the "danger factor" that a bad boy type provides. It's like a drug for many of them, and this is why I believe most women prefer bad boys because each bad boy conquest is measured against her previous bad boy, seeking a better "high" than the previous guy. Some women grow out of desiring the bad boy types and want to settle down, start a family and live the married life. Some women never stop wanting the bad boy types trying when to settle down and start a family, only to get divorced because the nice guy they married just isn't bad enough for them. It's kind of like heightist women who have sought the tall, dark and handsome man but settles and marries the short, dark and handsome man, only to divorce that same short, dark and handsome man because they desire tall and nothing else.
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Old 03-19-2010, 03:32 PM
 
4,837 posts, read 7,209,311 times
Reputation: 2964
Quote:
Originally Posted by shortnblack View Post
Women do like nice guys. They usually finish last but not always. I've been a nice guy my entire life and you guessed it, was always the sucker "guy friend," who's shoulder was there to cry on but was never good enough to be considered a serious partner in an exclusive relationship. Still a nice guy, but I've learned to be no-nonsense over the years which is a beneficial character trait in order to not get used and abused by anyone, male or female. Eliminates the BS of games.

Women just don't like men who are pushovers, have no balls and offer nothing in the form of spontaneous excitement. I have never been a bad boy or a player, but I believe women get high on the "danger factor" that a bad boy type provides. It's like a drug for many of them, and this is why I believe most women prefer bad boys because each bad boy conquest is measured against her previous bad boy, seeking a better "high" than the previous guy. Some women grow out of desiring the bad boy types and want to settle down, start a family and live the married life. Some women never stop wanting the bad boy types trying when to settle down and start a family, only to get divorced because the nice guy they married just isn't bad enough for them. It's kind of like heightist women who have sought the tall, dark and handsome man but settles and marries the short, dark and handsome man, only to divorce that same short, dark and handsome man because they desire tall and nothing else.
You sound like the typical nice guy. Somebody for married women to talk to when their husband is uncommunicative. It is amazing how easy married women are to talk to and how difficult the single ones who interest you make this.

What is really interesting is when they go from marriied to divorced. Suddenly, you are scum of the earth again, unless they need something.
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Old 03-19-2010, 03:37 PM
 
1,570 posts, read 3,331,701 times
Reputation: 1059
Quote:
Originally Posted by tejano2828 View Post
I just wanted to start a thread on the "nice guy" that people think finish last (sorry about title) little sleepy.....

All my life since I was very young girls told me I was too nice...

guess they missed getting B%%%% slapped I don't know

anyways....It's always the same girls going for the tough guy or the cool guy and I just want to hear from the men...are you one of those nice guys that did finish last...and girls are you one of those girls that let that "nice guy" get away and are now regretting it.

As for me I did "finish as a nice guy but not last"

Great wife, no awesome wife beautiful on the outside and beautiful on the inside. I have a beautiful 10 year old son with and a nice life...so I'm glad I was a nice person growing up, believe me my wife is very thankful for that...so let's hear it...
Uhmm que como donde?
Be ye nice or not, you'll eventually find someone that likes you for you.
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Old 03-19-2010, 04:19 PM
 
2,618 posts, read 4,922,373 times
Reputation: 2091
If a girl calls me a nice guy I take offense. Now her thinking I'm nice and kind to her is ok, but if a girl every comes out and tells you that you are a nice guy, it's a bad omen. It means you have no sex appeal whatsoever, there's no way they'll ever have sex with you, whether it's because you're unattractive physically or you're weak personality-wise, but you will get nothing from her, ever.

I usually drop a girl immediately if she says this to me, and usually I don't have to do the dropping, if she's telling you you're "nice" then it means she's already dropped you.

Now where I get REALLY pissed is when a girl says to another girl "yeah, he's a really nice guy" then she's basically setting up a major ****-block to other girls by telling them "I have no sexual attraction to this guy at all". Girls subconsiously are attracted to men they can't have, and that multiple other women want. If one woman says she does not desire you at all to other girls, she is having a major negative impact on your sexual value. That's where I draw the line. I've called out women before for saying this garbage about me. They don't see the point until I tell them "how would you appreciate me telling all my male friends that you're a major ****?" and then they usually get the picture.
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Old 03-19-2010, 10:32 PM
 
Location: Hawaii
2,058 posts, read 2,654,199 times
Reputation: 1566
Confidence. A man needs confidence. "Bad boys" always have confidence, even if it's just a front. If you are nice and have confidence: you win!
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Old 03-19-2010, 11:10 PM
 
Location: The High Seas
6,682 posts, read 11,812,470 times
Reputation: 9566
Somebody probably already beat me to it, but it's true. Nice guys do finish last. It's the considerate thing to do.
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