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Old 10-16-2010, 04:51 AM
 
Location: USA
2,593 posts, read 3,555,961 times
Reputation: 2222

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Yes, right now in fact. I'm officially getting separated here soon.
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Old 10-16-2010, 05:01 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,762 posts, read 18,649,330 times
Reputation: 24245
Oh yes I have and it took me almost five years to get over it and dont know if I ever did . This man was emotionally abusive and I think that is something you just dont ever get over .
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Old 10-16-2010, 06:55 AM
 
Location: The Island of Misfit Toys
2,767 posts, read 2,288,704 times
Reputation: 2343
Always politely and amicably put an end to a good acquaintance or friendship early, while all is well. That way they will be left with a happy impression of you and you of them. Maintained too long, all friendships eventually fall into ugliness.

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Old 10-16-2010, 09:14 PM
 
Location: Coastal New Jersey
55,439 posts, read 54,065,569 times
Reputation: 65478
Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
Oh yes I have and it took me almost five years to get over it and dont know if I ever did . This man was emotionally abusive and I think that is something you just dont ever get over .
I agree, sad as that is. I've been divorced from an emotional abuser for a long time, and most of the time I think I got over it. I'm definitely not the same person who allowed him to treat me that way, that's for sure. However, we are still in contact because we have a daughter, and while we are pretty civil to each other and even laugh over things together, those bad memories seem to surface every so often.

For example, I was reading something last year about jettisoning old crap in your life and in your mind that drags you down, and they had an exercise to perform about letting go of old anger by writing a letter to the person who did you wrong, then forgiving them and tearing it up, thereby ridding yourself of those old negative feelings. So I did. I wrote the letter to my ex telling him I forgave him for all the evil rotten things he ever did and said to me, blah blah blah, and when I was done I stared at what I wrote and said, "F" that, I don't forgive him. He's not one bit sorry for anything he ever did, he was wrong, and he hurt me badly and is not getting a pass from me on that. I ripped the stupid letter up and threw it away, and I did laugh at myself for my reaction. I know I "should" forgive him, but I really just don't. That bastard had no right to treat me the way he did. At least I don't wish him dead all the time anymore. That's progress!
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Old 10-17-2010, 01:33 AM
 
1,160 posts, read 2,059,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801 View Post
For example, I was reading something last year about jettisoning old crap in your life ... and they had an exercise to perform about letting go of old anger by writing a letter to the person who did you wrong, then forgiving them and tearing it up, thereby ridding yourself of those old negative feelings. So I did. ... when I was done I stared at what I wrote and said, "F" that, I don't forgive him. He's not one bit sorry for anything he ever did... I ripped the stupid letter up and threw it away, and I did laugh at myself for my reaction. I know I "should" forgive him, but I really just don't ... At least I don't wish him dead all the time anymore. That's progress!
People like that probably don't care if you forgive them. And that's the sad part about it.

I've only had one experience that really changed me, but it was not what I'd call a normal relationship. I'll always be suspicious of people. Not just men, people in general, because now I know what they're capable of doing. I had no clue.
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Old 10-17-2010, 09:25 AM
 
Location: Way up high
14,115 posts, read 20,798,710 times
Reputation: 14385
Yes
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Old 10-17-2010, 03:35 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,354,537 times
Reputation: 8028
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
I don't think it damaged me it simply made me value being single. I never really spent more than a few months with anyone for a good 13 years after. I do have a good memory. The loss of freedom is bad enough with a good person but with a bad person or a mediocre person its not worth it.
In that relationship I had between 18-21 I don't remember the orgasms, but I do remember hearing a phone ring and knowing that I didn't have to answer it. I still feel swamped with endorphins every time I think about it.
True, and so many people are stuck in this type of relationship.
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Old 10-17-2010, 03:51 PM
 
43 posts, read 52,770 times
Reputation: 59
Default Yes

I can can say with profound certainty that I have never nor will I ever hurt another soul in the manner in which my last boyfriend mistreated me...no happy ending for him, not ever.
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Old 10-17-2010, 04:00 PM
 
1,160 posts, read 2,059,007 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by MySweetLips View Post
I can can say with profound certainty that I have never nor will I ever hurt another soul in the manner in which my last boyfriend mistreated me...no happy ending for him, not ever.
I know the feeling. After my experience, I wondered how that man could live with what he did not just to me, but many other women. The guilt and shame would eat me alive. But, I was dealing with someone without a conscience and the ability to feel normal emotions.

I haven't always said and done the "right" things in a relationship. I realize that just by breaking things off, that was hurtful enough. But I would take myself out of the general population before I did what was done to me.
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