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Unread 09-29-2009, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Houston
3,567 posts, read 1,351,258 times
Reputation: 931
I don't think you are "financially stable" just because you "own" a house. Probably got a huge mortage and the banks used to give loans to everybody. Having a house means nothing. 2 years ago almsot anybody would have gotten one. Other things are more important to me. Some people just love living in an apartment, others just don't like it and want a house. So what. But maybe I'm just different
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Unread 09-29-2009, 09:47 PM
 
4,646 posts, read 4,791,786 times
Reputation: 2853
Quote:
Originally Posted by JustJulia View Post
Yeah, I'd generally expect a single guy in his 30s to either own a house or be able to buy one if he chose. We bought our first house at 35, which embarrasses me. Everyone in my family was in their 20s--their early 20s--when they bought their first house. I know times are tough right now and some people are unemployed and living off their savings, so I wouldn't be repelled by a guy who didn't have one. I just see it as one of the major indicators of adulthood. If you are single and childless, I just expect you to have something to show for your life, not an apartment filled with 100 video games, a $2500 television, and furniture from Ikea.
First off, Ikea furniture is not that bad.

2nd: Everyone has different values. There are more types of people in the world than just those who own a home as quickly as possible and those who have 100 video games. (I for one haven't played video games for a decade and a half).

Most people didn't buy houses as real estate. Back when there was a much smaller middle class, people either inherited homes or they rented (the masses). In much of the rest of the world its still like that. Most of the world doesn't have home-ownership as a prerequisite for maturity.

Personally, I put a higher priority on being well-read and well-traveled. (But then again I'm a geography teacher).

I happen to have an apartment with IKEA furniture, a couple hundred books on a variety of topics, some souviners from unique places I've gotten the chance to travel to. Home ownership in fact is really not even necessary when one is single.

If a woman doesn't think this "mature and stable" well they can move on. They're the ones missing out.
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Unread 09-29-2009, 10:12 PM
 
3,441 posts, read 4,550,907 times
Reputation: 2293
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tex?Il? View Post
First off, Ikea furniture is not that bad.

2nd: Everyone has different values. There are more types of people in the world than just those who own a home as quickly as possible and those who have 100 video games. (I for one haven't played video games for a decade and a half).

Most people didn't buy houses as real estate. Back when there was a much smaller middle class, people either inherited homes or they rented (the masses). In much of the rest of the world its still like that. Most of the world doesn't have home-ownership as a prerequisite for maturity.

Personally, I put a higher priority on being well-read and well-traveled. (But then again I'm a geography teacher).

I happen to have an apartment with IKEA furniture, a couple hundred books on a variety of topics, some souviners from unique places I've gotten the chance to travel to. Home ownership in fact is really not even necessary when one is single.

If a woman doesn't think this "mature and stable" well they can move on. They're the ones missing out.
Yes I agree, I'm actually in a lot of strangers homes because it's the nature of my work and I NEVER see any books. It's just DVDs and video games. (lol)
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Unread 09-29-2009, 10:17 PM
 
Location: Tucson
42,853 posts, read 49,226,680 times
Reputation: 22661
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
Yes I agree, I'm actually in a lot of strangers homes because it's the nature of my work and I NEVER see any books. It's just DVDs and video games. (lol)
Now, now... my books are on the 2nd floor! And I'll put the blind up when you come to wash that window! I can't possibly let you see my book collection after all... God knows cpg has talked more than enough about having a small shelf worth of certain books...
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Unread 09-29-2009, 10:20 PM
 
4,646 posts, read 4,791,786 times
Reputation: 2853
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sprawling_Homeowner View Post
There are definitely freeloaders out there, and the ability to buy a house or at least an apartment may depend on a number of factors.


A man in his early 30s who has poured many of his savings into a new business or to fund grad school may have to rent - but that would indicate ambition for a more profitable/prosperous future.

Furthermore, I know a number of single men in their early 30s who have good jobs, who are very stable persons, and who have their priorities straight - and who are renting. Often, these guys do not buy because: a) they are waiting to marry and then to buy a house with their wives, as they'd be able to afford bigger and better than as singles; and, b) they are extremely choosy and have waited out the real estate prices to fall further. I myself could have saved 15K-20K if I had waited 12-18 months more before I bought my current apartment (first-ever home purchase) in mid-2007.

However, whether a man rents or owns, a man's management of personal commodities (time, automobile, finances) and other choices he makes will convey a vivid description of what kind of a person he is. Stability 'emanates' from those who are stable; erratic choices and their consequences seep out as well.

One of my better friends is 33 and rents. He lives in a clean, comfortable, and stylishly furnished and well-kept 1-bedroom (I actually need to hit Bed, Bath and Beyond and Home Depot for some new items; his apartment gave me some ideas to make mine cooler, LOL). He has a stable job, makes more money than me, and has a healthy portfolio. He has a nice car. He is an extremely stable and well-rounded individual, and I've seen he comes from an upper-middle class family. Would women be turned off by such a man because he doesn't own? Hardly.

People will make judgments on us based on how we carry ourselves, and the way we live speaks volumes about our choices and character. Home ownership or at the very least the maintenance quality of our homes send a huge message. That's why I keep the occasional messes in my apartment to a minimum and every weekend, I clean up the entire apartment. I've invested money and much more into this home; I want to keep it clean, neat, and presentable. I want to be proud of it, and I want those who visit to feel that.
Great quote of the year. Yes, if a guy is renting but is going to grad school or is working on his own new business and/or he's planning on buying when he gets married then any woman who can't see this for what it is, well . . . too bad.
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Unread 09-29-2009, 10:30 PM
 
711 posts, read 818,900 times
Reputation: 622
I don't judge that harshly...I look at the person not the bank account.
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Unread 09-29-2009, 10:40 PM
 
4,646 posts, read 4,791,786 times
Reputation: 2853
Quote:
Originally Posted by yayoi View Post
I guess from their perspective a guy that "owns" a home isn't afraid of making a long-term commitment. However, this is becoming less true today as a lot of "homeowners" see their properties as investments rather than homes.

Besides, most 30-somethings don't own their homes anyhow. Anyone who pays a mortgage on a home does not own it. A lot of Americans need a reality check on what ownership is.
Great point!!!!
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Unread 09-29-2009, 11:49 PM
miu
 
Location: MA/NH
12,594 posts, read 19,891,603 times
Reputation: 9647
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tex?Il? View Post
Great quote of the year. Yes, if a guy is renting but is going to grad school or is working on his own new business and/or he's planning on buying when he gets married then any woman who can't see this for what it is, well . . . too bad.
However... TVSG doesn't have any of these good reasons for not owning his own place. He started the thread because he has no good excuses to tell women as to why he hasn't started building equity in himself. Instead, he is just annoyed at being asked why he is still renting at the age of 34 years old.

TVSG is just unable to present himself well to the world.
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Unread 09-30-2009, 03:28 AM
 
6,883 posts, read 7,318,626 times
Reputation: 5491
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
Yes I agree, I'm actually in a lot of strangers homes because it's the nature of my work and I NEVER see any books. It's just DVDs and video games. (lol)
Keep in mind, some people don't like to display that stuff. And others just don't collect a lot of it to begin with. I enjoy reading and I buy a lot books for my work. But these days, I'm trying to make better use of space and be a little more green. If a book is available in electronic form, I'd rather get that than have yet another book to squeeze onto a bookshelf that's already full.

Quote:
Originally Posted by miu View Post
However... TVSG doesn't have any of these good reasons for not owning his own place. He started the thread because he has no good excuses to tell women as to why he hasn't started building equity in himself. Instead, he is just annoyed at being asked why he is still renting at the age of 34 years old.

TVSG is just unable to present himself well to the world.
Hypersensitivity is such an attractive trait, isn't it? I suspect that even if he owned a mansion, sooner or later some woman is going to ask something he takes issue with.
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Unread 09-30-2009, 04:06 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, Florida
27,239 posts, read 23,951,682 times
Reputation: 10505
Quote:
Originally Posted by Morphous01 View Post
Yes I agree, I'm actually in a lot of strangers homes because it's the nature of my work and I NEVER see any books. It's just DVDs and video games. (lol)

Once I read a book, there isn't any need for me to read it again. I already know how the story goes, or have the information locked in my brain. So I go to the library to get books to read free of charge. And then turn them in when I'm done so someone else can enjoy them. There's a few DVD's around here, but they were given us by friends, we didn't go and buy them.
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