Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Lol a lot of younger people here will be aghast, "60 is young????"
60 sounds a ruin to 20-30 somethings. It's a matter of perspective. I think we are now at the age when 80 sounds a ruinous age. But wait what we will think in 15-20 years.
Older people can still "do things", maybe not exactly the same things as when they were 20-50, but they are not changing into morons (apart from diseases). Again, the quote from my previous post (don't you think these are "things to do"? )
"Michelangelo did some of his best painting when past 80; Goethe wrote when past 80; Edison was still inventing at 92... Frank Lloyd Wright at 90 was considered the most creative architect; Shaw was still writing plays at 90; Grandma Moses began painting at 79, etc., etc. "
I have fallen in love with a man who is 60 and I am 40. I have no fears as to age and aging. I enjoy his company beyond belief. He is afraid he will not be able to please me and may get old. Surprise surprise. I understand how difficult it could be. I have no children he 2 20 years younger than me. Please anyone tell me your feelings about this. Am I crazy is he right?
20 years does seem like a little much. Consider this: When he is 65 and becomes a senior, you will only be 45 years old. How will you possibly relate to what it feels like to be a senior?? Chances are, your parents will probably relate to him on a lot of topics better than you will, and that is natural. People close in age tend to relate better. How, for example, could you guys reminisce about growing up and have much common ground?? At 40, you have teen memories from the eighties, and kid memories from the seventies. These same memories, for him, will be from, respectively, the sixties and the fifties. I don't know about you, but to me (I'm close to your age), the sixties, and especially the fifties, seem really old, and really cheesy. When the older folks reminisce about this period, it all sounds so foreign to me. This is probably natural, though, as I'm too young to remember either decade. Your associative memories of different points in your life would just be too different, IMO, to really relate. To him, I'd think you'd just be a kid, and to you, I'd think that he'd seem a little old. This is just how life works with this stuff, at least for most of us.
My boyfriend is 63, I am 38. I do not worry about the tomorrows'. I am aware, not concerned. I could be with someone else in 6 months or I could be dead. I'm just basking in the fact that I found someone who treats me very good for the now, the now is all I have to work with without jumping ahead of myself.
And I dated younger 24 went out with an 18 yr old. I know I know stupid me. I even had to pay for the haunted hayride we went on..lol. Always for now on note to self make sure he has a job. i will go dutch but not pay all.
Often I think people expend too much effort planning their lives however I do believe "hope for the best, prepare for the worse".
I think once people go past the age of having children or have had their children, the age differences don't matter. Being in a fulfilling relationship is a big bonus in life.
It's very easy to say well you are 40 he's 60 and likely he will have health problems before you do. Certainly a real possibility. However the 40 yr old could get cancer and drop dead in a year.
No one knows so I think all you can do is find someone you enjoy being with and run with it.
Ride it out and enjoy but it will make a difference in your life in about 2-3 years from now. Some not so romantic conversations need to be had like your assumed responsibility as caregiver when he gets sick and how you'll manage that while trying to retire or complete your responsibilities at your age. Age does matter. Good luck.
DON'T DO IT! My husband is 22 years older than me and we have 3 kids. He's 63 and I'm 41, and our oldest is 10. This is his 3rd marriage and believe me, I now know why that is. He's a self-centered ass, yells at the kids all the time, complains about not having a life, etc. etc. The older he gets, the worse it gets.
Although you don't have kids in the picture, I still highly recommend finding someone closer to your age. I think you will eventually regret being with him, as his health will begin to go and you will become resentful becoming his nursemaid. You will also find it hard to have mutual couple friends that you have anything in common with. You have a long life ahead of you; don't waste it on something that feels right momentarily.
I wish I had listened to that advice 12 years ago. My mom told me not to marry my husband and she was RIGHT, as usual. He's one year younger than my mom!
Do you find 28 & 43 weird? It's a 15 year difference, but I am experiencing something similar to OP. Only problem is the guy wont date me seriously b/c he doesn't want kids and feels like I will...and he feels like he cna't give me the future that I want and deserve...but I want to date him and I don't care about kids thing...I just want to be happy and know that he would make me that way.
Well, I am in a similar sitauation AND...I am the older man. The lady is 32 and 1 am 56. 24 years difference in age. Now, if I did not have the cultural, intellectual, actual, familial, political, historical, spiritual and practical background that is very broad, I would say stick to being with someone no more than 10 years older. This would seem reasonable to manage. My dad was 11 years older than mom so I saw how the two of them handled things and they seemed to go rather well. In the colonial period of America, it was not uncommon for a man to be 25 years older than his bride. Patrick Henry who said "Give me liberty or give me death," was married to a woman 19 years younger than himself. I guess he found liberty, didn't he? Dreamseeker54
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
" 
)
