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Old 09-18-2009, 05:37 PM
 
Location: southern california
55,679 posts, read 74,671,253 times
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Old 09-18-2009, 05:39 PM
 
1,008 posts, read 1,859,909 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msboom View Post
I always thought that once you have sex with a guy, he will disappear on you. So I always make them wait even though I want to do things earlier. How important is regular sex to a man, my new understanding is most of them hope you'll do it again (and again and again.) Sorry to sound clueless , but is this the main reason guys even have girlfriends?
How important are food, water and oxygen to you?
 
Old 09-18-2009, 05:51 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,569,424 times
Reputation: 3747
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you that it depends on a man...Very sexual men for example, will not be up for these games. It also depends on the age, when a man is older like in his 30s, he might even question and get insulted how come after like 4-5 dates she still hasn't put out. At this age, these type of prolongings and games are not necessary, it's not college anymore. Okay - this is when the relationship is just starting.

Once you already had sex with a man, I think it's safe to say he will expect it on a regular basis. All the time, every day and every night. I also don't see a reason to withhold it. If the heat is there, the heat is there. Why hold off?
If holding off is your way to see if this man is just in it for sex, then you will see it regardless. Decent guy who is into you and really wants to build something with you will not hold "lots of sex" against you. A player will dissappear. In this case, you can say: Oh well, I enjoyed it to the fullest and had fun...moving on...
I mean, my understanding that you want it too, right? Life is too short, you will know if he is a good one without withholding sex.
At the end of the day, there are other ways to make a man to be continuously interested in you. Intellectually. You can stimulate man's mind and that will keep his interest. A lot of the successful sex comes from intellectual connection anyway.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. There is nothing enjoyable or fun about having sex when the goals for having sex are different.

This is exactly why I don't have sex early. I'm not a sex toy. I only want sex within the confines of a relationship. I've gotten caught twice by people pretending they wanted a relationship when they only wanted sex. A man now has to prove he wants what I want; if he doesn't stick around, there's my answer.

There's nothing wrong with making sure that your goals and his are the same. It will save you a lot of heartache in the end.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 05:58 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,419,408 times
Reputation: 8031
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. There is nothing enjoyable or fun about having sex when the goals for having sex are different.

This is exactly why I don't have sex early. I'm not a sex toy. I only want sex within the confines of a relationship. I've gotten caught twice by people pretending they wanted a relationship when they only wanted sex. A man now has to prove he wants what I want; if he doesn't stick around, there's my answer.

There's nothing wrong with making sure that your goals and his are the same. It will save you a lot of heartache in the end.
I don't like this: "wrong, wrong, wrong". All people are different. I'm expressing my opinion and how I looked at things when I was single. Perhaps OP doesn't share my views, but it doesn't mean it's wrong. I always looked at things SIMPLE. I never overcomplicated my life with thoughts such as: what are his intentions? what are his goals? You know why? Because I knew that sooner or later I will know. In the meantime, let me enjoy my life to the fullest and not worry about: is he serious, is he not serious.
Besides - I love sex just like any other men. I enjoyed having sexual relations without having to think too much about the future. I only had 6 sexual partners prior to my husband, but that has more to do with me being very selective, I don't get turned on by majority of men.

So - this was my take on OP's situation. Life is too short to play games, life is there to enjoy it, live it to the fullest, otherwise it will pass by in worries: "what are his intentions"

Oh, and another thing. This victim mentality of women: "I'm not a sex toy. Oh, he slept with me and wasn't serious...blah blah blah"... I never felt that way. If I had sex with someone, it was a very consious decision. I knew that I'm going in without a ring, without a promise, fully jumping into that water willingly. If it didn't work out, so be it. I also enjoyed myself and that's it. Sex is the most natural thing in the world and I went for it. That's why I don't have that many regrets, although I have also made mistakes.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 06:07 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,569,424 times
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Just as you are entitled to your opinion, I am mine.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 06:09 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,419,408 times
Reputation: 8031
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
Just as you are entitled to your opinion, I am mine.
That's okay, I never said your opinion was Wrong, Wrong, Wrong.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 06:34 PM
 
Location: New England
1,134 posts, read 2,070,075 times
Reputation: 1986
Sex on a regular basis is real important to me. Without it, I am an unhappy married man. Lately the sex has been bad (no passion on her part), and I sometimes think I am better off without it. I can't win.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 07:30 PM
 
Location: Wyoming
9,421 posts, read 17,414,188 times
Reputation: 14102
I think age makes a big difference, but each guy, regardless of his age, has his own feelings about "regular" sex.

When I was a teenager I didn't expect sex right away, but after I found myself single in my late 40s and early 50s it was a different story. If I didn't have sex with a woman the first time we got together, she was off the romance list. I figured we'd both know immediately if we were attracted and there was no point in putting off intimacy.

I did have a number of "just friends" girlfriends. Some would have preferred we had a romantic relationship and there was one that I'd have preferred romance, but nothing ever evolved from platonic to romantic after that first date.

There was one date that turned out horrible when the gal's little dog ran off during our first date. I went back the next day to help her look for the dog. Neither meeting lent itself to romance, but she called back and wanted to make it up to me with a "weekend filled with no-holds-barred, red hot monkey sex." That sounded good to me, but she called the night before our date and cancelled. She wasn't ready yet. **Crossed off the list**

Single guys in their 40-50s who want sex get plenty of it. I wasn't much of a catch, and I still was kept busy by too many lonely women. I'd guess most men feel like I did -- no interest in playing childish games. I figured I had one date to interest a gal, and she had one date to interest me.

Then again, I might have been that way simply because my first wife cut me off from sex for the last half of our marriage, and there was no way I was going to fall for another gal who didn't convince me that she enjoyed sex.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 07:34 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,433 posts, read 29,514,359 times
Reputation: 19626
Quote:
Originally Posted by pigeonhole View Post
Life is too short, you will know if he is a good one without withholding sex.

I'm the one who witholds sex with my wife.
I love her, but she just doesn't turn me on, no luck.
I'd rather masturbate watching MILF movies.
...wait , what's that banging on the door? the Cops already ?
Are you married? I thought you were the one trying to hook up with that woman in prison....
 
Old 09-18-2009, 07:37 PM
 
Location: Florida
7,269 posts, read 9,423,840 times
Reputation: 6015
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Oh, and another thing. This victim mentality of women: "I'm not a sex toy. Oh, he slept with me and wasn't serious...blah blah blah"...
The thing I find most amusing when other women say this sort of stuff - it's like they did not get anything out of it at all. Like someone stuck batteries in them involuntarily and used them against there will.

No disrespect to BOB, of course.
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