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Old 09-17-2009, 06:12 PM
 
Location: CITY OF ANGELS AND CONSTANT DANGER
5,409 posts, read 11,319,233 times
Reputation: 2245

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grow up.

breaking up four time in a six month relationship is not healthy.

lesson learned.

you need to be mature in relationships.

this was destined to fail.

Quote:
Originally Posted by bigdave01 View Post
Bleh, well this was my first long term relationship. I was with her for about 6 months, and we just broke up last night and I am just totally heartbroken today, I feel so alone. I know thats probably normal, and she was a big part of my life I saw her basically every day, and I definitely still want to be friends but its just not the same. Its also really hard just because she was the person I talked to about everything and now I just kind of feel alone.

Well we've definitely had some relationship problems in the past, we've actually broken up like 4 times and gotten back together the next day lol, but this times a lot different. We are definitely very different in a lot of ways, but we are similar in some. I definitely did love her, I was just always deciding if it would ever work, IDK. In a lot of ways she was like my dream girl, but then there were just some major differences between us. I'll admit 2 huge negatives for me were: I like to smoke weed very occasionally, and she wouldn't allow that which I really hated. I just found it weird, for some reason she just really hated it while at the same time she drinks more than me though still very occasionally. So just the other night I talked to her about maybe compromising on that issue and she just didnt agree. Also, we've been together for 6 months and haven't really gone past kissing. Which I know Im a total ass, but it just drives me nuts. And she said that wouldn't change anytime soon.

She suffers from pretty severe depression and has a disease(we think) called fibromyalgia where she is basically always sore. And I just felt terrible for her, because it really affected her daily life and she never reacted well w/ stress and unfortunately had a lot of it. But that definitely affected us a lot because she would go through short periods where she didnt want to talk to or see me, and that just really hurt. And a lot of times she just wouldnt feel like doing anything. Plus, she has a bad temper and we get in fights a lot, which Im not used to at all, because Im usually pretty laid back. IDK...we have a lot of similar goals in life, but then at the same time are just sorta fundamentally different and I was just worried the longer we stay together the harder it will be to break up. Plus, I really do think Im a terrible person because the weed and sex things were also a big part.

IDK, I guess I dont even know why I just wrote that. Id just like some advice, and maybe to see what people would say.
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Old 09-17-2009, 07:29 PM
 
Location: Mississippi
439 posts, read 816,320 times
Reputation: 468
There is a difference between the weed and the drinking, and that difference is legality. Did she demand you give up smoking altogether, or just when you were with her? Because I wouldn't put up with anybody smoking mary j around me (don't care if they do it somewhere else on their own). I don't wanna be busted and, having earned an arrest record, never be able to work in my field again.

How old are you guys? If she's a virgin, she's might not be so willing to jump into a sexual relationship after only 6 months. Which can be a good idea.

The fighting and breaking up is not a great forecast for the future either.
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Old 09-17-2009, 07:32 PM
 
25,812 posts, read 32,797,260 times
Reputation: 31729
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
I would say to just let this one go. It doesn`t sound like you two have that much in common anyway. I also would not recommend the "just being friends" at least for awhile.
Exactly what Yankee said.
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Old 09-17-2009, 08:20 PM
 
720 posts, read 1,267,900 times
Reputation: 639
That was way too long for me to read....sorry, good luck with whatever your issue is....
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:29 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,119,644 times
Reputation: 26518
You're young, it's a girl, you've broken up and got back together several times, there are issues and you're trying to sort out the issues. All part of growing up (I know you probably hate to hear this because it's what old people say and makes no sense to you right now) but true. Six months really isn't a long time.

Dry the tears, don't overanalyze everything, learn from it and go ahead with your life.

She may be the first love but she certainly won't be the last. I know that sounds such a cliché but it's so true.

And, by the way, not going beyond kissing in a 6 month relationship where you've broken up four times doesn't make you any sort of an ass. It actually makes you a very responsible and thinking young man. Don't listen to your peers because they're all full of hoopla and bravado anyway where their hormones are concerned and think that doing a girl affords them reps. NOT! And they lie anyway!

It'll all work out and your emphasis right now needs to be on yourself, studying to the best of your ability and looking forward to the future where, through education and continual learning, you can reach whatever goals you've set for yourself. Good luck!
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:30 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,119,644 times
Reputation: 26518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Odie View Post
That was way too long for me to read....sorry, good luck with whatever your issue is....
Why did you bother to respond if you can't be bothered to read?
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:31 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 4,194,003 times
Reputation: 2267
You sound like a jerk to me. I didnt read any of the replies in this thread...or the OP for that matter.
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:33 PM
 
Location: Pa
42,628 posts, read 44,075,495 times
Reputation: 24962
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason28 View Post
You sound like a jerk to me. I didnt read any of the replies in this thread...or the OP for that matter.
Jason meet Odie..
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:34 PM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 58,119,644 times
Reputation: 26518
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason28 View Post
You sound like a jerk to me. I didnt read any of the replies in this thread...or the OP for that matter.
Another late night idiot. Don't you have anything constructive to do?
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Old 09-17-2009, 09:36 PM
 
2,191 posts, read 4,194,003 times
Reputation: 2267
Quote:
Originally Posted by STT Resident View Post
Another late night idiot. Don't you have anything constructive to do?
Late night idiot, huh? Ever heard of time zones moron?
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