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Old 09-18-2009, 10:23 PM
 
17,751 posts, read 15,663,102 times
Reputation: 6391

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Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
It's not necessary that a man in his 30's is an uncommited bachelor. A lot of men in 30's are divorced or just had a bad luck in a relationship. Perhaps, as a man, you understand male psychology better, but I beg to differ. First of all, sex on the 5th date is not out of ordinary. I mean seriously. It's not wanting to bang on a 1st date. Men in their 30's simply don't have this time to waste. Those men who want themselves a wife need to know if sex is good as soon as possible. All this prolonged dating without sex for months is more of a younger adults thing. Who wants a short term restricted diet? It doesn't make any sense to me.
Hi max's mama,

A lot of men it may be but its far fewer those who have paired up earlier. Men in their 30s have plenty of time to waste since they are fertile into their sixties and beyond. That it is not out of the ordinary is simply an acknowledgement of the situation. The reason why men in their 30s demand more sex as a group sooner is the reason I stated. Another reason is they are more likely to get it because women have less negotiating power in their 30s. They are in the latter stages of fertility and are beginning to reach parity in the gender ratios. Women settle for less. That's always the risk reward proposition. A women in her 30s denying sex is gambling on a higher commitment at the risk of losing any opportunity to reproduce. The balance of power shifts from female dominance in her 20s to parity in her 30s to a slow decline starting in her 40s. Its completely driven by the woman. A women in her 20s can certainly make a man in his 30s wait if she is attractive. IMHO

Last edited by gwynedd1; 09-18-2009 at 10:35 PM..

 
Old 09-18-2009, 10:27 PM
 
9,830 posts, read 19,591,644 times
Reputation: 7605
Quote:
Originally Posted by CESpeed View Post
What is there get to out of man simply using you for sexual gratification? The couple of times it's happened I got the only thing there is to get out of such an encounter: feeling used.

If you only want casual sex and you agree to it, that's a completely different conversation.
Sure I guess if you can see into his heart and say for sure he is just using you for a quick bang.

Often I hear women whine they got used because the guy slept with them and then never came back. Well of course. You don't win every battle. If he didn't come back it's because the sex probably wasnt good and the connection wasn't there. Why would you want him to come back?

Personally I have never to my memory slept with women just to get a quick lay. But if I didn't go back there was a strong reason for it and something tripped my wire that said this wasn't the person for me. I wouldn't take it personally but it seems women often do, many times I think to their regret trying to form relationships that probably shouldn't continue.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 10:33 PM
 
17,751 posts, read 15,663,102 times
Reputation: 6391
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Pretty close to what I would say. I'm in my 30's now but I didn't purposefully seek out uncommitted relationships. I was living in ski resorts for too long with a high turnover of people. I just haven't found the right person I have wanted to legally sign my life over to yet.

And it is true at least for us men and definitely me, I don't waste time with game playing or other nonsense. When I was younger I was willing to be strung along a bit(and I'm not talking explicitly about sex either), now if there is games or contests or other nonsense I walk. If the connection isn't there and I have doubts in my mind I walk. I just don't have time for that BS anymore. SORRY!

I don't have expectations for sex on the first date or even the second or even the third maybe. But I wouldn't be waiting around for months.

Hi wanneroo,
"I just haven't found the right person I have wanted to legally sign my life over to yet."
That's uncommitted and low investment. You have no object of commitment whether you are driven to it or not. Thus every mate you have had interactions towards was typically shorter term and you were not willing to make a large investment. It has nothing to do with games. Women who will not give up sex are not playing games at all. They are seeking high investment males. A true game is when a personal is inconsistent and irrational and typically manipulative.
 
Old 09-18-2009, 11:50 PM
 
Location: Dallas
613 posts, read 906,026 times
Reputation: 548
Im 27. I've slept with girls for a quick lay but if its good ill hang around. It depends on the guy if he wants a relationship hell stay if he just wants sex hell leave. I've also pretended to like a girl just to sleep with her so sometimes u just gotta gamble and see if it works out. Im not a scumbag Im just being honest I dont want to get married anytime soon and if theres a girl i wanna sleep with I tell her what she wants to hear to get it.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 12:35 AM
 
9,830 posts, read 19,591,644 times
Reputation: 7605
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Hi wanneroo,
"I just haven't found the right person I have wanted to legally sign my life over to yet."
That's uncommitted and low investment. You have no object of commitment whether you are driven to it or not. Thus every mate you have had interactions towards was typically shorter term and you were not willing to make a large investment. It has nothing to do with games. Women who will not give up sex are not playing games at all. They are seeking high investment males. A true game is when a personal is inconsistent and irrational and typically manipulative.
I was being facetious there, so calm down.

Oh I was willing to make a "large investment" but often the 9000 mile separation at the end of ski season was too much. And for a lot of the women they were just there for short term fun and didn't have any aspirations of anything more.

Looking back there was no woman in my 20's I ever found that I would have ended up happy with so it worked out for me. I've never been picky but I don't champion mediocrity and hence am not interested in getting married just to be married as so many are wont to do. My approach is that if I find someone that I want to make a long term commitment to then great, if not I feel fine with that as well. No worries for me.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 03:54 AM
 
1,158 posts, read 3,375,619 times
Reputation: 758
We want it all the time and it is a form of validation for us. But even with that, I get the most satisfaction out of getting her off.

By the way, sleeping with me on the first date will not make me think ill of you. In fact, it tells me you are REALLY into me (like I was into you, ) and it helps get a lot of the game playing out of the way.

The problem with women is that they overthink and often project how they behave on to men. Men are a lot simpler emotionally and in their approach to sex than women. So stop with the tendency to see everything as a big elaborate drama. It isn't, except between your ears. Just relax and enjoy who you're with.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 03:58 AM
 
1,158 posts, read 3,375,619 times
Reputation: 758
Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Hi wanneroo,
"I just haven't found the right person I have wanted to legally sign my life over to yet."
That's uncommitted and low investment. You have no object of commitment whether you are driven to it or not. Thus every mate you have had interactions towards was typically shorter term and you were not willing to make a large investment. It has nothing to do with games. Women who will not give up sex are not playing games at all. They are seeking high investment males. A true game is when a personal is inconsistent and irrational and typically manipulative.
"Investment?"

Another woman who sees men as economic objects.

Also, women who think as you wrote are PITA and no fun to be around, much less to be in a relationship with.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 04:57 AM
 
Location: Rio de Janeiro, Brazil
597 posts, read 1,157,734 times
Reputation: 414
In the world has two kind of men:
1) Those make few sex;
2) And those who like to say lie.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 05:01 AM
 
Location: Saturn
1,519 posts, read 1,449,552 times
Reputation: 245
Quote:
Originally Posted by msboom View Post
yes, I know where babies come from. Im just wondering what is a man's main motivation (in most cases) for committing - is it for regular sex? Is regular sex that important to men?
No regular sex does not = commitment, in my opinion.

I'd love to have sex every day but my wife doesn't.
I have no difficulty with that.........it doesn't lessen my commitment to her and our marriage.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 05:40 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,895 posts, read 25,351,824 times
Reputation: 26407
One size doesn't fit all. Some men are quite ok with very little sex. Others prefer to have sex multiple times every day.
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