Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
My friends are getting married. None of them are talking about how awesome it will be to be married to this person for the next 50 years.
However, I hear an awful lot about diamond rings, resort hotel ballrooms, dresses, and wedding photographs.
I'm told that all this is a 'symbol' of something or another, but symbols are only as strong as the principles which they stand for. Sometimes I feel like we have a society of strong, gaudy symbols and weak promises.
It's very true. After the honeymoon is over real life takes over. When my cousin got married in 1993 she spoke about her husband as if he was the most handsome loving man alive. Less than four years later they were divorced. They had an expensive wedding and she wore her perfect wedding and engagement right as a sign of her love. It was not meant to be. I guess they really never thought about what happens after the wedding. She met and had an affair with a guy who would be her next husband while still married to the first.
Among the divorces of people I know, the woman gets the house because she has the kids. The man pays 1/3 of his salary to her for child support, as well as partial daycare costs and the kids' medical coverage is negotiated (either one pays - depending on each individual circumstance). He rents an efficiency or one-bedroom apartment. The wife is working and earning her own income, so she comes out ahead.
Lets also not forget she gets 1/2 or more of everything they own most of which was earned by the man.
Pile all this on top of the attitudes of some of the women in this thread and marriage is a tough sell for any sane guy.
I've experienced divorce as a woman whose husband cheated and as the new wife of a man whose ex-wife just "fell out of love" and wanted him gone.
Whether you are a man or a woman- it is a bad deal. (Not to mention how awful for the children.)
In divorce, women still have a few advantages with getting the kids, etc. but men still have more financial advantages (no matter how much you hear about "she took everything"...it rarely happens.)
The common factor here is that the party that did not want the divorce still pays (financially and emotionally) more than the one who wanted out. Usually our courts do not reward the person who is "good" in a marriage.
To the OP- Men will still seek marriage- even with the threat of future divorce. Women have continued to seek marriage- even with the threat of future beatings or neglect or skirt chasing.
There are horrible people out there...but there are fantastic ones as well. Something in our humanity drives us to keep looking for our life partner.
Lets also not forget she gets 1/2 or more of everything they own most of which was earned by the man.
Pile all this on top of the attitudes of some of the women in this thread and marriage is a tough sell for any sane guy.
You cannot pile this with attitudes found in this thread because it's not true for the women in this thread. Most of my household income is not earned by my dh. All of my money goes to my dh without question. If a divorce ever happened, he would get half of everything, which would be fair because that is what I signed up for.
Also, keep in mind that the women you attract and marry are a reflection of you, not women at large.
You cannot pile this with attitudes found in this thread because it's not true for the women in this thread. Most of my household income is not earned by my dh. All of my money goes to my dh without question. If a divorce ever happened, he would get half of everything, which would be fair because that is what I signed up for.
Also, keep in mind that the women you attract and marry are a reflection of you, not women at large.
If this is true than I a wonderful man because my wife is an angel.
I would just like to add to your thoughts with my opinion. I belive that since more women are screaming equal rights and trying to do the same thing as men, then this is why men don't feel they should get married. I mean, marriage use to be about a woman and a man standing by each other, loving each other unconditionally even through tough times and the woman would abide by her man and would not question his judgment; but now since women want to be the men, it's only natural for men to feel they shouldn't be in a realtionship because it will be a power struggle. It would be about who makes the most money, who doesn't make enough money, who will watch the kids, who doesn't have enough air to breathe and the list goes on and on. What women should realize is when something happens to them, now there will not be a man there to protect them because women put out the notion that, we can do it ourselfs and we don't need a man to depend on. So women should realize what they are saying because when they want that guy to hold the door for them, or to protect them, let's just put it like this, you can't have your cake and eat it to.
If this is true than I a wonderful man because my wife is an angel.
The idea of likes attracting likes obviously wasn't conceived by me, tho, it has been my experience. Likewise, folk that attract toxic people need to inventory themselves, or at least make it a priority, rather than blaming everyone else for current/past problems (imo). It's silly that this has to be said over and over. I just can't relate to pointing fingers and blaming others for situations/events I freely elected to participate in.
I would just like to add to your thoughts with my opinion. I belive that since more women are screaming equal rights and trying to do the same thing as men, then this is why men don't feel they should get married. I mean, marriage use to be about a woman and a man standing by each other, loving each other unconditionally even through tough times and the woman would abide by her man and would not question his judgment; but now since women want to be the men, it's only natural for men to feel they shouldn't be in a realtionship because it will be a power struggle. It would be about who makes the most money, who doesn't make enough money, who will watch the kids, who doesn't have enough air to breathe and the list goes on and on. What women should realize is when something happens to them, now there will not be a man there to protect them because women put out the notion that, we can do it ourselfs and we don't need a man to depend on. So women should realize what they are saying because when they want that guy to hold the door for them, or to protect them, let's just put it like this, you can't have your cake and eat it to.
Ok, [insert whoever's foot this sock belongs to- i guess nj!].
Well, statistically speaking, whatever marriage you have is likely to end up in divorce. And after divorce, men need to pay alimony which can place very onerous financial burden on him without corresponding emotional or financial benefit. You tell me, would you rationally prefer such a risky endeavor?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
A Power Struggle
