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So there were other guys which were better than he was?
What I am saying is that there is no "best." Many things factor into "great sex," - chemistry/connection, intimacy, etc. It's more than just the motion and by my ex not being the "end all, be all" it means that I do not "comparative shop."
I was chatting with a friend of mine online earlier, and something she said got me to wondering something.
Now, my friend married the first/only man she ever had sex with. They got married around age 22. It doesn't seem like she likes sex very much. I wonder if her husband is bad in bed, only she doesn't know it because he's the only one she's ever been with. It just seems like she thinks sex just isn't that big a deal.
Any thoughts on this? Did any of you marry your "first" only to get divorced later and discover then, what mind blowing sex really is?
Trust me, you'll know what good sex is and you'll know what bad sex is. Sex isn't a big deal to her because 1. she sucks in bed. 2. he sucks in bed. 3. they both suck in bed.
What I am saying is that there is no "best." Many things factor into "great sex," - chemistry/connection, intimacy, etc. It's more than just the motion and by my ex not being the "end all, be all" it means that I do not "comparative shop."
I think you are right about intimacy being so very important in a relationship and sex. The fact that we share a tight loving bond makes sex far more erotic.
My wife and I were friends in high school(never dated). We lost touch until about 4 years ago(We're both in our late thirties now). By a mutal friend we have, we had dinner and a get to reknow ya, how ya been doing thing. Needless to say, we've been together ever since. I was married twice before(long story) and had many relationships. She had many realtionships along the way, but never lived with a man, much less married any of them. Our sex live is good. We both travel with our jobs and see each other about 14 days a month. That seems to help keep the chemistry going. We both admit that had we dated in high school, we never would have made it. We needed the exploration with other people to cherish what we have now, and what we have now is a beautiful thing!
I'm still with my "first" and only. We've been having sex for about 18 years now. Of course, with nothing to compare it to, it's hard to know if we're having "mind-blowing" sex as compared with the neighbors, but it's always been very good. My wife has multiple orgasms pretty much everytime, which I used to find unbelievable when we first started .. really? but no.. she does. I'm not sure if that's me or her, but I suspect it's her. She's just a sexual person.
I've always enjoyed being with her, and I don't really feel any great want having not been with anyone else.. Another thing to note too -- our sex life has grown with us. Just like we're not stuck in the same behavior and attitude patterns we exhibited at 17, we don't have sex like "shy, awkward teenagers" either as a previous poster put it. Our sex life now is dramatically different than it was 15 years ago. (For example, where we used to worry about waking up our parents, now we worry about waking up our daughter.) Also, fairly early on we began talking about sex and ways it could be better for both us .. I think the kind of sex you have as a teenager in a longterm, committed relationship is different than the drunken groping in back seats and at parties many people seem to associate with teen sex. By 17, we had been having sex multiple times a week for more than a year. At that point, we were pretty comfortable talking to each other. We were long passed trying to impress each other or keeping our true thoughts and feeling concealed.
It's possible I've only known mediocre sex, but if that's the case, I'm glad ... if there is better sex to be had than the sex I've been getting all these years, I probably wouldn't even leave the bedroom. I'd be like a drug addict. If the sex gets better than this, keep that to yourself. I have to have a non sex life too.
I'm still with my "first" and only. We've been having sex for about 18 years now. Of course, with nothing to compare it to, it's hard to know if we're having "mind-blowing" sex as compared with the neighbors, but it's always been very good. My wife has multiple orgasms pretty much everytime, which I used to find unbelievable when we first started .. really? but no.. she does. I'm not sure if that's me or her, but I suspect it's her. She's just a sexual person.
I've always enjoyed being with her, and I don't really feel any great want having not been with anyone else.. Another thing to note too -- our sex life has grown with us. Just like we're not stuck in the same behavior and attitude patterns we exhibited at 17, we don't have sex like "shy, awkward teenagers" either as a previous poster put it. Our sex life now is dramatically different than it was 15 years ago. (For example, where we used to worry about waking up our parents, now we worry about waking up our daughter.) Also, fairly early on we began talking about sex and ways it could be better for both us .. I think the kind of sex you have as a teenager in a longterm, committed relationship is different than the drunken groping in back seats and at parties many people seem to associate with teen sex. By 17, we had been having sex multiple times a week for more than a year. At that point, we were pretty comfortable talking to each other. We were long passed trying to impress each other or keeping our true thoughts and feeling concealed.
It's possible I've only known mediocre sex, but if that's the case, I'm glad ... if there is better sex to be had than the sex I've been getting all these years, I probably wouldn't even leave the bedroom. I'd be like a drug addict. If the sex gets better than this, keep that to yourself. I have to have a non sex life too.
I know where you are coming from. My wife used to tell people she went to church almost every day when we were dating/engaged. She did not tell them that we would park my jeep in the church parking lot and have sex there for hours in the dark. The sex with my wife is womderful and making her come multipe times is a great pleasure. I am happy to know I am the only man to make her come like a s**t. I am fortunate to spend my life with her and sex never gets dull.
I was chatting with a friend of mine online earlier, and something she said got me to wondering something.
Now, my friend married the first/only man she ever had sex with. They got married around age 22. It doesn't seem like she likes sex very much. I wonder if her husband is bad in bed, only she doesn't know it because he's the only one she's ever been with. It just seems like she thinks sex just isn't that big a deal.
Any thoughts on this? Did any of you marry your "first" only to get divorced later and discover then, what mind blowing sex really is?
I didn't have a lot of sex before meeting my wife and none of it that great. I had a good but VERY vanilla sex life with my wife.
I would say that you probably hit the nail on the head Tropical....since returning to dating I've had an incredibly good sex life. A lot of that is probably attributable to the fact I'm back into the shape I was in 15 years ago and that affects everything.
I was chatting with a friend of mine online earlier, and something she said got me to wondering something.
Now, my friend married the first/only man she ever had sex with. They got married around age 22. It doesn't seem like she likes sex very much. I wonder if her husband is bad in bed, only she doesn't know it because he's the only one she's ever been with. It just seems like she thinks sex just isn't that big a deal.
Any thoughts on this? Did any of you marry your "first" only to get divorced later and discover then, what mind blowing sex really is?
If he's the only guy she has ever been with the she has nothing to compare it to. If you never had it (another lover), then you don't necessarily miss it.
On the other hand if you are driving a buick for 10 years and then you drive a corvette - it's quite mindblowing and you don't ever want to go back to your old buick LOL
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I wonder if her husband is bad in bed, only she doesn't know it because he's the only one she's ever been with. It just seems like she thinks sex just isn't that big a deal. 
