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Old 09-18-2009, 07:48 PM
 
Location: Miami, FL
3,441 posts, read 5,004,641 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by msboom View Post
I always thought that once you have sex with a guy, he will disappear on you. So I always make them wait even though I want to do things earlier. How important is regular sex to a man, my new understanding is most of them hope you'll do it again (and again and again.) Sorry to sound clueless , but is this the main reason guys even have girlfriends?
Do you enjoy sex with men? I am assuming you are not a virgin.

 
Old 09-18-2009, 08:15 PM
 
12,344 posts, read 13,582,660 times
Reputation: 14337
Quote:
Originally Posted by msboom View Post
I always thought that once you have sex with a guy, he will disappear on you. So I always make them wait even though I want to do things earlier. How important is regular sex to a man, my new understanding is most of them hope you'll do it again (and again and again.) Sorry to sound clueless , but is this the main reason guys even have girlfriends?
Yes.

Yes.

..and yes!

I'm telling you ladies if it weren't for sex...men would be fishing and hunting and drinking 24/7. You wouldn't be a thought. Trust me.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 09:06 PM
 
17,751 posts, read 15,652,113 times
Reputation: 6391
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
Well, I'm not a man, but I can tell you that it depends on a man...Very sexual men for example, will not be up for these games. It also depends on the age, when a man is older like in his 30s, he might even question and get insulted how come after like 4-5 dates she still hasn't put out. At this age, these type of prolongings and games are not necessary, it's not college anymore. Okay - this is when the relationship is just starting.

Once you already had sex with a man, I think it's safe to say he will expect it on a regular basis. All the time, every day and every night. I also don't see a reason to withhold it. If the heat is there, the heat is there. Why hold off?
If holding off is your way to see if this man is just in it for sex, then you will see it regardless. Decent guy who is into you and really wants to build something with you will not hold "lots of sex" against you. A player will dissappear. In this case, you can say: Oh well, I enjoyed it to the fullest and had fun...moving on...
I mean, my understanding that you want it too, right? Life is too short, you will know if he is a good one without withholding sex.
At the end of the day, there are other ways to make a man to be continuously interested in you. Intellectually. You can stimulate man's mind and that will keep his interest. A lot of the successful sex comes from intellectual connection anyway.
Hi max's mama,

I going to disagree with you here. Men in their 30s are already beginning to be a concentrated pool of uncommitted men. That's why they are more likely to expect sex sooner. There may still be a lot of men who will not hold it against you but you also run the risk of someone looking to hook up for awhile but leave their options open. I was one of these men but I was not willing to commit for other reasons like a brothers divorce, building a career etc. However for me it did not matter to have sex immediately because I was committing to the long term and knew I would get it. I believe I was unusual in this group. I went celibate at 25 I began to exhibit picky high investment behavior.

There is a reason that a man is available at an older age especially never married. Its because he has not wanted to commit. For me the monogamous male it was because the stakes were much higher. I became as fickle as a more biologically bound women. If a man in his 30s wants sex by the 5th date the odds are very high he'll be gone in 5 years compared to another who waits 6 months or a year. Its because he is willing to overlook the short term restricted diet. A man who wants it sooner is a mixed bag of the impatient but committed and uncommitted. If I wanted to hop around from bed to bed there is no way I would waste a year on one girl.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 09:36 PM
 
Location: SE Michigan
969 posts, read 2,290,704 times
Reputation: 499
Not as important as freaky, knock the lamp over, animal sex.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 09:36 PM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,413,256 times
Reputation: 8031
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Hi max's mama,

I going to disagree with you here. Men in their 30s are already beginning to be a concentrated pool of uncommitted men. That's why they are more likely to expect sex sooner. There may still be a lot of men who will not hold it against you but you also run the risk of someone looking to hook up for awhile but leave their options open. I was one of these men but I was not willing to commit for other reasons like a brothers divorce, building a career etc. However for me it did not matter to have sex immediately because I was committing to the long term and knew I would get it. I believe I was unusual in this group. I went celibate at 25 I began to exhibit picky high investment behavior.

There is a reason that a man is available at an older age especially never married. Its because he has not wanted to commit. For me the monogamous male it was because the stakes were much higher. I became as fickle as a more biologically bound women. If a man in his 30s wants sex by the 5th date the odds are very high he'll be gone in 5 years compared to another who waits 6 months or a year. Its because he is willing to overlook the short term restricted diet. A man who wants it sooner is a mixed bag of the impatient but committed and uncommitted. If I wanted to hop around from bed to bed there is no way I would waste a year on one girl.
It's not necessary that a man in his 30's is an uncommited bachelor. A lot of men in 30's are divorced or just had a bad luck in a relationship. Perhaps, as a man, you understand male psychology better, but I beg to differ. First of all, sex on the 5th date is not out of ordinary. I mean seriously. It's not wanting to bang on a 1st date. Men in their 30's simply don't have this time to waste. Those men who want themselves a wife need to know if sex is good as soon as possible. All this prolonged dating without sex for months is more of a younger adults thing. Who wants a short term restricted diet? It doesn't make any sense to me.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 09:38 PM
 
Location: Incognito
7,005 posts, read 18,632,672 times
Reputation: 5464
It is somewhat important. It dictates the kind of mood I will be in the following day.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 10:01 PM
 
720 posts, read 1,271,510 times
Reputation: 639
OH lord...what??? Huh??? I'm not even gonna comment on any of this..... *glares*
 
Old 09-18-2009, 10:05 PM
FBJ
 
Location: Tall Building down by the river
39,615 posts, read 50,320,986 times
Reputation: 9451
Quote:
Originally Posted by msboom View Post
I always thought that once you have sex with a guy, he will disappear on you. So I always make them wait even though I want to do things earlier. How important is regular sex to a man, my new understanding is most of them hope you'll do it again (and again and again.) Sorry to sound clueless , but is this the main reason guys even have girlfriends?
I'm not that way and wouldn't need sex everyday just because I'm in a relationship.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 10:08 PM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,564,823 times
Reputation: 3747
Quote:
Originally Posted by JeepGirl118 View Post
The thing I find most amusing when other women say this sort of stuff - it's like they did not get anything out of it at all. Like someone stuck batteries in them involuntarily and used them against there will.

No disrespect to BOB, of course.
What is there get to out of man simply using you for sexual gratification? The couple of times it's happened I got the only thing there is to get out of such an encounter: feeling used.

If you only want casual sex and you agree to it, that's a completely different conversation.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 10:23 PM
 
9,830 posts, read 19,581,819 times
Reputation: 7604
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
It's not necessary that a man in his 30's is an uncommited bachelor. A lot of men in 30's are divorced or just had a bad luck in a relationship. Perhaps, as a man, you understand male psychology better, but I beg to differ. First of all, sex on the 5th date is not out of ordinary. I mean seriously. It's not wanting to bang on a 1st date. Men in their 30's simply don't have this time to waste. Those men who want themselves a wife need to know if sex is good as soon as possible. All this prolonged dating without sex for months is more of a younger adults thing. Who wants a short term restricted diet? It doesn't make any sense to me.
Pretty close to what I would say. I'm in my 30's now but I didn't purposefully seek out uncommitted relationships. I was living in ski resorts for too long with a high turnover of people. I just haven't found the right person I have wanted to legally sign my life over to yet.

And it is true at least for us men and definitely me, I don't waste time with game playing or other nonsense. When I was younger I was willing to be strung along a bit(and I'm not talking explicitly about sex either), now if there is games or contests or other nonsense I walk. If the connection isn't there and I have doubts in my mind I walk. I just don't have time for that BS anymore. SORRY!

I don't have expectations for sex on the first date or even the second or even the third maybe. But I wouldn't be waiting around for months.
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