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Old 09-17-2009, 04:16 PM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA
1,196 posts, read 4,341,328 times
Reputation: 606

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Bleh, well this was my first long term relationship. I was with her for about 6 months, and we just broke up last night and I am just totally heartbroken today, I feel so alone. I know thats probably normal, and she was a big part of my life I saw her basically every day, and I definitely still want to be friends but its just not the same. Its also really hard just because she was the person I talked to about everything and now I just kind of feel alone.

Well we've definitely had some relationship problems in the past, we've actually broken up like 4 times and gotten back together the next day lol, but this times a lot different. We are definitely very different in a lot of ways, but we are similar in some. I definitely did love her, I was just always deciding if it would ever work, IDK. In a lot of ways she was like my dream girl, but then there were just some major differences between us. I'll admit 2 huge negatives for me were: I like to smoke weed very occasionally, and she wouldn't allow that which I really hated. I just found it weird, for some reason she just really hated it while at the same time she drinks more than me though still very occasionally. So just the other night I talked to her about maybe compromising on that issue and she just didnt agree. Also, we've been together for 6 months and haven't really gone past kissing. Which I know Im a total ass, but it just drives me nuts. And she said that wouldn't change anytime soon.

She suffers from pretty severe depression and has a disease(we think) called fibromyalgia where she is basically always sore. And I just felt terrible for her, because it really affected her daily life and she never reacted well w/ stress and unfortunately had a lot of it. But that definitely affected us a lot because she would go through short periods where she didnt want to talk to or see me, and that just really hurt. And a lot of times she just wouldnt feel like doing anything. Plus, she has a bad temper and we get in fights a lot, which Im not used to at all, because Im usually pretty laid back. IDK...we have a lot of similar goals in life, but then at the same time are just sorta fundamentally different and I was just worried the longer we stay together the harder it will be to break up. Plus, I really do think Im a terrible person because the weed and sex things were also a big part.

IDK, I guess I dont even know why I just wrote that. Id just like some advice, and maybe to see what people would say.
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:35 PM
 
Location: North Carolina
1,077 posts, read 3,146,785 times
Reputation: 891
I'm confused. I don't see why you would be a jerk. Did you break-up with her because you wanted to smoke weed and wanted sex or did she break up with you because you wouldn't stop smoking weed and wanted sex?

If yall broke up 4 times in only 6 months then I got a feeling it's not going to work out. Find a partner that likes the reefer then you can smoke together. Theres a dream girl out there that likes to smoke.

Drinking is a lot worse for your health than weed is and more dangerous. If I had been dating a girl for only 6 months, she wouldn't be "allowing" me to do anything thats for damn sure.
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:37 PM
 
Location: East Valley, AZ
3,852 posts, read 8,283,200 times
Reputation: 3997
Read this:

"I can't do any better."
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Michigan--good on the rocks
2,544 posts, read 3,591,161 times
Reputation: 1940
You seriously just chose weed over your dream girl?

The fighting to me would be the biggest issue. All the others could be worked out. Have you approached her in a non-confrontational manner about that? Tell her how you feel about it, that you aren't comfortable with fighting, etc.

OTH, if you really think you can never meet on these issues, then just move along. The emptiness you feel will be reduced or filled by something/someone else eventually.

IMO, "lets still be friends" never works. Just move on.
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:40 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,225 posts, read 22,606,209 times
Reputation: 24023
I would say to just let this one go. It doesn`t sound like you two have that much in common anyway. I also would not recommend the "just being friends" at least for awhile.
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:44 PM
 
Location: The Hall of Justice
25,906 posts, read 36,339,155 times
Reputation: 42508
I agree with gman.
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Old 09-17-2009, 04:44 PM
 
Location: Wu Dang Mountain
12,941 posts, read 19,341,255 times
Reputation: 8667
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
... I also would not recommend the "just being friends" at least for awhile.
Agreed. It usually doesn't work out quite like in the movies...
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Old 09-17-2009, 05:02 PM
 
Location: Sacramento, CA
1,196 posts, read 4,341,328 times
Reputation: 606
IDK though I think it might. We were friends before, and she's really good friends with my best friend.

Thanks everyone for the advice.
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Old 09-17-2009, 05:44 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 18,630,778 times
Reputation: 5464
Quote:
Originally Posted by yankeegirl313 View Post
I would say to just let this one go. It doesn`t sound like you two have that much in common anyway. I also would not recommend the "just being friends" at least for awhile.

Sometimes just being "friends" does not work.
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Old 09-17-2009, 05:56 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,225 posts, read 22,606,209 times
Reputation: 24023
Right! Being friends will definetly not work.....especially if you are trying to get over her.
As for her being friends with your BF, I would just lay low for awhile, from both of them. Good Luck!!
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