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I think there are some gay men that are either in denial or just don't want to come out of the closet and play it straight. Unless he is flamboyant they can often pass as straight.
Sometimes the guys don't know they're gay, they don't sort through all their feelings, societal programming, parental expectations, etc. until after they're married awhile. Others just go along to get along. Until they can't anymore.
This is a complex and painful issue for the people involved, deserving of more than just a flippant OP-question.
Yes I thought it was extremely flippant. When I married my gay husband, I wasn't exactly a virgin to start with--I came of age in the 70's after all (and the times were every bit as fun as people say they were!) If they are gay and don't want you to know and never act on it or get caught if they do, you won't know. I realize this is a bit scary for singles thinking of marriage, but let's hope that society has progressed enough to make these things less likely in the future and I am all for gay marriage. 100%. I'm also all for divorce--thank God we have that option and my life would be a living hell right now if we didn't.
You see...you do have to 'test drive' before knowing whether you prefer 'automatic' or 'manual'...
K
Took him out for a test drive--everything seemed to be working normally, but then a 25 yo man can get it up for almost any reason--a 50 yo man not so much and that's when his cover was blown.
In the case of some freinds of ours, she was somewhat naive and he targeted her in college because of that. He wanted a certain career that he thought would be easier to obtain if he had a wife and kids so he ended up doing that for about 5-6 years while doing some things on the side with men for most of that time, then came out to her and they divorced.
Took him out for a test drive--everything seemed to be working normally, but then a 25 yo man can get it up for almost any reason--a 50 yo man not so much and that's when his cover was blown.
Exactly. If they married young, it's easy because us young guys are turned on by pretty much everything.
Also, just because a guy is gay doesn't mean that having sex with a woman would gross him out. The thought of having sex with a woman does not gross me out, I'm just not turned on by it. I'm indifferent. A lot of other gay guys are the same way and therefore it would be easy to marry a woman because you can just think of something else!
Because these guys are not really gay, they are straight or bisexual at best, but they play a certain game - being a metrosexual -that a certain kind of women adore.
Example : a friend of my former wife, who was a reporter in a Gay magazine, played being gay, dressed as a gay, went to gay bars - but he married and had 2 children .
In fact he was straight (well, maybe he had one gay experience or two just to be accepted in gay circles), and his wife and other intimate friends/family knew all along it was a charade just to be able to make a career in the gay press !
What ???? He had gay experiences to fit in ??? That is theee dumbest thing I've ever heard. Don't get me wrong tons of gay friends. Gay roomate even but really I would NEVER have sex with a woman to fit in. Dumb dumb dumb. P.s. my gay roomate agrees with me.
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Back then these young men would've felt pressured into marrying...I do wonder how they'd coped with the sex part. Think of hot guys while having sex with your wife? lol.
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Well...
