U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Closed Thread Start New Thread
 
Old 09-19-2009, 06:12 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,404,187 times
Reputation: 8031

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by gwynedd1 View Post
Hi max's mama,

A lot of men it may be but its far fewer those who have paired up earlier. Men in their 30s have plenty of time to waste since they are fertile into their sixties and beyond. That it is not out of the ordinary is simply an acknowledgement of the situation. The reason why men in their 30s demand more sex as a group sooner is the reason I stated. Another reason is they are more likely to get it because women have less negotiating power in their 30s. They are in the latter stages of fertility and are beginning to reach parity in the gender ratios. Women settle for less. That's always the risk reward proposition. A women in her 30s denying sex is gambling on a higher commitment at the risk of losing any opportunity to reproduce. The balance of power shifts from female dominance in her 20s to parity in her 30s to a slow decline starting in her 40s. Its completely driven by the woman. A women in her 20s can certainly make a man in his 30s wait if she is attractive. IMHO
I don't disagree with you about the power shift, but the problem is that we both are generalizing, stereotyping and making sweeping statements. Some women in their 30s are just also tired. They are tired of dating, tired of playing hard to get, tired of games. They also want to settle down, find someone they can share a life with. Therefore, they don't withhold sex. Additionaly a lot of women in their 30s gain wisdom that women in their 20s don't have and they start to look differently on this entire sex situation, simpler.
I don't think either you or me are wrong here. We both have a point, because there are different sides to all stories.

 
Old 09-19-2009, 06:15 AM
 
Location: South FL
9,444 posts, read 15,404,187 times
Reputation: 8031
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Sure I guess if you can see into his heart and say for sure he is just using you for a quick bang.

Often I hear women whine they got used because the guy slept with them and then never came back. Well of course. You don't win every battle. If he didn't come back it's because the sex probably wasnt good and the connection wasn't there. Why would you want him to come back?

Personally I have never to my memory slept with women just to get a quick lay. But if I didn't go back there was a strong reason for it and something tripped my wire that said this wasn't the person for me. I wouldn't take it personally but it seems women often do, many times I think to their regret trying to form relationships that probably shouldn't continue.
I think women will feel used if they allow themselves to feel that way. If they just take a different perspective for a moment and enjoy it for what it is, there will be a lot less heartbreaks. I think this kind of thinking happens is when a woman expects something after "she gives it up".
 
Old 09-19-2009, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Hot Springs, AR
5,612 posts, read 13,557,906 times
Reputation: 3747
Quote:
Originally Posted by wanneroo View Post
Sure I guess if you can see into his heart and say for sure he is just using you for a quick bang.

Often I hear women whine they got used because the guy slept with them and then never came back. Well of course. You don't win every battle. If he didn't come back it's because the sex probably wasnt good and the connection wasn't there. Why would you want him to come back?

Personally I have never to my memory slept with women just to get a quick lay. But if I didn't go back there was a strong reason for it and something tripped my wire that said this wasn't the person for me. I wouldn't take it personally but it seems women often do, many times I think to their regret trying to form relationships that probably shouldn't continue.
Maybe, just maybe, if a man had the resepct to tell a woman this isn't working for me and why it isn't working I might believe this. Truth this is just another excuse.

Most men date for the sole purpose of getting laid. A man who really wants a real relationship has no problem spending time getting to know a person outside of the bedroom before getting to know her inside the bedroom.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 06:49 AM
 
25,971 posts, read 32,970,649 times
Reputation: 32148
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
I think women will feel used if they allow themselves to feel that way. If they just take a different perspective for a moment and enjoy it for what it is, there will be a lot less heartbreaks. I think this kind of thinking happens is when a woman expects something after "she gives it up".
Most women are "giving it up" because they do expect more from the relationship. Not hard to understand them feeling used when they find out there was nothing more there. "Enjoying it for what it is" - meaning just enjoying it for casual non-committal sex, sounds all cool and modern and happ'nin', but the reality is, most women don't want that in the first place.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 06:55 AM
 
Location: MichOhioigan
1,546 posts, read 2,535,619 times
Reputation: 1459
Quote:
Originally Posted by steve1282 View Post
Im 27. I've slept with girls for a quick lay but if its good ill hang around. It depends on the guy if he wants a relationship hell stay if he just wants sex hell leave. I've also pretended to like a girl just to sleep with her so sometimes u just gotta gamble and see if it works out. Im not a scumbag Im just being honest I dont want to get married anytime soon and if theres a girl i wanna sleep with I tell her what she wants to hear to get it.
So are you honest or not? Your response is contradictory. Perhaps we should ask the women you slept with if you are a "scumbag" or not.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 07:42 AM
 
Location: New Zealand and Australia
7,456 posts, read 11,534,725 times
Reputation: 7783
It really depends what is going on in your life. I mean if I am working my ass off and/or under alot of stress sex can take a backseat. If however this is not so much the case I'm more likely to want action. But don't want it as much as say 10 years ago (I'm 30 now). Wouldn't say my libido has dropped that much, more that sex has got abit old for me, its not that new thrill for me it was 10 years ago.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 07:47 AM
 
Location: Ostend,Belgium....
8,820 posts, read 6,361,885 times
Reputation: 4885
finally! a guy who admits that! lots of men would not dare...good on ya! dave nz!
sex does lose some of its luster as you get older and most people cling onto that "gotta have it" feeling (or try to anyway) because getting older can be scary...
 
Old 09-19-2009, 07:48 AM
 
Location: Rockland County New York
2,984 posts, read 5,243,196 times
Reputation: 1293
Quote:
Originally Posted by msboom View Post
I always thought that once you have sex with a guy, he will disappear on you. So I always make them wait even though I want to do things earlier. How important is regular sex to a man, my new understanding is most of them hope you'll do it again (and again and again.) Sorry to sound clueless , but is this the main reason guys even have girlfriends?
Dear Ms. Boom,

Regular sex is important to most men but receiving the love from a wonderful women is even more important. Ask your self what is more important to your fellow, your bed or your heart.
 
Old 09-19-2009, 08:49 AM
 
17,751 posts, read 15,637,549 times
Reputation: 6391
Quote:
Originally Posted by max's mama View Post
I don't disagree with you about the power shift, but the problem is that we both are generalizing, stereotyping and making sweeping statements.
Hi max's mama,

That's not a problem for me. I frequently make sweeping statements. I do not play slot machines, or any other game of "chance" in a casino because the game is rigged for me to lose. Even in the face of mathematical proofs I am always presented with stories about the winners. What you are dealing with here and everywhere else is with probabilities. You are an individual in a world of probabilities. An inappropriate use of a generalization is when you take a population characteristic and apply it to an individual. Furthermore, as I have stated before, many people believe they are the exception to the rule. That is why they gamble, buy lottery tickets and why women sleep with a man on the third date hoping he is going to invest into the relationship more than his actions portend.


Quote:
Some women in their 30s are just also tired. They are tired of dating, tired of playing hard to get, tired of games. They also want to settle down, find someone they can share a life with. Therefore, they don't withhold sex.
Again not wanting to give up sex is no game . It is a game to me since its about an hour of pleasure(I like to take my time). A women risks disease since the man injects something into her. A man in circulation is a big risk. She also needs to carry a fetus for 9 months which ties up her reproductive capacity, robs her of nutrients, ravages her immune system , possibly kills her in child birth in a bloody and painful event and another year or so of poor mobility and lactation. That is what a man is asking for in a sexual favor. He should say "Thank You".

Quote:
Additionaly a lot of women in their 30s gain wisdom that women in their 20s don't have and they start to look differently on this entire sex situation, simpler.
I don't think either you or me are wrong here. We both have a point, because there are different sides to all stories.
It is not about right and wrong here at all. I hope you do not take this conversation as an argument. If a woman wants short term relationships or wants to find a higher status mate be removing a requirement then mileage may very. She should just know the probabilities. There is another thread her about pregnant women and men who move on to the next.

I am just trying to provide insight for women to consider and how many of us men work. I know what I would do since I have elements of both low investment drives and high investment drives. Low investment tends not to influence me because I am averse to leaving women with broken hearts. As much as I like the way women look , I like them too much to to cause heart break. However without that, I know what I would be doing.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Closed Thread

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Relationships
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2019, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top