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Old 09-20-2009, 11:39 PM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,189,340 times
Reputation: 2907

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Thursday007 View Post
You have absolutely no first hand knowledge or experience it's all heresay from other biased men . You've never dealt with divorce, or experienced it yourself. While much of what I cite is printed - I come from a family where there were 6 children on both sides of my parents family, that's 12 in all, and all of them are divorced or went through it except one - but she was a lesbian and is no longer alive.
I would guess that if you live on the "wrong side of the tracks", things might be rough but I'll bet that they were little better before divorce.

From my perspective, I don't know of one divorced friend who didn't give the house with most of its contents and a good, near new vehicle to his ex. They split the savings and she got a share of his retirement income. Then there was CS and/or alimony depending on what stage the marriage was in.

If you've read my posts for long, you might recall the guy who lived 183 days in a CL relationship and she got the house. Cost him another $100K, too.

My GF of a few weeks last summer got $1300 a week in CS and that's more than I take home! From what I can tell, she has now found someone to travel with and her kids are spending much of their time with her ex. (They both have houses near the kid's school, so this works for the kids) Gee, I could probably quit my job and travel permanently on $1300 a week.

All this raises a question for me. I went through hell to get an education, save to buy a house and pay off my debts to be in a good situation today. These women have all this given to them and yet they still complain. Surely, with a vehicle and a roof over their head, they can live on almost any job's income? Yet some have petitioned the court for more. Finally they lost a round!

 
Old 09-20-2009, 11:59 PM
 
1,322 posts, read 1,403,264 times
Reputation: 1440
I don't know about all that..

Ya know that 78% of all statistics are made up on the spot?

Ok, all kidding aside.. Most of the guys that I know aren't married, but it has nothing to do with them finding marriage unappealing. More to the point, it seems like finding someone who is a good match for them is like trying to train a monkey to write Shakespeare. In my opinion, I think that's really the heart of the matter. People don't get married like they used to because of the great diversity of people.

As a quick example, a good buddy of mine doesn't drink, doesn't party, but he's still a hell of a guy. It seems that everyone that he meets is either a little crazy or a lot timid - according to what he's looking for. So, he keeps dating, and never finds that "perfect" person.

So, I think that with so many different types of people out there, with so many differing opinions on what a "good marriage" should be like, these people have become way too picky in their endless lists of requirements.

Then again, it could just be that men generally don't find marriage as appealing.

Hell, I dunno.. I'm just rambling.
 
Old 09-21-2009, 12:01 AM
 
24,548 posts, read 14,912,252 times
Reputation: 24982
I don't live on the wrong side of the tracks and no things were not better before the divorce and it's one of the reasons I left home on my 18th birthday and put myself through college because it was an intolerable environment, one in which a good education would prevent me from ever living like that later in life. Unfortunately, details will be withheld about what really went on for the sake of privacy, but you would be suprised and it wasn't simple.

If you took the time to read and all the posts in this thread, before jumping into a conversation at the hind quarters, you would be able to assess my points of view and have a suitable debate of knowledge and experience. There are also several posts in which I point at both parties nobody is fooling anybody.

Running at the mouth (with some pretty bad assumptions) without educating yourself with the conversation isn't impressive, in fact, it is selective ignorance by choice.

I already stated, and I will state again, if people have a biased view and perceive their limited knowledge as being 100%, then there is no room for discussion just rhetorical arguing and bickering that goes nowhere. On that note, I bid you all a good evening.
 
Old 09-21-2009, 12:03 AM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,189,340 times
Reputation: 2907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
Again, says who? You people keep saying it, but all I have in the word of CD'er men.
Rutgers University has the marriage project. Their stats. (that I occasionally quote from) note a severe decline in marriages over the past 50 years and their interviews with men have detected an increasing reluctance to marry.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Braunwyn View Post
What studies? The men in this thread are not happy. njguy is not nor has ever been involved (from what I understand) and is not happy.
There's a study that is being covered on several sites. Maureen Dowd's NYT column of Sunday discussed it:

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/20/opinion/20dowd.html?_r=1

Women are less happy and men are more happy than 40 years ago. More than 1/3 of men are now single compared to 10% then. Coincidence?
 
Old 09-21-2009, 12:10 AM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,189,340 times
Reputation: 2907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Darthfrodo View Post
SIGH............Been through it (divorce)...........on occasion.

I can only speak from my own experience. I won't ever get married again. I'm fully in favor of a long term exclusive dedicated relationship. I don't need a piece of paper to tell a woman I love her. But marriage? No. For me it's no longer practical. When you're married, and your spouse decides it isn't working, or, decides to cheat, it means several months of turmoil.....lawyers....court.....financial bickering.......property division. If we're single??? We walk away with what we have.....IMMEDIATELY. I certainly wouldn't want anything she's earned, and she can't take what I have. We are both on a level playing field.

Now for guys that have never been married? They may have different reasons.
Be careful! In more and more states and provinces, CL eventually is treated like marriage. A new law here mandates 3 years for full rights. In the jurisdiction next door, where my friend lost his house after 183 days, its 6 months. He was just lucky she didn't get pregnant.
 
Old 09-21-2009, 12:17 AM
 
Location: southern california
50,302 posts, read 47,653,355 times
Reputation: 41675
the interview with gloria steinem says volumns, so what does she think of 50% divorce?
"sign of the times".
best let them eat cake statement i've heard in years.
is this is the social responsibility lecturer we had to listen to for 40 years?
thats it?

Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 09-21-2009 at 12:38 AM..
 
Old 09-21-2009, 12:41 AM
 
1,301 posts, read 1,566,055 times
Reputation: 1258
The reason people are disheartened about marriage because they married the wrong person...sometimes on purpose. They don't take marriage seriously ike having a ceremony and having a ring as a sign of a covenant. Anyway, my boyfriend and I can't wait to get married.
 
Old 09-21-2009, 02:03 AM
 
4,838 posts, read 5,189,340 times
Reputation: 2907
Quote:
Originally Posted by Saberai View Post
The reason people are disheartened about marriage because they married the wrong person...sometimes on purpose. They don't take marriage seriously ike having a ceremony and having a ring as a sign of a covenant. Anyway, my boyfriend and I can't wait to get married.
That sounds like many people who married the wrong person!
 
Old 09-21-2009, 02:31 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,237 posts, read 27,195,922 times
Reputation: 10607
Quote:
Originally Posted by zz4guy View Post
so true. How can anybody have the number of reps and posts some of these people have. THey are stuck at home day and night while the man is off making the money lol
I work 40 hours a week, and spend two hours a day walking back and forth to work. Other than that, I really don't have anything better to do than get on the Internet.
 
Old 09-21-2009, 06:12 AM
 
Location: Marion, IA
2,785 posts, read 3,786,613 times
Reputation: 1498
Quote:
Originally Posted by TKramar View Post
I work 40 hours a week, and spend two hours a day walking back and forth to work. Other than that, I really don't have anything better to do than get on the Internet.
Try making love to your husband. You might like it better than ranting on the internet. Maybe.
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